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Tired and Emotional!!

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hi Laine123, Thanks v much. Glad you got some good news too. I've been on here a few weeks now and am still unsure about where and what I should or shouldn't respond or write, but the one thing you can be sure of is that the people on this site are fantastic and sooooo encouraging but best of all non judgmental with a good understanding of what is happening!! They get my outbursts of fed upness or moments of woohoo's, and it's a guilt free zone where you haven't made anyone feel awkward and not know what to say to you, this place and the people here are truly fabulous.

Got my invite to the land of tamoxifen and radiotherapy on 20th Sept, so let's see what that brings!!! Got to be honest one of the best bits of advice I got from this site is don't go googling, you could scare yourself senseless and some of it's not even correct or up to date!!! The other part is that when I've read some of the other ladies responses on here is that side effects seem to be the luck of the draw, some people suffer some people don't, my application for the don't camp is in there but I'm not going to rule out the fact that sometimes I might just be suffering a bit, but if it means I get to live longer then so be it!! Keep me up to date with your progress and good luck xxx

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hello Simone,
New to the site and don't know if I'm doing this right - but congrats on the results. I just got mine yesterday - the most nervous I have ever been in my life. I literally hadn't thought beyond 'R' day. The relief at no spread was indescribable - and then I started reading about the potential side effects of tamoxifen and radiotherapy! Its certainly a journey - and I think we all need a bit of support to get through it. A couple of wobbles so far - but thank goodness for all the wonderful support networks like this! One thing I have learnt so far - Its OK to be tired and emotional occasionally.

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Sorry you cannot get the link to work, just remembered that the moderators let me put them on a thread because a few people were having problems with the link on the profile. So i will bump that for you.

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Oldandlumpy, still haven't been able to see your u tube moments, but I have ordered my emu oil and shampoo in anticipation of the oncologist's invite to radiotherapy central!!!! Thanks for the tip xx

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

hope you can see it now. I never played any instrument till i was in my 50's and my teachers were always bemused by having someone my age. my brain cottoned on quicker than a teenagers but my poor old muscles took ten times longer to get the hang of it.
Funnily enough i fancied piano and had a couple of lessons but my husband could not cope with me pracricing. if i had known about keyboards and headphones i might never have got onto drums

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Oldandlumpy, I've sent a contact request as I couldn't see anything on your profile for utube links, hope that's ok. Complete admiration for anyone who can play live music and have the talent to play musical instruments, brilliant! Nice that your bandmates are supportive. I'm currently learning how to play the piano, something I've always wanted to do, slightly funny that my tutor says the rest of her pupils are all little kids so it's nice for her to have an adult to talk to!! slightly disturbing that I am only at the same stage as toddlers when I'm 46!!! lol! all got to start somewhere though! Take care xx

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

hi, the website is http://www.emu-oil-well.co.uk/

Yes I am a drummer in an amateur rock band, if you are interested look at my profile page and there are a couple of utube links. I was determined that my band would not replace me and booked a gig with them 7 weeks after my WLE. Fortunately they are good lads and carried my gear for that gig. I dont normally pull the weak female card but i had to then. I love playing with them and would have been heartbroken if this blinking parasite had stopped it.

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Oldandlumpy, could you send me the website or shop name of where you get the emu oil, sounds like a good buy! I'm taking it from your profile pic you're a drummer? Totally impressed that you're back playing gigs already, good on yer, will save your seat on the smug bench as obviously it will only be a temporary wander!! Take care xx

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

i read what the boots website said about aqueous cream thinning healthy skin and decided not to use it. .someone said that in australia the radiologists recommended emu oil. its just pure oil melted from the back of emu's. Its good for moisurising the skin and for burns. I get the one from australian birds fed free range on organic food rather than the american one which is factory raised.

The company sells a very nice shampoo and conditioner that is very gentle and leaves my hair very shiny.Thought i would avoid shampoo washing down over by breasts in the shower during rads. Think i will continue to use it now though--much nicer than my salon one

might have to move off the smugness bench though. Just got in from a gig and when loading the van up i found the cases much heavier than I did last week. And when i was playing there were certain fast things I could not do, never had a problem before, and it took me soooo long to pack up afterwards. So perhaps I do have a little fatigue after all.

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Oldandlumpy, here's what is likely to be a daft question but what's emu oil and what does it do? apart from amuse the radiation team!!! very intrigued and always interested to learn something new!

Thanks Jude, hope you're having a good weekend too xx

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Brilliant news , so pleased for you, have a fantastic weekend 🙂
jude xxx

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

I too am joining you on the smugness bench. Just done 16 out of 16 and am ok to. I have nerve pain inisde the breast but it is going, so thats just a few days of that--other than that no tiredness or sore skin (although there is time for that to develop) All I have used is emu oil--much to the radiation teams amusement.

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

not smug to me, just very encouraging. I know everybody reacts differently but I've never been ill, just the odd sniffle and only 5 spots when I had chicken pox as a kid, so this is all very new to me. Like you ethlydsyl I don't want to sound smug either, but I really am clueless and that's why I love this site for how encouraging and helpful people are, it's been a massive source of guidance and comfort for me, thank you all xxx

ethlydsyl
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

hi simone-i've had 13 rads -just 2 to go-been ok-no probs-don't want to sound smug-just trying to reassure peeps x

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Everything crossed for you too Lizzy xxx

Lizzy1977
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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Simone that's fantastic news. Like Sunshine I get my results next week. Keeping everything crossed
Lizzyx

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Angie, thank you, headed straight to starbucks after results for the biggest cappucino ever and going to bake myself a great big batch of chocolate cupcakes!!

Sunshine 1, I've got everything crossed for you, good luck xxx

sunshine_1
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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hi Simone,

That's great news. I get my results a week on Tuesday I hope they are as good as yours.

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

high 5 .... great news... now have a few big breaths.... in .... out... in .... out ... cup of coffee and a nice big.. ..no massive cream cake as a treat.... HIGH 5 WHOO WHOOP xxx

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Thank you to all who posted on my little outburst. Just got my results and have got clear margins, so no more surgery required, just tablets and radiotherapy, dare I be optimistic and give myself a bit of a high 5, and a teensy woohoo!!!

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hi Simone
first rules for me are work with your body and your instincts (gut) and be kind to yourself - ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in these circumstances, thats a pretty good indicator, I think.
If it continues, you can get access to counselling/psychology service and thats a big help. Mine was accessed via bcn and has been more help than I can say.
go gently, hon, and be understanding of your body and mind which have been through, and are going through the wringer
love, mon

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Thanks Lizzy, really reassuring to know that I'm not completely losing it, and what I appear to be going through, so many have sadly been before me, but this is a massive help for my mind!!! I don't feel too bad sending the BCN a txt, that way I don't feel like I'm being such a worry wort, where would we be without our mobiles!!!!
good luck with your results xxx

Lizzy1977
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Simone

I completely understand where you are coming from. I had my second WLE last week and went back to work today. I have been really worried about bumping into people and have been worried about my colleagues thinking I'm being selfish for not wanting to do the brew round! Speak to your BCN. Mine has been great. I'm just waiting for the results now which should come next week. Good luck hun x

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Thank you for all the words of support, advice and guidance, very much appreciated. Get my results this Friday, I think once I receive those and the way forward I'll feel a bit better, I'm rubbish without a plan of action! Will do my best to ease up on myself and listen to my body a bit more!!!! Best wishes to all xxx

oldandlumpy
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

hi simone,

Have you had your test results then or are you still waiting?? If you are still waiting then any behavior is completely normal. You have just have your world rocked by discovering you have cancer and going through surgery and you cannot blame your brain for not believing that its the nice cosy place it was before you started all this.

We all react differently. But even when we think we are being "positive" and in control our mind can sneak up on us and make us feel like a martian or something.

Also its only a couple of weeks since your op, your body still has some recovering to do which could be making you feel a bit vulnerable.

I had my op in June and am in my last week of rads and it was only a few weeks ago that I suddenly realised that i was not thinking about cancer 24/7. So the rollercoster does stop. I think it starts to slow down when you get all your results in and your treatment planned, but even then its a while before you actually get off. But at least you can see the end.

Slow down and be good to yourself and dont expect too much of your mind or body--its still early days

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

It sounds more like an anxiety problem to me.
That alone lost me four months of last year and I still have problems. This was all pre cancer btw.

I personally wouldn't bother the bcn, but see the gp. It's in the mind, and bc has a nasty habit of spooking it!

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

hello simone... feeling a little down at the moment i bet.. well the rollercoaster ride has begun... and it takes a while for it to slow down.. its very early days for you.. firstly your diagnosed.. then all systems go you hardly have time to gather your thoughts.. and now the start of the healing process... it all takes it out of you hun.. both physically and mentally.. dont be hard on yourself.. i myself was always on the go , fetching carrying running round for other people, i hardley had any time for myself.. now... i am 1 year ahead of you.. and life has changed in so many ways..friends i thought were true friends i no longer see.. people i never dreamed would be there for me were.. and still are... things that used to really bother me.. i couldent give a dam anymore.. it dont matter if the windows are smeared.. or the floors need a vaccume... and there is always the chippy if i dont fancy cooking.. i too got stressed out at the thought of going out again after surgery.. i dont know why, maybe its fear of bumping in to someone.. falling over... or seeing someone who may ask how you are.. im not sure.. maybe its just our emotions.. take things slowly.. why rush... if you fancy going out, like you did before cancer.. did you fall over then ? did you constantly bump in to things or people ? probably not.. your emotions are shot... but logically speaking.. you have been through the mill.. and it has to have some effect... why not do as i did... ask a friend or relative to accompany you on your first venture, just a trip to the local shop.. when you have done it a few times with someone it will be easier to try it alone.. life as you knew it has changed..eventually things will settle down and some form of normality will resume.. 12 months on .. im doing much better.. im back at work, im stronger in myself (some days).. im in tears others.. i have a zero level of tollerance now... some days im bitch from hell .. others im me again.. swings and roundabouts.. its all part of the rollercoaster... its a learning curve.. you have to learn how to live again .. and you will take your time xxx angie

annew272
Member

Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hi Simone

I'm a couple of weeks ahead of you, I had my WLE and SNB on 2nd August and am still a little concerned in town in case someone bumps into me. I managed to get myself into a bit of a state over the weekend and found the courage to ring the bcn today (first time apart from checking an appointment time lol) and she rang back about half an hour ago, it made me feel much better and she confirmed that what I was feeling was quite normal. There were a couple of things I have realised that I forgot to ask and you know what - I can ring her again. I'm still on the emotional roller coaster but do feel that the ups and downs are coming a bit closer together every day

Anne

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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Thanks for the advice Nicola, can't wait for normal service to resume, or at least something that resembles it!!!!!

moorcow
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Re: Tired and Emotional!!

Hello there - your post resonated with me - when I was having my chemo - a year ago now- I really felt like I didn't want to be left alone, even at home, and then when I did go out it was only to places i felt really sure about - like my friend's cafe. But you know what thats fine - its just our way of coping with the enormous changes we have had to face and we are just hunkering down and conserving energy for the adjustment to our new situation and the physical stuff we have to deal with. I promise with me it gradually receeded and now I'm bobbing about all over the country again (for work!!). Not sure I'm up to some of the things I used to do , like travelling to out of the way places for fun but still, normal life is resumed.
Be kind to yourself....best Nicola

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Tired and Emotional!!

Has anybody else felt slightly silly and avoided ringing the BCN to say I'm a bit scared of going out by my self!! I'm 46 and had my WLE and SNB on 16th August. I've always considered myself to be quite independent and generally a strong minded individual. It's like I'm having an argument with myself "what the heck is wrong with you woman, why can't you go for a walk round the block and get a bit of fresh air" versus "what if somebody bumps into you and it hurts, what if you feel faint and nobody picks you up as they think you're a drunk in the street, what if somebody sees you as being a vulnerable target....... and on and on"!! Thank goodness for friends and family who have basically been babysitting me for the last couple of weeks while I've been on the emotional rollercoaster, any info of when the ride stops would be gratefully received

Also, loving this site, just to know that I'm not the only one who doesn't know everything!!!

Simone xx