I have finished 7 x chemo and am in for my operation (left mastectomy and lymph node clearance) on 21st November. I am absolutely terrified, I was awake half the night worrying about it. When I think about having my breast removed I feel sick.
My nipple has to be removed too and I am just finding it difficult to bear the thought.
I have my pre op assessment tomorrow, can you recommend anything I should be asking as I’m sure I’ll just be sitting three like a rabbit in the headlights!
Just want to wish you the best of luck with the surgery.
I had a left masctectomy and lymph nodes removed just over six months ago. I also lost my nipple. It is awfully strange to lose that. I had hilarious thoughts of making t-shirts with arrows to my other nipple saying “I’m only smuggling one peanut”, if you know what I mean. Maybe you don’t, in which case I just sound demented. Woops!
Really wishing you the best of luck. I 'll be thinking of you.
For some reason, my mind draws a blank about questions to ask. I suppose, how long will you be in hospital for, will you have drains, and you could ask about post-op arm exercises and lymphodema?
I’m sorry, I’m bloody useless to you. I suppose at the time, I was just eager to remove the cancer asap and didn’t ask too many questions.
I wasn’t scared. The woman in the bed beside me who was also getting a mastectomy was terrified. The nurses gave her a tablet to have a good night’s sleep the night before and to help with the anxiety. Learning to drive is a far scarier experience than surgery for me. Go figure that?!
I had immediate recon. I wasn’t given the choice. I think it may have been to do with the fact that pre-op they believed my cancer wasn’t invasive and that I wouldn’t need chemo and rads.
I’m not getting my new nipple 'til after I’m finished treatment. I find the thought of having a fake nipple hilarious and having it tatooed.
I had very little pain after the op. It was really ok, all of it. Only weird bit for me was coming around after the op.
Don’t be scared, my love. Honestly the surgery is the easy bit compared to chemo. I had a left mastectomy and axilliary node clearance back in May. I also had a Becker implant at the same time, which they are inflating tomorrow. But the actual surgery is fine. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable, and I was up and about the following morning, doing my exercises. I had my appendix out a few years ago and that was much worse in terms of pain. You will have drains, which are a nuisance as you have to carry quite large bottles around in a bag, but that is all. I thought it would hurt when they came out, but it doesn’t. I was in hospital for a week, but others have done it in less. It is weird losing a breast (and nipple) but actually it is quite neat once done, and doesn’t look as dreadful as you mght think it is going to.
The pre-op assessment is a doddle - they ask you questions really rather than the other way around, and to be honest I don’t think they know too much about the specifics of the operation, as the questions are about your general health, allergies etc etc. It is a routine they go through for anyone having any surgery. You are probably better off asking your breast nurse any detailed questions, or the surgeon when they see you and go through it all for you to sign the consent form.
Oh, I forgot to say that the woman who was in the bed beside me who was very scared before surgery actually found it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.
Thanks so much, I’ll be the one quaking in my bed being given tranquilisers by the nurse! Hopefully not, the though of chemo absolutely terrified me too and I really didn’t find it that bad. I only got stressed and upset once during chemo and that was because my Dad died a week earlier.
So if that’s the worst bit over, then I’m sure I can cope with the operation. It’s more the physical side of it that terrifies me, living with one boob etc. But it’s not the worst thing that can happen and if it means the C is out of me then it can’t be all bad!
Deep breaths indeed. Don’t worry too much. While I was in hospital someone else had their operation postponed because they were so worried they shoved their blood pressure too high! So if you think it will help you, take something, or get them to give you something, to calm you down. But once that anaesthetic kicks in it is over in a moment for you, and the next thing you are comng round wondering if they have actually done it!
Hi Cecelia
I had the mastectomy in June this year.
I will be thinking of you on 21st. It is a big thing to get your head round but as you can see from the comments on the site it is just another thing to cope with. You have done the chemo and that is so much worse.
(I am on chemo number 5 on friday 9th and dreading that)
In preparation
Had a little party with OH to goodbye to my left breast the night before. To tell it how well it had fought ( WLE ten years ago) but now it was time to go. I think the farewell party helped us both a lot.
I was very unsure about the mastectomy as I found it so scary,no I was terrified as you say not the op but life afterwards, but asked the opinion of my six best friends. They all said have the mastectomy and be done with it. They and I coudn’t bear the worry of getting it again. Having said that it was still me that had to cope with it. My surgeon will consider a reconctruction after 12 months but not before.
Truth is, it is scary. It is scary to look down and see a fat stomach instead of a large breast, mind you if I didn’t have a large stomach you would see my large thighs so there is a silver cloud afer all.
The mastectomy scar isn’t horrific it is very neat and am quite used to it but there is the difference in clothes to think about in the future and I have chucked away the low tops. Not too soon some might say!
Try not to worry too much it is a big change but just another thing to get used to.
I have followed your threads through your chemo and will keep looking out to see how you get on.
Love
Karenx
I have finished 8 x chemo and am in for my operation (bilateral mastectomy, lymph node clearance and overies removed) on Thursday 8th Nov.
i’ll admitt i am getting a little nervous but at the end of the day at least the cancer will be cut out and another part of the treatment is over.
Like Dilys said do somthing to take your mind off it. I’ve been cleaning the house all morning and its made me feel quite normal again. I sould be home before you go in for your op so i will let you know how it goes.
Dilys you should be awarded with a Gold Star… your a Gem
Hi Cecelia
just to echo what others have said - you really will be fine. I had a mastectomy in july and was out in three days with drains removed. i have to have more surgery after chemo to have lymph nodes removed. i’m not looking forward to it but in my mind its definitely chemotherapy which is the biggest challenge. one thing i found very helpful was doing the meditation and visualisation day that the haven offers - i did it a couple of days before surgery and i’m sure it helped get my round it. i think you’ve mentioned the haven before in posts - perhaps you could and see if there is a day being offered near our surgery date? if not maybe you can book a session with someone? Good luck - you’ve weathered the really tough part of this I think.
Jo
xxx
Like others have said, you’ve done the worst bit, the chemo. I had my mastectomy first, so no time to dwell on it really. I think I was still in a state of shock over the diagnosis. I recovered quite well, just make sure you do all the exercises they give you. You will find the movement in your shoulder is quite restricted at first, but this will improve rapidly with exercise.
I too was upset at losing my nipple - stupidly I hadn’t realised I would until the pre-op assessment. However, you end up completely flat after the op (not like a man - they have man boobs, no matter how small) so a nipple on its own would look pretty silly! I was not offered immediate recon, they don’t do it where I live until after all treatment is over.
I also didn’t realise, until finding out for myself, that the whole chest area & much of the upper arm is numb after, due to nerve damage during surgery. It’s due to getting at the lymph nodes - a nerve running through the armpit is in the way. I am now eight months on from surgery, my arm is now OK, but my armpit and the area either side my scar is still numb. I don’t know if that is permanent or not. I don’t remember being told about this beforehand - maybe I was, and didn’t take it in.
I am now back to swimming twice a week (couldn’t during chemo), it’s really good exercise for the arm & shoulder.
Best wishes for your op, just think of it as an essential tool in the process of beating BC. At least with BC, the breast can be removed, unlike many other parts of the body where you can get cancer.
You will then be an official member of the ‘one-off club’.
xx
I am back from a very theraputic shopping trip to Oxford Street, but had to cut it short as I had a panic attack in H&M!! Still managed to get some peejays for hospital, a dress and a couple of other bits and pieces.
Thanks all for your encouraging words, I’ll be reading and re-reading before I go in. Jo, I will be calling the Haven, they have been great, and hopefully they’ll have something available for me next week.
Dilys, I agree! Gold Star for you…
Keep me posted Karen R if you are able to, I would love to hear how you get along.
Glad you managed some therapuetic shopping! Roadrunner is right about the numbness. I had forgotten that, but it still a bit weird. I have obviously got used to it. I did remember that for a few weeks, if I scratched under the missing boob, it tingled all down my left arm! Very odd. It passes, whatever.
No Gold Star! Just one foot at a time, but thanks anyway. Just remember I am always here for you. Which hospital are you at then?
I agree the best thing to do is to not worry too much.