I don’t often post on here, but I do follow the conversations and find them very useful.
I have now completed treatment - Chemo x6 Fec/Tax. double mx and radiotherapy, finished Sep 14.
Only thing remaining is temp expanders removed and permenant ones put in. All in all my journey has been ok, well compared to a lot of ladies on here I really don’t have anything to complain about.
Mentally I have kept strong and all in all been in a good place most of the time. Had a few wobbly moments here and there.
So I had recently been following Lynda Bellinghams story - found her really inspiring and a real breath of fresh air. So when I found out on Monday she had passed away it really floored me!! It has really upset me in a way I never expected. The thing that really got to me was the fact that she so wanted to make Christmas and it wasn’t to be. I cried my eyes out, and it made me physially ill, and I felt really depressed. I have never felt like this the whole time I was having treatment and it has shocked me how much this has affected me.
So ladies any idea why I feel like this, and how do I deal with it. Anyone else had this happen to them?
I think I can understand where you are coming from. I too was extremely positive through my treatment and I do realise how lucky I have been to find the lump when I did but every now and again I just feel really down. I think maybe while having treatment you just keep going looking to the light at the end of the tunnel with the goal of just getting to the end of active treatment and then afterwards you start to reflect on what you have been through. A bit like post traumatic stress perhaps the feelings are there and they will come out one way or another.
I was following the Lynda Bellingham story too and when my daughter told me on Monday that she had died I too was really shocked and my first response was also but she so wanted to make it to Christmas.
I just wanted to say be kind to yourself and don’t push yourself to be totally ‘back to normal’ too soon. Take things at your own pace and take care.
Yes I can relate to both of you - felt pretty strong through the whole thing only now at an end feeling odd and felt so sad hearing about Linda - and those stories of celebs I have never and will never met generally dont affect me but I just ached for her and family.
Some things that might help you both I have now started counscelling to look at my emotions now I have finished treatment and also went to the Penny Brohn Centre recently - amazing and recommended
I have also completed treatment and was also in a positive frame of mind and understand your feelings so I thought I would share this with you. I found an article on cancercouncelling website re Dr Peter Harvey- after treatment finishes- and found it extremely helpful with my feelings at the moment. Puts everything into perspective. hope you find it helpful as well.
take care of yourselves and take one step at a time.
Can relate to these feelings as well. I think that while u are going thro the physicality of treatment your frame of mind is focused on what u need to do to get thro it all. I felt exactly the same when my treatment ended, Ok, time to get back to “normal”, when normal didn’t happen it came as a complete shock. I’m waiting to join a group therapy session and while it’s not everyones cup of tea, I have a feeling it might be helpful. Don’t be too hard on yourself, u’ve come thro a very traumatic time, one day at a time. Take care x
Sorry to hear about this, just think how well you have done and how far you have come. Hearing of Lynda’s death will have floored you having followed her journey, I had a similar thing when I went through my treatment and I read about Gloria hunnifords daughter karon. It is a shame that Lynda didn’t make Xmas, and she didn’t want to bring it forward, just think that she went peacefully with her husband and family around her, and do like she said, tell your loved ones that you love them very much. Her funeral will be soon and it’s going to be a celebration of her life not mourning, you are lucky and many others that we are survivors but unfortunately there are many others who are not, I’ve lost some very dear friends to the terrible disease but it’s hard to carry on sometimes, but just like I said think how well you have done and tell your loved ones how much you love them and keep positive, take care. Mandy
I got stuck in a rut reading about people who died from breast cancer, especially actress/singer Bernie Nolan. I started wearing my family and friends with my obsession. I am trying to break this habit but some days l am consumed about cancer recurrence and dying an early death. For me l think it will take time to adjust. Your in early stages like me after recovery. Hearing about people dying because of cancer brings up all the emotions of being frightened and so on. I think time is what will help
I’m a new girl! 39, approaching 40. Finished treatment (grade 2 lumpectomy, radiotherapy, turned down chemo) and just getting into the tamoxifen.
I could identify alot with so much that has been said. Thank you.
I’ve tried to be open to my feelings during treatment but was also brave and organised, but am finding now; 6 weeks on from the end of radiotherapy, that I am pretty shell-shocked.But I feel my freinds and family have moved on with it and just want me abck to normal. My boyfriend is being wonderfully supportive though and actually forwarded me the link to here.
I hate hearing about people dying of cancer too; it feels like hearing it makes it more likely to happen to me/gives me more fear.
Has anyone experienced getting irritable and anxious from Tamoxifen, 6 weeks in?
I am also so, so tired still and feel like a bit of a failure for not getting better quickly. I read somewhere here a minute ago that having radiotherapy is like having 20,000 chest x-rays!! Made me feel much better!
Good to read your stories. I’ll keep in touch I thin; I need support.
Hi Kiki-boo
Your timescales and treatment sounds v similar to mine, I’m just a few years older early/mid 40s.
I was concerned about Tamoxifen (re existing fibroids and heavy periods) plus the rest…only started taking it just over a week ago (my pharmacist friend frowned v disapprovingly when I confessed I hadn’t started it) and have been feeling v anxious but also dealing with stress re return to work so may be a bit of both…plus partners away caring for a relative.
There’s a strand called starting Tamoxifen today which you might find you can relate to with some fairly regular updaters at different stages.
Tamo has speeded up my period cycle and I’ve only been on it a week…wondering what next!
Not grown 3 heads or a tail yet which is good!
Welcome
Seabreeze
Ps kiki-boo
There’s a new article on fatigue after radio and/or chemo on the forum website…I think it’ll reassure you that loads of us feel fatigue and frustration that we are not 110% rocket speed!
Do consider asking yr doc for blood tests, I found i had lost nearly all my iron since my op…discovered a couple of other women on the forum who also had this.
Try to be a bit more giving towards yourself and tell a closr friend or 2 about the article…
Seabreeze