Surgery & living alone

[Kittkatt]

Jings, I do hope we're not just confusing you with all our different experiences, Mael! If nothing else you will now have a long list of questions to ask your team for their version of the advice! No drains for me.
I'd sum up my experience as really wishing I'd had a crystal ball when I was at your stage (last November) - I worried about every single thing, from the radioactive injection, through surgery to tattoos and radiotherapy. There genuinely wasn't a single stage that was anything like as bad as I had imagined it would be. Unfortunately there wouldn't have been a thing anyone could have told me to make me really believe how manageable it would all be - I had to find that out for myself!
You're obviously a feisty lady with the sort of sense of humour that will see you through this.
Hugs,
Kitt
X

[JoJo11]

I've always had drains after all my various surgeries, but it might not be universal. Best to be prepared though. It's good about the grocery delivery, that helps a lot. Especially for regular chocolate supplies.
Jojo

[Jobey68]

Also I was back driving after about 10 days without any problems too, I was very lucky to have my husband doing all the chores and cooking so I was able to rest completely but I was up and about doing bits and bobs just not lifting anything really with my right side, the last thing I wanted was to end up back in hospital! Xx

[Jobey68]

I had no drains, and barely any pain at all with lumpectomy and SNB, lymphodema is not really an issue I don't think unless you have more nodes removed or require radiotherapy to them, I had two removed and both were clear so am having no radiotherapy to my nodes and my oncologist told me lymphodema Wouldn't affect me and so far it hasn't, I found it a really straight forward op and was home within a few hours feeling fine, yes the mental anguish started to lift after the op although it's stressful awaiting the results I was ok and once I knew what they and found and my treatment plan I've felt so much better and am able to function again and feel pretty much normal, everyone is different I know but I've spoken to so many people who have had the same op and they have said much the same as me about it. Xx Jo

[mael]

All considered, and from the inputs I've had from this thread, I don't need to hire a cleaner, nor a cat sitter; while instead I need pillows, chocolate, boxsets and a compression bra (and a spare sets of nerves, but that sadly can't be bought). 

Thank you ladies, an experience shared it's a mistake less made by the n00bies 🙂

hugs and love, xxx

mael

[mael]

Thank you Jojo and Jillybee xxx

Do they put drains in place after a lumpectomy + snb? O_o 

I thought it was reserved for the mastectomies?

As for the groceries, it's a very good point -- I have to say anyway that I am having them delivered anyway, because London, and no car of my own since I've been living here. I am piqued by this driving thing tho: other posters in other threads say that they were driving almost immediately and without problems. While, tbh, I'd rather not have a safety belt anywhere near me, post-op...

love, m.

xxx

[JoJo11]

Hi Mael,
Can I add a couple more things in the practical department.
I arranged to have my groceries delivered for a bit as was told not to drive or be a front seat passenger until completely healed-about four weeks; and not to carry anything heavy on that side. I also used a small silky cushion under my arm as the inside of my arm was very sensitive.
If you go home with drains in I think you should have someone with you, after one of my surgeries I had to go
back urgently as a drain blocked.
Good luck with your op, it won't be as painful as you might expect.
Jojo

[jillybee]

I was sooooo scared before my first op,a WLE some 15 years ago,that took a bottle of red wine in,the night before....this is when you had your pre op assesment on the ward.I actually went home that night,returning in the morning.After the op,I was totally fine ...chatting for England,and ever since then,I have never been afraid of surgery.

[mael]

Btw I agree wholeheartedly that the mental anguish is the very worst. Ok, I haven't had any treatment yet, but my brain has already sent me to hell quite a few times 😞

Sigh! Is your anguish assuaged now?

xxx, m.

[mael]

Thank you Kim, again, seems that everyone has a different point of view on the thing... I will have to try and figure out. I understand that the potential danger of lymphedema comes from snb? Or from radiations? Or both? There's a tiny chance I may get away without radiations but tbh I'd be staggered, everyone I know has had to have radio.

I am happy to read that you recovered without major impedment. Bring it on! I'd rather much being forced to not looking at a surgical wound than being forced to not looking at a cancer. I am supposed to receive a date next week. Can't wait... I am actually happy to have an operation, such is my exasperation of living with a diseased boob. 

Take care! love, mael

xxx

ps the other post is signed mael67 because cat on keyboard. He clearly wanted a piece of the action.

[Jobey68]

Mael, I'm 8 weeks on from surgery and have had no ill effects from SNB and I didn't do any of the exercises I must confess 😳 I've had no issues with my arm or shoulder and am now having rads and have full range of movements just fine, been cutting down trees and shrubs in the garden all afternoon with hubby! none of it is as bad as you think. It's the mental anguish that has caused me problems, the physical side of it all had been a doddle! Xx Jo

[mael]

Thank you Kitt and Sharon -- I will have to check carefully the informations available. I don't want lymphoedema, or whatever it's spelt... Annoying to have snb, but I can't quite avoid it. I care more about my lymph nodes than my boob tbh. I've asked my nurse if there were long term consequences to snb and she said no, that I would have been just a bit stiff and in need of exercise in the affected arm (which, even more annoyingly, it's on my dominant side, the left, so it'd better stay in good shape). Maybe she didn't want to scare me? I hope she hasn't omitted any more scary stuff... O_O

love, xxx

mael67 

[13gerbera]

Yup, the advice is to avoid hair removal cream/manual razor on the treated side for ever more to avoid the risk of lymphodema (not entirely sure how to spell that, oops!) but I know some people use a manual razor and are just very careful.  Worth reading the guidance on lymphodema that's on this site too as it seems lots of ladies aren't made aware of the lifetime risk and how to protect themselves and, like you and KittKatt, I think there is no such thing as being too well informed 

xx

Sharon

EDIT: Just checked the advice on this website (leaflet called Reducing the risk of Lymphodema) and it says electric razor is recommended, depilatory cream is OK with caution, but not waxing.  I attended a BCC course recently which included managing lymphodema thing and how to avoid it and was surprised that lots of other women in the group hadn't been told of the potential risk.  Not trying to frighten you or anything but every little bit of information helps.

[Kittkatt]

Again, lots of differences - I took my stockings off when I got dressed to go home and only advice was that I kept them to wear on long flights due to slight risk of blood clots on Tamoxifen. Apart from during radiotherapy, not told to not use razors although 3 months after finishing rads that armpit is virtually hairless anyway. Well that's 5 seconds saved in the shower of a morning! 😊
Kitt
X

[mael]

Thank you Sharon!

One thing -- no normal razor or cream? Never again... ? O_O I can live with that, mind... it's just that I thought that when it's done and healed, then it's normal again (I know that this would be long after radio anyway).

Compression stockings, urgh, annoying. It's night and day? Oh well, I guess better annoyed than dead...!

love, mael 🙂

xxxx

[13gerbera]

I'm fully recovered from surgery and radiation now and I'd STILL like one of those collars, they're the business! 

Other bits that the lovely ladies on here told me about that were helpful immediately after surgery:

-lip balm & throat sweets as throat/lips can be a bit sore from the intubation during surgery

-support stockings which you are supposed to wear for at least a fortnight after surgery. Hospital provided one pair but a spare is useful for when they are in the wash

-electric razor so that when your underarm is healed you can shave it always assuming you want to (mustn't use creams or normal razor again)

- wet wipes and/or ultra soft flannels with Simple soap or equivalent for washing around incision areas 

xx

Sharon

[mael]

It's one of the main take-away info in this thread, for me, the chocolate stock. Believe it or not, despite being the proficient (some would say OCD... xD) planner that I am, it hadn't occurred to me to stash the chocolate. It shall be catered for asap, Kitt!

xxx, mael

[Kittkatt]

Just as long as there's a pocket for a small piece of very good chocolate, I'd be happy!
Kitt
Xx

[mael]

ALOL, Kitt -- smelling of lavender as well?

(gosh, I am _actually_ laughing xD)

xxxx, mael

[Kittkatt]

Ha ha! I can see this being a profitable sideline for you, Mael! Boob-blinkers!!!
Kitt
X
ps - and since you ask .... blue poo too!😜

[mael]

😄 Thank you Kitt and June... no, nobody mentioned me blue pee... lol. What else am I missing? White of the eye turning green? Magnetic hands? Superpowers? Now, that would be a nice side effect xD

All this is so unknown to me. I am pleased that, despite the variety of experiences related, no one seems to have suffered in the extreme. I am pretty sure I am still lacking some important details -- the bra thing, for example, I had vaguely sussed it out but I didn't know it was recommended, till now. I am going for a compression bra so I can chuck it away without remorse when it's all over. I don't want to keep objects related to this period of my life.

June, thank you for relating your story (and for the responses about Tamoxifen in the other thread). You've been taken care of rather wonderfully; sadly I can't afford such luxury, nor I have the social fabric in place. To put it curtly, I would have no one available to come and stay over for more than a night or two, and I would grow tired of my cousin pretty soon (he's a he, and we shared a flat when we emigrated, and think we've both had enough). 

I shall pack my boob in bra and t-shirt as soon as I can after the operation, and avoid looking at it at all costs. Maybe I should consider something in this style.

love, mael xxxx

[Kittkatt]

Just shows how different we can be - my internal stitches were steristripped then a large dressing which I took off to shower the next day. The steristrips were removed by my surgeon at clinic the following week and although multicoloured bruises, my scar was very neat and no dent. I just wore non-wired sports bras, nothing special. I do wish I'd put it on when I first changed into my pyjamas post op - I was back and forward to the loo (take it you've been warned about the bright blue pee?!😳😳) supporting myself and didn't put my bra on until I was changing into normal clothes to go home - instantly more comfortable!
I did have a really good blub in recovery ... first thing I did on waking up was to feel my boob and the normality of it was just such a relief!
You sound very much like me - information is king! When it came time for my radiotherapy I found a couple of ladies on here who were a few weeks ahead of me at the same centre and I found that so helpful to know exactly what to expect.
Hugs,
Kitt
X

[catchpole]

d Mael im giving you advice again, As i said previously i live alone and after my lumpdectomy i stayed round a friends for first night, her and her husband looked after me well, and next day another friend took me home, stayed evening, said could have gone and stayed at hers, but i said no i was fine,  I had district nurse pop in and check my dressing i still had a drain that was a pain but had it couple days,  Another friend came round on the sat following and spent all day with me,cooked me meals etc. and would have stayed the night too but i said fine, I was then by myself, did go to evening meal tea at friends on the sun  but after that  they all kept careful eye  on me and i knew could contact anytime if neeed them.  My local surgery took out my stitches and removed dressings,  I would say you do need someone to keep an eye out for you, i think id have felt a bit lost and down without my friends attentions. You might be feeling a bit down so definitely let the cousin pop round if she will,  june 

[mael]

Oh. My. God. Sharon, NO BANDAGES? Oh, poor you, this must have been a bad blow. *hugs* Thanks $deity it came back to normal! I absolutely need to not see then. I had a look at the thing last time two weeks ago in the toilet of a train. A really bad idea, it was. Really bad. After the operation, surely it will be worse even.

I have to be honest, no one has mentioned bras to me so far (it's true that I haven't had the pre-op yet). I have no idea what a compression bra is. I shall google now.

Thanks a lot Sharon, all this is precious to me. Nothing is as scary as what one doesn't know.

xxxx, love, 

mael

[mael]

Thanks Kitt and Sharon! As an essentially anxious person, I've managed to go places and doing daunting things only by researching stuff and thoughtfully planning ahead, and you've no idea how knowing this details makes me feel empowered and reassured. I am a trooper but I am not going to take the tube home tho! 😄 Just after surgery, that takes guts, kudos!

My history is somewhat tube-related already, as I was punched or elbowed really bad at rush hour in Westminster Stn, and after a few days I went to an UCC to be seen, because I was in pain, supposedly for the trauma. Little I knew they were going to discover a dodgy lump 😞  I think a cab will suffice to go home...

I am going to follow Kitt's strategy. If sleeping on my stomach is a no-no, then, building a frame of pillows to sleep on the non-op side should do. I'll probably need a few more than I own, but it's still less expense and bulk than buying a recliner, and once covered with a pillowcase they will lose their identity of "pillows I bought because of the cancer op" and will be good for normal, unencumbered-by-bad-memories service.

I can't wait. I've already a ton o'books and boxsets in storage, to prevent my mind from wandering while I recover. I am sure I will feel much more calm and in control once the lump is gone. Or at least I hope so.

love, xxxx

mael

[13gerbera]

Just thought of something else Mael that I wish I'd known before surgery.  I had almost no dressings on my incisions (just some of those paper steristrips and surgical glue) so I had a peek at the damage a couple of hours after the surgery and totally freaked out - it looked AWFUL, like someone had chopped a huge slice out of a pie leaving an enormous dent! I wish I'd been told to expect that and that it heals within a few days because I thought that it was a permanent thing and spent the night in hospital sobbing.  Now, 3 months post-surgery, it looks like a normal boob again so all that angst was for nothing!

I'm assuming that your BCN has advised you to get some decent compression bras to help keep everything together while it heals?

xx

Sharon

[13gerbera]

Hi Mael,

I couldn't sleep on the treated side for several weeks afterwards so slept on my back or the other side.  I don't think sleeping on your tummy would be possible either as it would squash your boob which will be a bit tender. It's not so much that it's painful, just uncomfortable and I worried about it pulling on the incisions which were stuck together with surgical glue for a fortnight.  You've reminded me that I bought one of those 'V' shaped pillow that nursing mums use and that was helpful for sleeping/just lazing around as it meant I could rest the arm on the treated side on it.  I got it via Amazon, with a pillowcase included and it wasn't expensive so that might be something to think about.

My surgery was done fairly late in the afternoon and my sister was going to meet me at 11ish at the hospital the next morning to travel home with me but I was able to leave at 7ish so travelled home on my own on the London tube without any problems.  I was seriously astonished at how well I felt and my Breast Care Nurse had said that it would have been safe to travel home on the tube even if I'd left on the same day as the surgery.  

xx

Sharon

[Kittkatt]

Hi Mael,
Having had 2 previous shoulder surgeries, I already had my sleeping position figured out - normal flattish pillow under my head and 2 fairly fat ones vertically down the bed. I can't sleep on my back so I was then able to lie on my left (right boob surgery) resting my arm across the pillow instead of across my boob. The pillow behind my back then stopped me from rolling onto my sore side in the night.
I doubt you'll feel comfortable right over on your tummy for a wee while.
Kitt
X

[mael]

Sharon, thank you for sharing the positive experience! I thought it was much harder than this (and yes, I am having too lumpectomy + snb). Great tip that of moving stuff to kitchen counter level, I hadn't thought of that, but I am definitely going to do it. 

I am going to sound silly, and I hope you don't mind me asking, but... in which position did you sleep after the op? I can fall asleep only on my stomach or side, unless I am extremely knackered or ill, in which case I still prefer sleeping in a sitting position. Is it possible to lie on your tummy after the op? For some reason this concerns me, I know it's stupid but if it's an issue I'd rather plan ahead, and possibly buy more pillows or a recliner. If it's not an issue then great, I don't need more stuff in my bedroom.

I am more concerned for the practical aspects of the things. Even if it hurts, it will be nothing compared to the relief of having this thing festering in my chest removed. As long as I manage to stay relaxed and not freaking out about receiving the results two weeks after (I am already freaking out a bit for the pre op assessment, I confess, always freaking out when I need to receive an outcome, it's like I were to be sentenced by a mean tribunal for a crime I didn't commit), I should be totally ok, on my own or with the cousin and the cats.

Hugs, xxx

mael

[13gerbera]

Hi Mael,

I also had a lumpectomy and SNB, live on my own and have a cat who uses my boobs as a pillow   I asked to stay overnight at the hospital as I'd never had surgery before and didn't know how I would react to the anaesthetic or how I would feel.  In fact I could easily have come home the same day as I was absolutely fine and up and about just a couple of hours after the surgery.  It's much less debilitating than you would imagine and I had no pain at all, just a bit of discomfort after a few days and nothing more than I get when I've been a bit over-zealous with the exercise DVD (and I'm by no means an exercise freak, more a reluctant occasional mover)

I stocked the fridge with ready meals and moved the essential things (fresh coffee, chocolate supplies) down from shelves to kitchen counter level so that I wouldn't have to reach up at all because I thought that might be a problem and it did help, but other than that there were no special preparations that I made.  I did run round with a vacuum cleaner and change the bedlinen the day before I went into hospital but I decided everything else could wait until I felt well enough to tackle it post-surgery.  I was able to do everything I normally would within a few days.  I know it is much harder for people who have longer/more complex surgery and the anaesthetic can affect people in different ways but just wanted to reassure you that it isn't as bad as you probably imagine.  A few days snoozing on the couch with a good boxset and a supply of chocolate seemed to help the healing.

Hope all goes well

xx

Sharon

[mael]

Uhmm, ok, Kittkatt, I stand corrected. I admit I am very ignorant about ops and stuff, and I have the stomach of a concrete elephant so I can't really see myself being unable to eat or drink... but if they menace to not let me home, ok, I shall ask the cousin to come round, better safe than in hospital 😄

xxx, mael

[Kittkatt]

Hi Mael,
Don't underestimate the possible effects of an anaesthetic... the hospital won't. They will want to know you are keeping food and drink down and I really don't think they'd let you home alone so best just accept you might need someone with you that night. It's the lesser of 2 evils compared to a night in hospital if you have the option😘.
Hugs,
Kitt
X

[mael]

Hi Kittkatt, thank you for sharing! I am incredibly relieved that I won't probably need to spend the night. I have vasovagal syndrome (I call it my fainting goat syndrome) triggered by sights and smells, so an hospital is a minefield for me. I am used to it after a lifetime, and I know what to do when I can feel it coming but I'd rather avoid the triggers altogether since the attacks are very painful. Since my tumour is close to the skin, I am already avoiding looking at my boob -- I dress with my eyes closed and I bathe with the lights off. I understand that I will be heavily bandaged anyway after the op, so that shouldn't be a problem and even if it's a problem I don't care, I want to get rid of the thing asap. 

From your description it seems almost a walk in the park and it's hugely reassuring to read that you would have been able to care for the cats had it been needed. I am not too worried about coming home, I'll take a cab or an Uber. I am not worried either about the effects of the anesthetic -- if I don't eat I can't vomit, correct? As long as I manage to keep my nerves at bay I should be allright. 

How are you doing these days? How's the recovery going? xxxx, mael

[Kittkatt]

Hi Mael,
The main thing will be to have someone to take you home and stay overnight at least the first night with you. Most lumpectomies are done as day cases but they wouldn't want you to be alone straight after an anaesthetic in the very unlikely event that you are unwell.
I do have my husband but he's the world's worst cook and I didn't want to live on takeaway so I cooked and froze meals in advance although actually, as long as I'd had the ingredients, I think I could have cooked from fresh from the first day. I was driving from day 4 without a problem.
We have 4 crazy cats and there was no part of looking after them that I couldn't have managed. My armpit was quite sore (SNB done through the same wound as lumpectomy so a bit swollen from the rummaging around!) - was sent home with co-codamol and diclofenac which I took regularly for the first couple of days then just paracetamol for another few. Can't say I'd have fancied doing much housework for the first few days but it was ok just taken gently after that.
You definitely shouldn't be bed-ridden but you will be tired and will probably find that regular short walks will help your recovery.
I hope it all goes as well as mine did and do ask anything else you're not sure about.
Hugs,
Kitt
X

[mael]

Thank you so much Jillybee, it's hugely reassuring to know that I will be able to amble around. I probably won't need anything else than a full fridge, ibuprofen and... yes, chocolate is a nice thought. 

I am a bit worried for the habit of the cats to stomp onto my chest when I lie down at night, I wonder if I'll be able to sleep on my stomach like I often do? Oh well, we shall see soon enough. 

I am 44 yrs old so unentitled to carers etc. but in fact I'd find that very unsettling anyway, so I'll just give the keys to my cousin and tell him to just keep an eye open for me. 

Unusually for me, I am not worried right now: I just want to get rid of this timebomb strapped to my chest so I can't wait to have the operation. Sadly, I know I'll start freaking out really badly when it'll be time to know the outcome of it. I feel already the preemptive anxiety --I need a way to not let it hinder my recovery, I need to figure out something.

Thank you again Jillybee xxxx

[jillybee]

Just ensure you have paracetomol in....you will continue to be mobile,use stairs,open doors.The hospital would like some one with you as you would have had an anaesthetic and may feel a bit wobbly.
Get food in,by all means,but maybe get an agency carer in for 24 hours.If you are old enough,AgeUK may be able to help as well.
How are you getting home from the hospital?
You won't be bed ridden.....in fact,you are encouraged to move around as much as possible.
You will be given advice re:dos and donts from the Breast Care Nurses.A cleaner is a good idea,and again,someone to keep an eye on you and your cats.
You will be surprised how well you will feel....I have had several operations on the breast,each time I am out the same day.I am lucky,my husband looks after me.
No point saying don't worry,you do......but am sure you will be fine......just get lots of chocolate in....a nice treat.
Hope goes alright for you.

[mael]

I am due for a lumpectomy sometime soon (a date has not fixed yet but should be before the 10th of June).

I live alone -- well, with two feisty cats -- and I've been recommended to have someone staying over for the first days after surgery. This is a bit difficult for me, because I have little in terms of family, and my close friends mostly live elsewhere. Plus, and this is a big plus, in fact when I am sick/debilitated I much, much want to be alone. I could possibly ask a cousin to come round but I'd much rather not to.

What should I expect, and how should I provide in practical terms? I am thinking of hiring a cleaner for a few weeks and a cat sitter for a few days. Will I be able to go downstairs to open the door or may I expect to be bedridden? Should I stock the fridge? Buy a ton of painkillers? I hope these don't sound as silly questions; all the info I've found over the internet refer only to recovery times to go back to work (usually put at one to two weeks) and there's little info about menial survival tasks. I've never ever had surgery so for me it's all a big unknown.