I’m booked in for mastectomy, LD reconstruction and ANC on tues 8th July. I’ve been coping ever since diagnosis by thinking about the practicalities and then trying to push it to the back of my mind but now that the date is almost upon me my head’s in a mess.
Firstly, I’m terrified of the surgery, the extent of it, the length of time it’s going to take and how I’m going to feel when I come round. My logical brain keeps reminding myself that I was terrified of the SNB but it was ok in the end.
Secondly, I’m squeamish about anything surgical and the thought of having drains attached to me for days fills me with complete dread.
Thirdly, I’m also afraid about how I’m going to feel about my new boob. Will it feel like an alien being? I know it’s not going to feel like my breast… how long will it take before I will mentally accept the reconstruction as the new ‘normal’?
I’ve been given some diazepam to take, both the night before and on waking on the morning of my surgery and I’m hoping that will help to get me down to theatre without having a complete nervous breakdown but at the moment the reality of it all keeps hitting me like a tsunami! I can’t believe it’s happening. I just want to wake up and find it’s all been a horrible nightmare!
I know what you mean I was dx end of Jan but had chemo first, and now coming towards surgery (next month) and am already fretting about it. I think that is very normal, and you sound like you are doing what you can to help you cope with the sedatives. Having not got that far yet all I can suggest is try and keep busy till the day. It will take time to adjust. You might benefit from seeing a counselor too, even if just for a couple of sessions to talk through how you are feeling and help you come to terms with things.
Hi Mel,
Ive just had the same as you a few weeks ago, yes I was scared too but once you’re there and in their hands i just went with the flow, it will be over before you know it! I felt groggy afterwards but the next day I was up and walking around went downstairs to buy crisps! The drains really arent that bad I went home with mine and I hardly noticed they were there after a few days, the lovely ladies from the WRVS made some cloth bags at my hospital so I just put them in there! i even went out walking with them and went to the shops!
On the boob they can work miracles I’ve still got the same skin and it feels great and really doesnt look any different. Good luck Mel I will be thinking of you tomorrow lots of love Emma xx
Had surgery yesterday. 11 hours in theatre. Came round with 5 drains in place. Feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus and glad of the morphine pump but initial peeks at new boob looks amazing!
I am so pleased for you. I had a similar length of surgery. Don’t underestimate the amount of time that amount of anaesthetic takes to recover from.
Somebody told me that it can take a week per hour of anaesthetic.i never would have believed them before but I surely do now!
X
Had a really bad day yesterday. Severe pain, swelling & vomiting. Much better today. Catheter is finally out and I’m sat up in a chair. Still anaemic which probably isn’t helping the energy levels much. Got 5 drains in… not sure when they’re going to start to come out.
However… the pain is being managed with tablets and I’m off the morphine now, I’m mobile, my hair’s brushed and I’m starting to feel human again. Onwards and upwards.
