Welcome to the forum & sorry to see you here, but I hope you've had a chance to look at the other threads, such as going through treatment, where there are others at the same stage as you or a bit further down the road.
Inevitably, we all have dark thoughts at some point, but the vast majority of us do get through it & get on with our lives
I didn't have a TN diagnosis, but I was chatting to a colleague the other day who had just got the 5 year all clear having had a TN diagnosis with all the usual treatment. She looks great, is working full time & I never knew.
Sadly there will be a few who dont make it, but this is not usual & your situation is not theirs. Treatment is getting better all the time & please remember current statistics are based on those diagnosed 10-20 years ago. A lot has happened since then.
Even though it feels scary at times, there is no reason not to be positive