Hope all goes well for you Mel
Lots of us are thinking about you, Mel66.
Gentle hugs, Jo x
I had my reconstruction, immediate diep in late march and everything you've said I felt too, except perhaps for the squeashmishness! But I am a huge hospital/ being made to rest phobe and I had to face that. I would guess anyone going for this op feels the same. I certainly didn't know what part I was most worried about most of the time prior to the op, but the reality was copeable with.
the drains are annoying rather than painful I found, I took one of my small , glamorous handbags in, which once I was down to one, within 2 days I could pop it in and really with careful clothing noone knew. I adapted one or two of my husbands shirts for night shirts, big and not too girly for me! I didn't like looking at the drain 'output' either so it lived in the bag and tbh the tubing went clear quite quickly.
it is a big surgery for sure, but I was ok to come home after 3 nights with a drain, I was very very tired but felt better at home and it was quieter than hospital even with our 4 kids... just make sure you rope in help, one of my good friends would just appear to blowdry my hair or give me a manicure etc and that was as welcome as all the other more pratical things. Hopefully you've got some support too.
The new boob is a big thing to come to terms with but I just took it steady, looked at it little by little ( a tip from a friend's mum who had one of the first LD flaps a long time ago 15 years or so I think!) and gradually its less odd, still a bit of a headmess how on earth they do it.
Keeping busy helped me too before, but I think how you feel now is a normal, sensible reaction to a massive event and any woman who has been there, completely understands. Deep breaths
I'm booked in for mastectomy, LD reconstruction and ANC on tues 8th July. I've been coping ever since diagnosis by thinking about the practicalities and then trying to push it to the back of my mind but now that the date is almost upon me my head's in a mess.
Firstly, I'm terrified of the surgery, the extent of it, the length of time it's going to take and how I'm going to feel when I come round. My logical brain keeps reminding myself that I was terrified of the SNB but it was ok in the end.
Secondly, I'm squeamish about anything surgical and the thought of having drains attached to me for days fills me with complete dread.
Thirdly, I'm also afraid about how I'm going to feel about my new boob. Will it feel like an alien being? I know it's not going to feel like my breast... how long will it take before I will mentally accept the reconstruction as the new 'normal'?
I've been given some diazepam to take, both the night before and on waking on the morning of my surgery and I'm hoping that will help to get me down to theatre without having a complete nervous breakdown but at the moment the reality of it all keeps hitting me like a tsunami! I can't believe it's happening. I just want to wake up and find it's all been a horrible nightmare!