what great news Janey. I have been thinking about you all day and kept checking in on here to see if you had posted.
At last a start for you and everything else is clear like me.
Wonder why I am having surgery first then chemo and you are having chemo first?
Still at least we are moving forward at last. I cant join you on your chemo trip then, as mine will be more like april now, 6 weeks or so after surgery, but I will still read whatever you post because will help me in the future.
good luck with everything, take care and keep in touch - Val xxxxxxxx
Thank you Val and Shelley, I have had my results of scans today and my ct scan was clear and heart scan looked good, I am so relieved! I was convinced the back pain I have had for ages must be due to spread of the cancer but she said nothing showed up on the scan and thinks it could be a disc problem in my back. I am so happy to get some good news at last.
I go for my visit to the chemo ward on 3rd March and will also see someone about choosing a wig then as well and then have my first chemo on 4th March. I am still terrified of the chemo but really pleased to be starting treatment. After chemo I will have surgery and then tamoxifen so a long road ahead for me too.
There is a thread on the just diagnosed board called 'diagnosed in February' that I am going to join and I have joined the 'chemo in March' board too. Please keep in touch and let me know how things are going. Hugs, Janey xxx
Hi Val, that is amazing news! I am so pleased for you. I have been thinking about you all day today and praying for good news for you. You can now move forward with treatment and gid rid of it for good. I hope I will have good news to share as well on Friday but not feeling very hopeful at the moment but nothing I can do except wait. I hope you have a lovely restful sleep tonight. I will let you know my results on Friday and then hopefully we can move on with this together. Hugs to you. Janey xxxx
Hi all and especially Janey....
WELL some GOOD NEWS at last. Been back for results of all scans and apart from a bit of backbone degeneration (nothing to worry about) which is to be expected as I am 56 - NO MORE TUMOURS ANYWHERE TO BE SEEN...... What a relief that was to be told that today - the first piece of good news we have had in the last month as it just got worse and worse. It just feels as if a great weight has been lifted off our shoulders. NOW we know what is going to happen and in what order - Mastectomy on 10th March, followed by chemo 6 weeks or so later, and also most probably hormone treatment as the cancer is oestrogen fed. SO a long road ahead of us but it is curable and most importantly doable. I may even get some sleep tonight, that has really been in short supply lately I can tell you.
Janey - good luck for Friday, I hope your news is as good as mine then we can move forward and rid ourselves of this awful disease and get back to normality. Happy to help you in any way I can. Take Care and let me know asap Friday.
Wishing you every good wish, Val
thanks, I know what u mean about the phone etc. I am ok - just two more days till I get final results of everything I hope.
Re: Wig appointment - just found one and made appointment. I phoned them and they told me to ask hospital to give me a referral and then can use National Health Voucher towards a wig. I will do that on Monday. TBH not bothered about cost, I just want a really good one and help with fitting etc. Also gonna get scarves and a fringe to put under them, cos I have such a high forehead I will look awful without one.
Just trying to be practical and get things sorted ready. Cut all my nails off too, had lovelyy nails. And getting hair cut really short on Thursday as weill be easier to look after, after the Op anyway and in readiness for losing later on. Surely short hair wont be so bad to lose.
I did meet an old aquaintance in the hopsital, she had a wig on and it looked absolutely fabulous and natural so there is hope. But I am sure they are hot and itchy and I will be going through it in the warmer weather.
I am worried about SO many things, its ridiculous. I am a really strong person, I am holding it together in the day. I am even managing to run the b and b normally......... But at night in the wee small hours, its a different story, just break down and cry for no reason, and dont really know why..........OH is being fantastic with that just cuddling me and saying the right things.
The preOp assessment went fine. They said to take bloods, but I had already done that on 9th Feb, wasnt on my records but was on computer - they were all fine and clear. I am fit and healthy (joke) well I was and always have been, only a few pounds over ideal weight, dont smoke - but must admit I have been having a couple more wines than usual lol - didnt tell them that as this is temporary. Trying to make myself sleep at night, which is really hard. It was before anyway, cos going through menopause and havent been sleeping and loads of hot flushes. At least no surprises there then when I get the same with the chemo.
Yes we are both moving forward - I cant wait now. BUT the recovery from the Op is a worry too - cant do much at all first couple of weeks, because of reconstruction more than the mastectomy. Quicker to heal without it, but cant face that thought I have had the physio/lymphoedema clinic too, telling me about the excercises etc and a follow up appointment for a group session 2 weeks after surgery lol. Not even deffo that I am having it yet. Makes me laugh. Also that theres a chance that lymphoedema could emerge in that arm antyime, now or forever in the future. Got to be careful of cuts etc so that dont happen.. So not everything is temporary is it?
Think they should keep you in hospital for a few days, rather than throw you out on the same day with drains in etc. Seems mad to me, I am 25miles away from hospital so thats worrying me too, if anything goes wrong. Also telling you to buy paracetemoland ibuprofen for the pain, since when have they been strong enough or any good even. I still have pain from the biopsies and that was 3 weeks ago fgs.
Right rant over, Another week and we will both know our outcomes.
You take care, have as good a weekend as you can, I will be having a few glasses........
hugs and love to you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Val, what an awful thing to happen to your duck, terrible at any time but especially now. Our family had a really bad year last year with one thing and another and I have certainly felt lately what have we done to deserve all of it and what else will be thrown at us.
I had my ct and heart scan yesterday but won't get results until next friday when I meet with the oncologist again. Every time the phone goes I panick in case they are ringing to say they have found something on the scans!
Did the hospital arrange a wig fitting for you or did you have to find one yourself? I have just ordered one online which is very similar to my own hairstyle but if the hospital arrange something for me I will maybe get another one.
You made me laugh about drawing on your eyebrows as I wouldn't know where to start and would definitely look like a clown. I am just going to have a longer fringe and hope no one notices!
Hope all went well with your pre op assessment and that bone scan is ok. Let me know when you know the results of everything. At least we are both moving forward and getting closer to treatment starting.
Hugs to you. Janey xxxxxxx
I know where you are coming from. We got up today and one of our large muscovy ducks was found half eaten - they are my other halfs pets, we only had two. I felt like shouting - anything else you want to chuck at us? come on? Other half so upset, crying.
Didnt sleep at all last night. Reading at 3 still awake all night.
CT scan went ok - but now worrying that I have late stage cancer and that it has spread everywhere fgs. The scan itself was ok so dont worry about that. I just worry about the outcome. Got pre op assessment tomorrow and lymphodaema physio. The bone scan Friday.
Back for results monday - I cant believe they will have bone scan results that quick???? still afarid they wont have all the information.
Made appointment for wig fitting and having all hair cut off in readiness next week.
To try to make you laugh - yesterday morning I pencilled in my eyebrows in brown lifted my fringe and said to OH - how do I look - bless him he said fine - I looked like a clown or a complere nutcase but we did laugh - did us good.
think i will open the wine tonight and got him some beer. Never drink midweek but this is acceptable in the cirucmstances.
Still trying to serve b and b to our guests and keep with it - its our only source of income now.
Hey Ho- big hugs to you keep in touch, let me know how your scans go too?
Hi Val, hope you are doing ok under the circumstances. I have had a complete meltdown today in front of my kids and feel so bad now. I hate making everyone so unhappy and not being able to do anything about it. I think it's because I have my ct and heart scan tomorrow and the stress just got too much. I hope your scans go ok, please let me know. Sending you hugs. Janey xxxx
Let me knoiw how all your scans etc go next week, we seem to be going through very similar things at the same time. Keep your chin up - yes I know easier said than done. I keep it together when around family and friends and then collapse in a heap of tears at home quite often. We have a long road yet I know.....
I does helpme greatly talking to people who are going through it too, it makes you feel that you are not quite so alone.
Hi Ros - I would like to get off too........At least they know what they are fighting now
Got all my appointments lined up this week. CT Scan Tues, Bone Scan Thurs and Docs, lymphodaema clinic friday and pre-op assessment friday then Monday meeting to discuss all results. Booked in for op week after you, IF they decide to do that first and not chemo. Will at least know by Monday - I hope.
I have been told I need chemo tooalready, and you havent - they all seem to work differently?
Are you having reconstruction at same time?
Dear Ros I was so hoping for better news from you. As you say, it could be worse. I'll be thinking about you on 4th when you have your op (((hugs))). What a rollercoaster we are all on 😞
Hi Janey and Newie,
Got my results too. At this stage they don't know if its in my lymph Invasive lobular grade 2 so the litle blighter could be worse.
Any way going to make slimmer of the week in a fortnight (4th March to be exact) as having a masectomy.
Then a fortnight later will know if I need chemo etc ...
Why is it always a fortnight ....
hugs to you both
This roller coaster is one I'd like to get off!
Oh Janey just saw this later thread. Not been keeping up to date at all. So sorry about your news. Very similar to mine then isnt it. Yeah its waiting for all these scans etc and not knowing if its Op first or chemo first. Reading awful things about chemo, looked at wigs online, not made appointement yet. BC nurse telling me its a minor operation and you are out in a day. Then reading you cant drive,hoover etc for 4-6 weeks, I run a B and B with my partner so this is going to be very hard for both of us. Him with extra work and me not being able to do the work,...........I have always been SO healthy, finding this hard to deal with. Try to stay strong, but weep too, it does help xxx
Hi Janey, got my CT scan next tues 17/2 waiting to hear about bone scan. I am too now worrying about everything but trying to be strong. Convinced I have bowel and stomach cancer as well. Decided I have been reading too much info. Not the forums they are great, but just generally and have decided to stop that now. Because not all these things will apply to me will they. Everyone is different.....I have got as far as life beyond the Op, the drugs, chemo, problems etc. Best to just get through each thing one at a time I think. Good luck for your results, keep in touch Val x
You must feel like crying, but having a diagnosis and more info from the scans to come puts you in a better position than before, because its something definite now to respond to, and treatment can start. Wishing you a good medical team, kindness of friends and family, a pause for thought and finding strength you didn't know you had.
I'm so sorry to hear your news Janey ((hugs)). You must be reeling. Try to keep positive, you can fight this thing! Rosie xx
Bad news for me, I have breast cancer and its in my lymph nodes. I've got to have lots of scans next week to see if its spread then chemo first before surgery. In shock right now. Good luck to those still waiting, hope you get better news. Janey xxxx
Can I butt into your circle ladies and join hands during this waiting game?
Good luck today Storm and sorry to hear your news Newey but at least you know what you are dealing with and you have a very positive attitude.
I had my biopsy yesterday for calcifications - hoping they are related to the cysts that they found and aspirated. I have bled quite a lot overnight but it seems to have stopped now, wish someone had told me to wear a black bra! Just have to keep busy until Wed when I get the results (by phone so at least I don't have to drive all the way to the clinic) but it is my son's 16th on Thursday so hoping we can really celebrate.
Seems this thread is becoming the lets hold hands and jump togther into this chasm. You unfortunately have hit the bottom first.
Janey and I find out tomorrow and then another on the 20th.
My OH is also being useless almost turning it on to himself with a pity me attitude - I have to go through this too you know!! GRRR!!
Have told my daughter's school as she has an options afternoon tomorrow when I get my results that was hard.
Told a couple of friends but not family yet. Need to know what my consultant meant by very sinister prepare forthe worst first .....
Like Janey ever twinge is secondary so today I am self diagnosing:
stomach cancer as more than the usual butterflie
bowel cancer as I'm sure this is more than wind
lung cancer as breathing is a little tough
bone cancer as I ache
brain cancer as my head is a shed .....
Let's see how they tackle that lot!!
Take care and good luck on this journey
Hi Newey, I'm so sorry you got bad news but your consultant sounds very positive so that is good. I hope you get good news from your scans and that you can start treatment soon and get rid of it for good. How soon do you go for your ct and bone scans? Have you posted in the newly diagnosed thread as you may get more information and support on there from people going through the same things.
I get my results tomorrow and am so terrified but prepared for the worst. I have spent the last 9 days in denial and disbelief that this may be happening to me and have now convinced myself that it will have spread to my bones due to the backache I have had for a long time that the gp thought was sciatica. I feel that today is the last day of my 'normal' life and from tomorrow things will never be the same again, I suppose that is how everyone feels. Please let me know how you are doing and know that I am thinking of you. Janey xxx
Oh well bad news for me today - 2 small cancer lumps found and in a couple of lymph nodes. Small boobs so have to have a masectomy and 6 months chemo. Feel better now I know what it is - can fight this and beat it and will do. Surgeon says outcome should be really good as its only a little problem lol Got bone scans and CT scans to go, and they need to find out if oestrogen fed or not. then i will know whether op first then chemo or chemo first and then op.
thank you so much for your reply Janey. Blimey how did you remain calm when telling family your news - I think I will just crumple - like I did all day yesterday, Couldnt even bare the thought of having the grandchildren today as I usually do, in case I looked at them and broke down.....they are only nearly 5 and have never seen nanny upset yet. Told their mum, my daughter in law why so she didnt think I was being off!
Had a better sleep last night, probably because I was exhausted and had a drink of wine. I could also lay on my tummy which is my usual position.
decided today I would get back to normal..... and showered and went shopping. Drove about 18miles to do it, shopped and had a McD;s as a treat...
TBH by the time I got home my arm was really aching and I felt a bit sorry for myself and did nothing else. Got quite a lot of bruising under the arm especially and all the lifting and driving was prob too much, Wondered how I would cope with a big operation, partner cooked dinner to help but it was awful lol. Told him If I did need looking after I would probably die of starvation before anything else lol. At least we had a laugh.
He got up to do breakfast today (we have a small bed and breakfast) and has had 2 naps since, is asleep now in fact. Think that is his way of coping, always is - just go to sleep. Oh how I wish I could just do that.
Well its Thursday evening - I havent cried today yet thank goodness. so thats an improvement.
Officially 3 and a half more days to wait for my results....................
Hi Newey47, I think clinics all have different timescales for giving results, I have to wait 10 days because they are going to discuss my results at a meeting the day before so it may be good news that you only have to wait until monday, at least the waiting will be over for you soon and fingers crossed you get good news.
My husband has been the same, telling people when I would rather keep it to myself for now. I have only told my mum and my children because I had to, they knew something was wrong as I have been so upset and so I told them the hospital thought it probably is cancer and that they are going to sort it out. I sounded so calm and collected when I told them but inside I felt sick with fear. I have just written myself a list of things I want to get done over the next week to try and keep myself busy until the 13th and keep myself off google!
Please let me know how you get on with your results. I will be thinking of you and hoping for good news. Even the strongest of people need support at times like these and I'm sure people on this forum will be that support for you, Janey xxxx
Hi Pandorra, thank you for replying. It has really helped me feel less alone with all this. Are your results to find out if you have breast cancer or have you already been diagnosed and awaiting treatment? I have had a worse day today and keep having to go off by myself for a little cry. I'm just so scared of what the future holds but I guess everyone on this forum feels like that. I hope you get good results on the 20th, please let me know how you get on. janey xxxx
Hi, I can sympanthise/empathise with you all. Had my ultrasound and core biopsies done yesterday afternoon, several areas of concern in left breast. I was fine while in there but collapsed in a heap when I came out. Been crying and crying and upset for ages. At least I only have to wait till Monday afternoon for my results. Not two weeks like some of you, or even more in some cases. Now worrying this is being pushed through quicker as there is a real problem that needs to be dealt with quickly. i.e. late stage cancer...... partner is being worse than useless he is more upset than me and telling people who I dont want to be told about it - YET - these waiting days are awful. I am one of lifes copers, I always help other people in times of stress and am usually a very strong positive person. Very hard to be like this now it is happening to me tbh, finding it really really hard........
Hi Janey, that is exactly how I felt, shocked but so strangely calm. Many people are amazed at how I am dealing with this but my belief is what will be will be and take all the support, treatment that will be offered. I have to wait until 20th Feb for my results, and I do have my moments where I hit the 'floor'. This is an amazing forum, we can all pull together here. Try and stay strong, deep breaths and keep the calmness around you. LOL xxxx
Hi Nimbus, thank you for your reply. I have been to the breast clinic today and it does not sound good for me. I had a mammo, ultrasound and biopsies taken and the consultant said I have a spiculated mass in my left breast and he is concerned. He said he cannot say for definite that it is breast cancer but it looks more likely to be than not. I have to go back on Friday 13th February for my biopsy results.
I am in shock but also feeling strangely calm about it all and know I should prepare for a definite diagnosis of breast cancer. The lady doing the ultrasound was also concerned about an area under my arm and did either a biopsy or put a needle in that area, I had my eyes closed at this point so was not entirely sure what she did. I am now dreading the news that it is breast cancer and has spread to my lymph nodes. Janey x
As well as the support you receive here do give the BCC helpline a call on 0808 800 6000. Here you can share your worries and concerns with a member of staff who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. Lines are open weekdays 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
I'm so sorry to hear you are having a tough time. It's awful trying to keep a lid on all those feelings. Best to have a rant and a good cry - and you've come to the right place because we have all felt something like that.
I hope that your experience at the Breast Clinic will bring peace of mind. I found the kindness and expertise of the staff really reassuring.
I don't know if I can express this in a way that will be helpful, but not all breast pain is as a result of cancer and not all cancer is a total wreck of your whole life. The most important thing is to have it investigated, diagnosed and a plan of treatment, whatever is at the bottom of it.
There will be lots of people here on here thinking positive thoughts for you Tuesday.
Hi, I found a swelling and lump in my left breast before Christmas and waited until after my period to see if it went away, it didn't. I went to the GP who said thought it felt like a small cyst as it was moveable and wanted me to wait another ten days to see if it went. I went back after ten days and it was a different gp I saw who said it again felt like a cyst but she would refer me to the breast clinic urgently. My appointment is this Tuesday 3rd Feb and I am so scared that I just feel like running away and not going. I have been worrying myself sick for weeks and now have pain under my arm and through to my back so am convincing myself it is breast cancer and has spread. I also have prominent veins on the breast with the lump and have read that it could mean a tumour is growing. I know that it could be just a cyst or hormonal, I am 51 and still having periods but think I must surely be approaching menopause sometime soon and it could be connected to that, but I also know it could be cancer and just feel so overwhelmed with thoughts that I have got it and am going to die. I just keep thinking about my children and am trying so hard to keep things together so that they don't notice anything is wrong but am not doing very well at that. My husband is not helping at all and telling my I am probably just being paranoid and to pull myself together so I feel I have no support at all from him and will attend the appointment alone. I have friends who have offered to come with me but it would mean them taking time off work and l don't want to ask them to do that. I feel like such a coward when I read the posts from women on here who have actually been diagnosed and seem to be coping so well and I am just a wreck at the moment. Janey x