Does anyone else find the waiting game hard to play? I was diagnosed 12 days ago and found out last week that my surgery is on the 16 th June. That means it will have been just over 6 weeks from my first routine mammogram to surgery. That seems pretty impressive and I am not complaining but the waiting is excruciating. I just want to get on with it, finding diversions to keep my mind together is getting tough; I’ve done everything around the house, I’m walking a lot,reading a lot and watching a lot of T.V - anything to help keep those dark thoughts and moods at bay. It seems that half the battle in keeping your mind together is knowing how to cope with THE WAITING…waiting to go for the ultrasound, waiting for the biopsy result, waiting to see your BCN nurse, waiting for surgery, pre-op, post-op results waiting, waiTing,waiting. It’s all driving me nuts…anyone got any suggestions or is it driving you crazy too?
Know what you mean, I amhaving op on 15th June. Luckly I am still in work, keeps me busy. The weekends are long. Just wish the time would go quicker
The waiting is horrendous love! I’ve been through it all and it almost drove me out of my mind, there is no easy answer, people will tell you to keep busy and not dwell but it’s impossible not to and although I went through the motions of every day life I had no interest in any of it, I just did what I had to do but I was in a really dark place until I got my final results after lumpectomy, like you I was dealt with really fast and had my op exactly 2 months from going to my doctors, I’m now on my last week of radiotherapy and feeling wonderful! You will get there love but the awful waiting is a process you have to go though and you will find everyone will say the same about how awful it is, but the minute I knew what I was dealing with it was like a switch flicked and I felt like me again, I hope knowing your not alone will help you xxx
Hi there
I’m just over a year since diagnosis and the waiting for anything to do with treatment doesn’t get any easier. I’ve come to the conclusion I am not a patient person. I am sitting here waiting for the phone to ring with my appointment for my herceptin injection tomorrow. The nurse who comes to the house doesn’t get her next day list until after five so you have to wait hoping they haven’t forgotten you. All that keeps going through my mind is that everyone seems to think stress is bad for cancer and all this waiting is very stressful. Hope all goes well for you.
Hi,
Yes what you say is so true, I too am waiting for my surgery on 11th June. I can see how the waiting will go on and on for sometime yet. So far the only way I have managed to cope is to concentrate on one step at a time, thinking too far ahead just makes me more anxious. It’s not easy and sometimes I think back to pre bc and realise I should have appreciated how good life was. One of my work colleagues is 5yrs post bc and said she remembers waiting every year for the next mammogram and now waits anxiously hoping the bc doesnt come back.
Luckily my work keeps me busy and it certainly helps take my mind of me for a while.
I guess we just have to find our own way to manage our time in best way we can. In the meantime I am determined to appreciate every day and make the most of my life. My family, friends, the countryside I live in, all seems so much more beautiful than it did before.
Hope all goes well for you
Sandra
Hi jennifer,
Yes we all felt that way, I found my lump just after Christmas, as a single person with no family i dont like Christmas anyway, had spent boxing day evening round a friends but next day found the lump. Its a most horrible feeling, ive always been fanatical about checking my breasts so it couldnt have been there long. Friends were good but all said o probably just a cyst but my doctor didnt think so and neither did i, She gor me appointment quickly and it came back cancer, i wasnt surprised, 2 friends cam with me to the biopsey result, very unfeeling surgeon, gave me worst case senario,then phoned me and wanted to chang op date, or nurse did to cr week later, Went to pieces my friend who luckily with me had to take over phone saying she didnt think id cope, i live alone etc. and im not at all paitent lol got it changed to week earlier,different surgeon ,much nicer. Turned out lumpdecomy only, no chemo, just rads which ive nearly finished, and on tamoxifen had clear margains and one suspect node so all taken, but all others clear, I can remember being in a very dark place you cant think ahead,at first i thought will i see summer. To cap it all my oldest friend who ive known since childhood, had ovarian cancer same time as me, totally out of blue. But glad to say she doing well now, we had lovely meal out last week together.Not many side effects with tamoxifen night sweats only and rads ok, bit sore today but only 2 more to go. So though you dont feel it now Jennifer if will get easier, as you get through, We will all have to live with having it and it will always be at back of minds, but people ive talked to who have had it say you get used to living with it. Thats all we can do. keep us posted. June
yes i know how you feel every minute of the day is agony even although waiting to see various medical people is quick it feels forever i can only say keep busy busy busy allthe best to you xxxxx
It’s now 13 days to my surgery and two weeks to results and treatment plan. I’m counting down the hours - wanting to get on with it but scared stiff I will have to go through chemo. This feels like the lost summer. My husband is showing the strain - he is getting very angry over silly things… I feel so bad about putting him through this - big impact on his life too.
My husband showing strain too.he is having to juggle work, my appointments and supporting elderly very frail mother who is not local.we are having to cancel nice things we had planned for summer and think he is feeling peed off about it too.Summer cancer of cancer treatment not what he had in mind.Working out how to get most of this site and catch up with people I have enjoyed talking to.If you add me as a friend you will know when I am on talking on other threads and vice versa.
Hi I’m 54. Had tender left breast and left arm for about 6 months. Had been to GP about it but was dismissed as ‘probably hormonal’ - even though I was on HRT. Went for my 3 year mammogram last month which was excruciating in left breast - and that worried me - so was not surprised to be recalled for further tests. The Ultrasound Radiologist said ‘yes definitely cancer, I’m surprised you can not feel the lump!’ and put her hand over mine to guide me. Still couldn’t feel it and she made me feel rather stupid and anxious. I dropped half a stone waiting for biopsy results which I received last week. I have a Grade 1, 1cm, ER+/PR+ (both 8) HER2 is equivocal so awaiting lumpectomy on 22nd June and results of FISH. Consultant was lovely and said he couldn’t feel my lump either and there was no way I would have! Hooray for Mammograms! Found this website great although the waiting around for results with people saying ‘be positive’ is driving me nuts!!
Hi ,I have no lump either would never have known ,feel free to join in the moaning and mild hysteria.I have my op on the 24th.You have a lot more info than me all Iknow so far is 15 mm tumour and grade2 invasive cancer.
Hi , I had no lump either, well I actually went to the dr with a lump which I was reffered for but it turned out to be fat, my cancer was only picked up by sheer chance during a biopsy on another lump discovered during ultra sound which yet again was benign but he caught a few cells hiding on the edge that hadn’t showed in mammogram or on US, I know this was because it was very early stages but to be told this could have taken years to have formed a lump and been picked up wasn’t very reassuring! Turned out to be just 4mm of grade 1 cells so I know I’m very fortunate but will have no faith in having a mammogram a year from now after having had two and nothing detected although something was lurking after all! Xx Jo
Hi everyone, I’m also finding it hard to handle this ‘endless’ waiting, it feels like forever and I just want to get on with it now and I’m glad I’m not the only one!!
My surgery is booked for 22nd June which will be 4 weeks from diagnosis but it still can’t come soon enough as I feel in limbo now that the family know what’s happening and cover at work is sorted, luckily I am fit and weel (apart from waking at the crack of dawn) that I will stay working until 19th June so can fill my day as usual. I have a holiday booked for 11th July so am keeping everything crossed that all is well after surgery so I can have some family time in the sun.
I know this is not how we would choose to make friends but if anyone would like to be-friend me I would be happy to have you as a buddy so we can kick BC’s arse together xx
ps a tip for the sleepless night … warm milk with Bailey’s, it’s working for me 
Hi Suzie,my sugery is booked for 24 th. , I
tying things up at work but finding it hard to concentrate.I have a holiday in this country booked for 13 th July and I am
also desperately hoping we can go so the whole summer is not spoilt.I am waking at 3 am which is a very lonely hour hard to carry on doing normal things but the alternative is to dwell on things I guess .Feel free to add me as a friend it has really helped me to talk to others in same situation.
Gin is also good…
Yes ,
you are one of my dedicated followers!
Had a "oh God I’m going to die day " today.Still managed to change the beds ,
do the washing and go to the shops though life has to go on.
Had another rubbish day today.Met a friend who has been lovely and supportive but she just kept asking me about all I had to have done medical appts etc and felt overwhelmed by it all ,just wanted her to shut up and to go home and cry .Now if she hadn’t asked me I would have been p**d off with her too so she couldn’t win .Felt like strangling the dog cos he wouldn’t stop barking ,doesn’t he know I’ve got cancer daft mutt…Tolerance very low today.Hopefully better day tomorrow still no appointment to see surgeon which is stressinge cos I want some support with the appt and people need to take time off work to come with me.
Enjoy your glass of wine!Thanks for the understanding words.Didnt strangle dog…
I’m finding it so difficult to get through day without being totally consumed by my diagnosis . My hips hurt, back, pelvis, head…convinced it spreading everywhere. My OH says but you had none of those symptoms prior to diagnosis…and yet I’m starting to question ‘did I, didn’t I?’. Does/did anyone feel like this, constantly yuk? Trying so hard to be positive but keep failing. Lumpectomy on 22nd.