No you are definitely NOT a pathetic lump lettuce, it's sounds like you've had a lot to cope with already so I'm not surprised you're feeling like you do. I too worry about everything, (especially mine and my families health). Like Tweedy said the waiting for appointments and results is the worse part and I personally don't feel that anything anyone says makes me feel better. But talking on here does as people understand what you're going through. Please come on here whenever you need to talk as you're not alone then. I completely understand all your thoughts and worries.
Take care and let us know how you get on.
Welcome to the forums. This must be very difficult time for you, I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime, maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer practical information as well as emotional support. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.
With best wishes