Hi
I'm just coming to the end of six sessions of TCHP (with Zoledronic Acid) .... we seem to be in the minority, don't we ..... and yes, I was also warned it is the pits in terms of chemo (by the oncologist). The layman thinks that all chemo is the same and I haven't found it helpful hearing about people living normally through their chemo, working, exercising .... different regimes do different things and TCHP is a toughie. My chemo nurse tells me this every time. I have felt daunted from time to time and not wanted to go on with chemo but I think we all feel that at times ..... it IS brutal. Loss of hair, dignity, sense of yourself, it asks a lot of us and our loved ones.
I am mid fifties and previously very fit and active and have found it hardest dealing with tiredness and chemo brain fog and being totally unable to concentrate on anything..... I had to stop work which was heatbreaking for me (I love my job) and it has felt like a long haul .... but I have been relentless in taking all the medication prescribed prior to and after each chemo cycle and I think this has helped with nausea and etc though some ladies have a rough ride. I have had a regular bout of ghastly diarrhoea for a day or two a week post chemo but this has been controllable by great drugs which were prescribed with the treatment. I had a very sore mouth which I was given mouthwash for - ask for it! Also lots of acid stomach which for I was prescribed Omaprazole which was fantastic - made a complete difference to painful swallowing (pain in gullet). I had an itchy sore skin/acne type reaction after the second cycle (very uncomfy) so the onco dialled down the Taxotere which really helped. One of the worst things is your taste buds go on strike so for a period everything tastes like soggy cardboard, it is foul! So it's hard to eat ..... I found crumpets with marmalade worked when I couldn't stomach anything else. It is really really odd when your favourite foods and things you crave taste utterly vile when you try them and it's a case of trial and error .... I love a good cup of tea but even that tasted funky which was upsetting as it is my comfort a big mug of strong tea..... but it does come back to normal after a week or so, I promise. I have only just developed a little bit of peripheral neuropathy (needles in feet and hands) but will tell onco before the final chemo so may have carboplatin or taxotere dialled down a bit again. I have sometimes been a bit breathless and always feel cold (lots of hotwater bottles)..... I am told often that effects are so individual ... I felt really pathetic as so many ladies seemed so capable through their chemo but different chemos also do different things. My nails are sore (finger and toes) and I have black big toenails which will come off and which I took care to keep clean so no infections. The hardest was the tiredness and not being able to do things, just flop in bed and around the house which I found mentally really difficult and has meant I have lost a lot of (my usual) confidence .... but ALL these things I am told are normal ... chemo messes with everything not just our bodies. Lots of people told me to binge watch TV and just enjoy the downtime but I really havent been able to do that; being at home without energy is hard for me but I am conscious that I have had an easy ride compared to some. Losing my hair and now my eyelashes has been very very hard - I didn't think I was a vain person but my long, thick hair and long black lashes were my sort of signature (I'm a 'natural' look lady, no make up as my hair and lashes I felt were enough to carry me through really) and was always told I looked young for my age .... I feel aged but am told it is only temporary (we are being poisoned after all) .. but I also have two wigs and lots of bandanas and have learnt to use eyeliner for the odd times I have to face the world and feel I need to feel more normal
......Hoping my honesty is okay ..... TCHP IS OKAY. Like my haematologist nephew says ..... chemo is horrid but cancer is horrider. And you are not alone .... we are all here doing this thing with you and holding your hand. I'm nearly there and I'm a wimp .... so you can do it 🙂 xxxx
