Since
September last, and 5 years after the longed NED, I’ve been dealing with
depression and PSD. A number of things such us; investigation for possible
mets, finishing Tamoxifen and prophylactic bilateral oophorectomy, have caused
my steep fall into this murky waters. I’ve been off sick from work since then
and, being completely honest, I have no desire of returning. I don’t feel
I can’t work full time and, I can’t survive on a part time wages. I have chronic
fatigue, chemo brain and PSD. So far, nobody seems to care about the
devastating effects of the aftermaths of cancer. The unrealistic expectations
of employers, colleague and friends and, maybe my own, really puzzled me. I am
expected to come back to work with a phase return but, just the idea, makes me
sick to the chore. I find job quite tiring and stressful and, I don’t think I
can’t cope with those demands any more. I know that any kind of
adjustments they will make at my workplace, will be just a fantasy, expecting
me to go full throttle shortly after. The shits, the schedules, the waste of
time in the journey …… I just can’t face it. I’ve been working 6 days a week,
I’ve been doing 10 hours sifts and my employer has found completely normal to
place those demands on me, knowing my history. I am struggling with all of this and seriously thinking of
resigning.
I
guess I am not the only one in this situation so, pls ladies, tell me about
your experiences and how do you deal with it.
hello. i fully understand your feelings, i am just coming up to the 5 years and yes they have been a real struggle, i work 12 hour shifts and like you they expected me just to have a phased return and all would be tickity boo. my job is stressful ,days and nights doing 48 hrs straight off, i asked for help and it was not forth coming, after 3 years i was going down and down getting more tired and drained, i had to then make it a formal request to reduce my hours, which again my line manager rejected , i then decided to go to disabilities council for information and they were brilliant, telling me how to deal each with each step. it took me a whole year to fight it but in the end they had to conceed as it was seen as discrimination. yes i was worried and nervous how i could cope on a part time salary, but somehow it has been the best thing i have done and i am feeling so much more relaxed and coping alot better with everything . Like you i felt i was under pressure to resign .If you can take some advice do so , i think the wording was "they have a duty of care " to us. if you need to PM i will be only too happy .
take care.
Hugs Annie
Charhie is right. It sounds as though your employer is being discriminatory. The Equality and Human Rights Commission will be able to advise you of your rights and options.equalityhumanrights.com/
I’m just about to return to work 1 yer after surgery and it’ll be six months since end of treatment. I’m scared - also have quite a lot of effects still, but my employer has so far been great. I’m going back to a less strssful job nearer to home starting 2 short mornings per week. Wish me luck!
Please let us know how you get on.
I’m 8yrs post DX, I have struggled with Anxiety and depression for years, this was escalated enourmously by my DX, and subsequent surgery and treatment.
I returned to work 3mths after finishing treatment though I had another 4.5 yrs on Tamoxifen to go.
I had a very short time of phasing in before returning to normal hours, I have continued with these hoursand it has been a immense struggle, physically/mentally/emotionally, I had a very bad ‘down’ moment just recently, I have asked my employer if I could now do half days instead of full days as I find them too much, well I managed to get my hours down to 4 half days and one full day for 2wks and now discover I’ve been put back in for 2 full days and 3 half days, my full days can sometimes be 10hr days my half days can be up to 6hrs, I do not know how to explain myself anymore to my employer, she is not the most understanding, and is of the train of thought NED so ‘your ok’.
I have an appointment with my GP on Friday to discuss my latest ‘blip’…I have been on medication for my Anxiety and Depression for 8yrs this time.
I felt a little better when I knew I would be doing half days even though financially it was a struggle or would be a struggle I feel as I’m sure many of you do that health and happiness is more important.
Besides taking the drastic measure of my GP declaring me ‘unfit’ for work I do not know what to do, the majority of staff where I work are several years younger than me too and nice as they are bless them they don’t always undrstand, my employer can be very harsh at times and at previous times when I have mentioned feeling stressed etc., has replied ‘‘what have you got to be stressed about’’
I don’t think people always understand the mental/emotional longterm effects of cancer DX and treatment.
I hope you all manage to get things sorted.
I’ve just started a job and am feeling a bit sensitive as I’m still having active treatment (just Herceptin, but it does involve absences from work) and in my first HR-type discussion with my boss I said that I was feeling very vulnerable because the boss was complaining about other time off that I’ve had, even though I’ve taken annual leave for those other appointments. I mentioned the words “disability discrimination” as both she and my other colleague had made cracks about me being a part-timer which upset me, and the meeting stopped immediately, to be re-scheduled with a HR person present. Rather scary, and I really don’t need anything else in my life to fight about so I’m considering just leaving and finding something else. Bit of a shame, it took long enough to find this job, but the pressure is more than I can cope with, I really don’t need to feel like this. So I completely sympathise with how you’re feeling.
All that said, if you’re suffering from fuzzy head, low self-worth etc etc, then you might find that it’s your reaction to the enforced menopause that’s getting to you, and while we can’t do HRT, there might be something to help you. Before you completely give up, have a chat with your GP about trying anti-depressants. With tamoxifen as well, I was having yucky flushes and really delicate mood, and a course of anti-depressants has been a complete life-saver. That might help you get your head straight a bit, so you can then take the time to consider what you do want to do.
Choccie how horrible for you. As I know you are a bubbly confident person as well as the insecure ex BC patient we all are at times. Please try not to be bullied, easier said than done. You might want to give the Helpline a ring to unload and perhaps some advice lines. What an awful thing to happen to you.I agree with all that has been said above. To have Herceptin is so important for you. Maybe a handout on it might help them. HR should be there for you as well as your Boss.
Lots of best wishes
cackles
Cackles, it’s not the medical appointments they have a problem with it’s the additional appointments with SS, so that just makes me even crosser that SS are putting my livelihood at risk with all their interference! ( … and… B - R - E - A - T - H - E - ! ! ! !) But the way I look at it, work wouldn’t have a problem with those appointments if I wasn’t already having time off for Herceptin, so really, there IS a bit of DD going on.
But I’m not going to fight about it, I’d rather just walk away. I’m not being “strange” with my boss (she sits just opposite me, so that would be REALLY awkward) and if it all goes pear-shaped, then so be it. I don’t want to be in a workplace that resents me. Even if they’re not “allowed” to, it would just spoil work, which for me is usually a nice little haven from the stresses of the rest of my life! So I’d rather leave.
Have sent off my CV to a job that’s a lot closer this afternoon (had to leave work as one of my girls wasn’t well, so that’s another blot on my copy-book!) so we’ll see what comes of it. I’m finding the daily commute quite a drain, particularly when the various appointments have meant taking a half day off, so I end up in the car for as long as I spend at work on those days.