Radiology planning meeting Friday am,cue fainting goat again Mael ,as I am going to strange hospital and alone to appt cue high levels of anxiety .May have to crack open the Valium ...
HI Sheena and Mael,
Sure indoor cats fine, but living in a small one bedroomd apartment i dont feel its big enough for any pet, its not always big enough for me, and to be honest, i cant really afford a pet, they cost quite a bit with insurance etc,. so no i wont have one,. In my old house i lived in with my dad we had 2 b ut one more his than mine wandered off when he went into care, and the other one died, so i didnt have anymore as intended moving to city, Thought my social life would be too exciting, woulldnt have time for a pet Ever been had, lol, I had a cat door there but obviously couldnt have that in a flat, June
Friends do often behave in a strange way when you have cancer, ive had a few odd bits of behaviour myself, I often think though us on our own maybe expect more of friends than they can give, I know i do, Possibly even more than you, cause i dont have kids.Mine were all pretty good through my treatment alhough i felt some kept their distance, The friend i dog sit for can be a difficult friend at times, but during my diagnosis and treatment she was great, i knew i could always call on her,shes told me know if i need her shes there. Yet weve had fallouts and other week she started ranting at me over nothing really. Maybe they dont kn ow whar to do, cause one day she burst into tears and said i dont want you to die nor does Alf,thats the dog, I said i wasnt going to and she must not worry i was. Your friends behaviour is totally wrong but maybe if she realy cares about you shes not been able to express it and was scared of losing you,.
When you move i same circles is difficult, and after what weve had we are more vunerable are we not. This sat all my friends have been invited to a barbicue by someone i used to be quite friendly with, but unfortunately after a night out 3 years ago i was sick in her car, i paid a substantial amount for getting it cleaned and apologised but she isnt asking me to this,she hasnt to any do since, Ive been a bit tearful about it, as i do get pretty low at weekends on my own when everyone is in couples,and did feel after my illness she might have relaxed a bit, Ive seen her at other things as we move in same circles, but shes always a bit distant, i suppose ill never come in from cold but to me it seems total overeaction.and nasty, Its horrible to be left out, your friend should be greatful shes being included at all, you are not exactly leaving her out, Junex
on a slightly different note, I had an email from HR department today and was very grateful for the way my employers are treating me. My line manager has been a great support emailing to say hi and not expecting anything back
Me and James have demolished a couple of bottles of prosecco and a huge bowl of cheesy nachos, love my boy, bloody diamond, slightly **bleep***d, love you all and good night ladies xxxxx
ps love my little black cat too !!!
Jill, don't tell me! Although my short-fuseness has abated somewhat, and I am now more able to clinically dissect my emotions and see the nasty little butterfly who caused the storm (and get rid of it), I've still moments when I feel immensely sad over, like you said, utterly petty stuff. I guess we can't ask yet for emotional stability, but it will come, eventually. xxxx
Sheena, feel free to text me when you want, even when you're not worried! 😄 xxxxxxxx
Just passing by and lurking, my dear 8-and-counting-B ladies, and sending a big hug to you all xxxx
I've been a bit busy, a bit melancholic, a bit grumpy; nothing earth-shattering but when you're at your most vulnerable even a little intonation on the phone, a little firmness in a sentence of some random stranger can grow in your brain and make the day meh. I am already wondering what I am going to say to the shrink next Friday, as my mind is so empty bar for little strands of meh-ness, random complaints. Poor man, I don't pay him nowhere near enough to listen to the dredges of my uninspired self.
Finding great solace in working tho; I am grateful to my past self for not giving up when I was so low, and now I am even thinking that if they'll offer me another six months stint, I'll take it (I am the only one I know that continues working in this situation, and far from proud, I now think I am certifiably insane -- but then, so I am, what's the point in resisting?).
Sheena, how's the leg? June, my cat is an indoor cat, I assure you he's doing great! 🙂
Big hugs to everyone! Shower and dvd boxset now; London in August smells already of Autumn, and I feel cosy.
get a grip and drop this "billy"!
honestly, it breaks my heart but I have dropped a so called good friend because she "can't deal with her friend having cancer" jesus wept! How the hell did she think I deal with it
this makes me sooooooo angry and sad
you bloody well enjoy your treat madam xxxx
You have my sincere sympathy. I also had a 'friend' who behaved like this while I was undergoing treatment so I can really empathise with how upset and angry you feel! I had steam coming out of my ears at times . You are the most important person at this moment in time and if she can't (or won't) accept that then do you really want her as a 'friend'? She sounds extremely selfish and manipulative to me and seriously you really don't need any extra stress at this time. Why should you have to cope with someone who has tantrums? How old is she - five? Cancer makes you very clear-sighted about life and other people's motivation. If I were you I would be ruthless and de-friend her before she drags you down further, at least that is my opinion. Look after yourself and take care. xxxx
Only problem with that is, im barely 5ft and weight 7 stone so would have to be smallish dogs no bigger than my little charge Alfie,dont think i could cope with a great danelol. I dont think id want a dog myself, know they are company but they do tie you down, When my friend was asked last year to be best women to her gay friend in Leeds, and obviously her partner would go to , she had to check first i could stay round for 2 nights, so she could go away, as obviously couldnt have dog staying in hotel and with best woman duties, My social life isnt great but id like to accept any invites i might get without worrying about a dog. I dont know what she woukd do without me, she wouldnt leave him on his own all day, and she is definitely the kind of person who would not want a stranger,eg a dog walker in her house,But i love him and it keeps me in a routine and she takes her leave as days, so i get time off and of course weekends.
Glad polo went well, and such exalted company you are keeping, if you get invited to a Royal garden party,dont forget to tell him you have friendslol . Wasl Camilla there,?
Yes like you my boobs look pretty ok, i too had a good surgeon,he was Hungarian and i believe they do have a good reputation. i told him he did a great job, i can hardly see where lump removed, and as said my boobs maybe seem slightly more a 32d although my unwired bras ive been wearig seem tight, my underwired nes seem fine so think ill start wearing them permanently again.
Dentist today, boo hoo, hate scaling, it was worse than anything i had to do with my breast, Nothing wrong but he told me i must brush at back more as my gums inflamed slightly , Must do so, ive good teeth i inherited from my dad, he died at 98 with all intact, so dont want to lose mine. Tomorrow meeting old school friend at Carluccios, no doubt a bottlle of wine will be consumed, lol or maybe a campari and the odd glass.lol.