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Treatment starting August 2014

Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi luvlies 😘 

 

Andrea - good luck today with your chemo cocktail. Hope all goes well 👍 

 

Mel - fingers crossed the SE's aren't too harsh if/when they kick in. Take it easy.

 

Jannie - well done with your weight loss hunnie. A step in the right direction ☺ 

 

Sorbet, Alijay, Eileen, Ade, Nicki, Bali, geeG, Kate.... Apologies if I've missed anyone...... Hope you're all OK.

Has anyone heard from Kate?????? Hunnie if you're reading this then please know we're thinking of you & sending lots of love 😘 

 

Time for me to think Christmas 🎄🎁 🎅 cos in the blink of an eye it'll be upon us!! Felt really pleased with myself yesterday.....made my 1st ever Christmas cake!!! Obviously under the watchful eye on my mum!! 😀 It was great..... I felt like Mary Berry... Lol. Oh & guess what??!!!!......surprisingly I felt the brandy bottle slip when I added it to the mixture....it's gonna be a very boozyliscious cake!!!! 👍 👍 💋 

 

Hope everyone can enjoy a nice day.

Love n hugz 💕 B xx

alijay
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Mel - Glad Chemo Bar went well yesterday, hope SE won't be too bad this time, I have also given up standing on the scales, I'd rather not know anymore!! xxx

alijay
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Good Luck today Andrea, last one!! Smiley Happy

 

Urgh I think someone's out to get me! Yesterday car broke down and I waited 3 hours for the RAC to come and rescue me and tow me 5 miles back home!  Luckily I had realised there was something wrong and pulled into Tesco's car park so at least I could get a drink and a magazine! Then at 7am this morning (after quite a good sleep) I let the dog out for a wee and she came back in and walked mud all through the house so I was cleaning carpets and washing floors, exhausting!  Having a rest now Smiley Happy

 

Hospital just phoned with my Radiotherapy planning appointment on 25th, I'm glad things are moving along but I don't like having to go into the hospital when I'm at my low immune point.

 

Oh, just thought I'd make a recommendation, just bought some really good eyebrow stuff, its called 'Eye Tech to Go' by Smashbox, they do it in larger branches of Boots. 

 

Have a good day everyone 

 

Ali xxx

Mel66
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning ladies

Chemo bar went well yesterday. My friend came with me... she's great company and the constant chatter made the time fly by. No SEs as yet. If it goes the same as last time, I can look forward to their appearance tomorrow evening.... just another sleepless night due to steroids and hot flushes.

Good luck for today Andrea... hope it goes well.

Jannie... know what you mean about the platitudes... you just have to smile outwardly whilst screaming inwardly! Glad to hear the weight is already coming back off. I had put on about 2 stone at last count. Haven't dared stand on the scales recently... I just don't want to know!

I downloaded the form for ESA (the new Incapacity Benefit) yesterday. 45 pages!!! They're not going to make this easy!

Hope everyone has a good day. xxx
EileenB
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Andrea, good luck for your last chemo tomorrow!

Goodnight all, sleep well. Eileen xx 😴💜💕
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Mel. ..hope it went well today think taking the painkillers earlier is a good move.

Most seem to be brighter today which is nice to hear and going to try to remember that the downs don't last too long.

phrases I hate....you won't be back to normal but a new normal. ...wtf does that mean? I find it really scary..
try to remember your doing this to get better...yep that why I felt the best I'd felt in 20 years before surgery and pants now...
its only temporary...well sit in this chair for a year and tell me that...ahhhhh

was putting on my face today and the thought struck me that if the l window cleaner popped his head up he would think he'd discovered my husband in a secret pass time. ..I definitely do not feel feminine today..
on the plus I've started back to slimming world and lost 2lb so the road to new normal has began.
sorbet
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Andrea

Glad better spirits and hope you has good time with your friend.Hope your bloods ok today and all set for 2moro last chemo, thinking of you and hope SE minimal.Take care

 

How are you today Alijay, hope ok and you got some sleep last pm. Hope SE ok. So pleased line coming out ok you have reassured me.

 

Hope your treatment ok today Mel and SE less bad this time.  Hope all meds helping.Thinking of you.

 

Ade hope you ok? Not heard from you in a bit.Hope indigestion easing a bit?

 

Hi Bali , hope you ok and feeling bit better ?

 

Bevster hope the cake sale went well such a lovely idea , my work had one few weeks back so sad  I couldn't make it or bake for as just had chemo and not up to plus too many bugs in staff room. Do let us know how it went, hope your day good. Hope your xmas shopping went well, good idea to do before radio. Hope you find somewhere lovely for you both to stay away, lovely idea.

 

How are you Eileen?Hope improving and having better days.

 

Love to Kate, Fairy, Gee J , Jannie and anyone else i've not mentioned.

 

Went to GP in end locum wanted me to have blood tests but no one at practise can take blood from PIC so said to ring hotline at hos, but they never rang me back so have started taking antibiotics he gave me as dont want delays next week, hoping will feel better soon.

Anyhow off for early night. Lots of love to you all

Sorbet

 

Hope everyone else ok Kate

 

 

 

 

geeG
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Ladies - Hugz to All and all best wishes for a good night of sleep and minimal SEs… x x x
And40
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning!

Mel - good luck for today.  Hope it goes well.

Alijay - great news on having the line out.  It must be such a relief.

 

I'm going for bloods at 5pm.  I'm going to the hospital rather than waiting for the district nurse.  It's so much easier to have an appointment than to wait around all day getting stressed.  Then last chemo tomorrow!!!

One of my friends is coming for a cuppa and a chat later today which will be nice.  She always has funny tales of what her 15 year old son has been getting up to.

Feeling in better spirits today, though the piles have appeared for me too.  How lovely!!

 

Hope everyone is ok today.  Take care.

Andrea xx

alijay
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Good Luck today Mel, nearly there. I was expecting my line to stay in for 3 weeks as well but the nurse checked with my Onc and he said it could come out, maybe all hospitals are different but its worth asking xxx

 

Eileen, no I didn't have a Securacath, my line was just held with a steristrip close to the site and then a Statlock further up my arm.  I did have a particularly long external line, 14cm as the nurse who put it in 'forgot' to cut it!  so I am very pleased it's out as I had a huge dressing!!  

 

Have a good day everyone 

 

Ali xxx

 

sorbet
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Mel hope today's trip to cocktail bar ok thinking of you glad you feeling a bit better, thinking of you.

 

Glad feeling coming back Jannie.

 

Hope everyone else ok just a quick post, got nasty sore throat coldy debating whether to call GP to check as dont want last chemo next week delayed.

Catch up later.

Lots of love Sorbet

EileenB
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning all

Good luck today Mel, get popping those painkillers pronto. I'll keep everything crossed for you and hope the reduced dose of Tax brings a reduction in the severity of your SE.

Hope everyone has a good day. Hope your colleagues are hungry today Bev, it's really great that they're doing this to raise money for BCC - where would we have been without this forum??

Love to everyone. Eileen xx 😎💕💕
Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning all 😘 

 

Mel - good luck at the bar today.....hope all goes well & you don't suffer too much with SE's this cycle.

 

Is anyone else due treatment this week? (Sorry I've lost track again)  

 

I need to start thinking about Xmas today.....must get some shopping done soon as don't want to have much to do whilst having radiotherapy. 

 

Also going to try to suss out somewhere for me & OH to get a few days away between Xmas & New Year with the pooches. 🐕🐕 Just fancy a little coastal cottage somewhere to spend some quality time before I hopefully start back to work in the new year.

 

My team are going to be selling cakes n buns etc today to fundraise for this breast cancer care charity that we are all benefitting from by using this forum. Fingers crossed the office will be full of hungry folk today 😉 

 

Hoping everyone has a decent day & that those of you on the sobbing step feel brighter. Stay strong my luvlies.

Love n hugz 💕 B xx

Mel66
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

4am role call again.... pre chemo steroids well and truly kicked in... wide awake club, heartburn and bloating ahead of today's trip to the chemo bar. The internal furnace seems to have turned its thermostat up quite considerably too. Bizarrely, no matter how burning hot I get though, my skin seems to remain cold and only my head really sweats!

Not as bad a day yesterday. Feeling a bit more in control and had a surprise visit from one of my oldest friends (who's also now one of my staff members) and a lovely 3 hour catch up and giggle. Also long phone call with my accountants as my 26 weeks of SSP which I had been paying through my business is nearly due to come to an end and it's time to switch to ESA. Fortunately now, anyone receiving IV chemotherapy doesn't have to go for a medical assessment and all the hoop jumping that was previously involved so should be a relatively simple process (famous last words!) but it does mean that I'll only be receiving £72/week and no tax credits although it does mean that I will be able to ease my way back into work next year as I will be able to work up to 15 hours a week and earn £100/week without it being affected.

Great news about your sore toe jannie! Who would have thought that feeling pain would be such a cause for celebration. Hope that soon the pain is replaced by common or garden 'feeling'!

Alijay... line out? How fabulous! My last tax is 9th December and I was hoping to have the line out before Xmas but all reports suggested that it would be hanging on in there till 30th December in the 3 week rule. Going to ask about it tomorrow. You've given me hope!

Nicki... hope you start feeling better soon. I think it's only natural that we have a real meltdown at certain points. We spend so much time with our heads down, ploughing our way through all this excrement and the reality of what we're going through is bound to take its toll eventually. Just remember that all things pass in time and this is just a (horrible) phase that you will get through. Take all the help that's out there on offer. (((hugs)))

Eileen... glad the SEs are treating you kindly. So many people coming to the end of their treatment now. Seems like only a couple of weeks ago we were all nervously embarking on this particular leg of the journey. Some now heading toward radiotherapy.... all of us toward rebuilding our lives. It's quite a scary prospect after so many months of cancer dominated living.

Feeling rather nervous about today's penultimate tax. Really hope that the reduction in dose does the trick and minimises the pain. I don't think I can cope with the car crash symptoms again. Going to take Onc's advise and start taking all the pain killers early before it sets in proper. Been told I can double the dose of codeine to 60mg 4x daily... doesn't bode well for the newly hatched haemorrhoids... prunes at the ready!

Hope all you lovely ladies have a good day. xxx
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi all great news my toe definitely hurts not imagination so pleased keep pressing it just to feel the pain..will I wake up in a minute.
glad to hear the dot to dot doesn't take too long mine is Friday afternoon.
sounds as if people are picking up a bit today. steroids past 4 PM are definitely not a good idea so hopefully you will sleep better aidi
geeG
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Gals - you are all doing so well with all these demands - truly inspirational - I am a wee way behind you and very grateful for all your advice and insights - sending you a million hugs to surprise you when you least expect - hugs are keeping me afloat (just) - loadsaluv x x x
EileenB
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Evening everyone

Great news Alijay - last chemo and line out!! I wish mine was out, can't wait. Was yours held in place with a Securacath (orange plastic contraption)? If so, it's good to know that it didn't hurt. It's the removal of the Securacath that's worrying me.

Had my radiotherapy planning today - much quicker than expected, only about half an hour. Felt tip markings all over my chest, CT scan and finally two tiny tattoos. My first radiotherapy session is in 2 weeks which is what I expected (3 weeks from final chemo), starting Tuesday 2 December. I'll be given schedule of remaining appointments/times on that day but it should finish on Monday 22 December.

Hope those of you who are having a rough time, emotionally or physically, are starting to feel a bit brighter. All these hospital appointments do give us a feeling of security and of being looked after. I imagine it will be hard to be 'cast adrift' when the treatment finishes, like being abandoned after all these months of being monitored.

I am feeling better at the moment than the previous 2 Tax cycles (fingers crossed), just usual aches and pains and mild pins and needles. Going to take it easy over the next couple of weeks as once radiotherapy starts it will be a shock to the system to have to leave the house every day! Have also got something planned for every weekend from now till Christmas so I'm sure the tiredness will kick in big time. Still, it's good to have nice things to look forward to at the weekends, makes things seem more normal.

Wishing you all a good night's sleep with few SE. Love and hugs to all, Eileen xx 😴💕💜
alijay
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Thanks everyone! I'm back from the hospital, last one done, hurray! It feels so good even though I know I have the SE to get through.  Also they took my line out!! I thought it would have to stay in but they said if I was happy to have it out I could, so I did!  It wasn't painful at all and took all of 10 secs. Smiley Very Happy  My nurse was horrified when I told her I was taking my second dose of steroids in the evening and told me to take them after lunch, I was thinking I needed to space them out but apparently not.  I didn't have mine with me so she gave me some to take, maybe I'll sleep better tonight!

 

Mel, pleased you're feeling a little better today xxx

 

Bev, glad your planning session and tattooing went well and didn't take too long.  I'm thinking I might go mad and have a proper tattoo for my 50th in May! Love your Australian friends words, I just bought myself a print for the wall "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain" xxx

 

Love to everyone

 

Ali xxx

And40
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

That's quicker than I imagined.  That's good to know.

Andrea xx

Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Andrea

 

My planning only took half an hour....Yes all marker penned up too.....dot to dot later me thinks! Wonder what the picture will be when the lines are joined... Lol 😉 

 

💕 B xx

Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Luvlies 😘  From my friend in Australia.......thought for the day: 

 

Don't confuse your path with your destination.

Just because it is stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine 🌞🌞

 

 💕B xx

 

And40
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi 

Alijay - I hope today went ok.  Great that it's the last!!! Just the last SE's to get through now and no more!!

Eileen - let us know how the planning session goes today.

Bevster - glad you had your planning too.  It's all moving on now isn't it?  How long did the planning take?  Did they draw all over you as well as tattoo?

Ade - how is your indigestion?  Is it any better today?

Nicki, Mel, Bali - it's all so emtional isn't it.  I hope you are all feeling a little bit better today.  I wish I could say just the right thing to make it better.  All I can say is we are all here and thinking about you.

 

Fairy, Sorbet - I hope you are having a good week before your next (and last) chemo. 

 

I've found it has taken me much longer to come round this time with much fewer good days.  Fingers crossed for the next one.

 

I just had a visit from a couple of work colleagues.  I was on a management course with them before I left work and we had become quite close.  They had an assessment at the end of the course that I was supposed to do with them.  They told me all about it and it was great to hear their stories.  I forgot there is another world out there!

 

Take care everyone and look after yourselves.

 

Andrea xx

Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi luvlies 😘 

 

Alijay - a bit late sorry but hope your last tax goes well ......done n dusted eh...yippeeee!! 👍 💜 

 

Eileen - how did your radiotherapy planning go? I've had mine today too....all marked up & tattooed. Could do dot to dot later!! 😉 My 15 sessions start next Monday 👍 Should be another treatment boxed off by Xmas all being well. 

 

Nicki, Mel & Bali - how are you feeling hunnies? I have been thinking about you & wish I could give you all a proper hug!! Sorry your at a low ebb.......i really hope you shuffle from the sobbing step to the 'little bit brighter' step soon. Sending massive cyber hugz 😘😘😘 I'll be saving the real ones for our glizty ritzy outing for sure!!!! 💗 

 

Well I've dropped mother's baking off at my office today for their breast cancer care fundraising cake sale tomorrow 👍👍 Will let you ladies know how much is raised.

 

To each & every one of you I send lots of love & hugz.

Take care & stay strong luvlies 💕 B xx

Nicki01
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning All,

 

Thank you for your kind words and hugs.

 

Had another sleepless night, went to see the doctor after bloods taken.  He suggested i contact Macmillan, which i have done, not sure it helped, but she did say, that this low period does get most people at some point, most at the diagnosis or when treatment finishes. 

 

I keep trying to pin it on something, maybe i just need to accept it is a phase and it will pass.  I start the steroids tomorrow, ready for Wednesday, so hopefully that will help.  Mel pleased you are feeling a bit better.

 

Good luck Eileen at your radiotherapy planning appointment and Allijay at your last chemo, yaay, well done you .

 

Bali, loved your OH words, they are so true.

 

Bev, pleased you are feeling so good after first injection, long may it continue.

 

xxx

 

 

 

 

Mel66
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Thanks everyone for putting up with my miserable rantings and your support. Think the pre-chemo steroids have lifted my mood a little today and I'm feeling a lot more positive. Been to see the vampires ahead of tomorrow's 2nd tax and got my car booked into the local garage (dropping it off on way to chemo tomorrow) to try and get the window issue fixed. Fingers crossed they can find out what the problem is and fix it. These modern car electric issues can often be real problems with their computer chips and all that...

Alijay... last one? Yaaay! Hope it goes well for you.

All others sitting on the miserable step... hope you're feeling a bit better! (((Hugs))) all round. xxx
alijay
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Thanks ladies, appointment is at 2pm so hopefully bloods ok and last one will be over and done with. Had a lovely weekend, finishing last night with a meal out for my hubbies 50th birthday which is on Friday, went early as I know I will not be up for it on Friday! Been making the most of the steroid energy this morning by getting loads of housework done, my flushed face is even redder now! 

 

Eileen,  good luck today with your radiotherapy planning, hope you are feeling ok, are the SE much the same this time? xxx

 

Bali, hope you got to your sisters party and that it cheered you up a little, love your OH words xxx

 

Ade, hope you've found some relief from that nasty indigestion, and sorry to hear about your fahter-in-law xxx

 

Nicki and Mel, sorry you're both feeling so low, hope you will get in touch with your BC nurses or the helpline and manage to find a bit of peace of mind. xxx

 

Good luck to anyone else having treatment this week, take care.

 

Ali xxx

 

 

Fairy472
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi all
Doing ok here I'm a pretty positive person generally but I have had a few wobbles of course But we are all different and so are our breast cancers
I'm ordering so much stuff for my battered self, eyelash serum fast shampoo eyebrow kits.
My hair is so thin now I hope it holds on for the last chemo next week I'd hate to get to the end and it all falls out anyway, especially as I've cold capped.
I'm planning to go back to work 2 weeks after last chemo just going to do a few hours a day ease myself back in can't wait to have my life back!!

Bali2001
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Good luck today alijay ......last one 😄❤️❤️❤️
EileenB
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Alijay

Good luck for your last Tax today!

I have my radiotherapy planning appointment today so hope they'll confirm the start date.

Hope everyone has had a decent night's sleep. Lots of love Eileen xx 💕💕
sorbet
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi everyone

 

Nicki and Mel so sorry you are feeling like this, I had similar feeling and tears and rage last weekend having also been generally positive. It is so hard not knowing what next but I would agree with other's advice re speaking to someone whether it be your GP (if you feel they are the right person) or a councellor or Breast nurse or Macmillan. I had been asked if was interested in counselling by lovely lady who gave me massage at hospital in September so I thought why not try the 4 free sessions on offer, (I wanted help on talking more with my kids) only had first session last thur and wasnt sure about but you know although I was totally exhasuted (even more so than usual) afterwards as I did get emotional and tearful I did feel better and feel it is a good idea to go back. Anyhow obviously everyone is different but I would speak to someone (outside friends and family) as it is important and good idea to before you get to end of chemo so you have something to focus ahead to. You have obviously coped so well til now and therefore even harder to suddenly feel like this, I agree with Lynn Ann be kind to yourself and as many have said to me recently you have a right to feel angry and upset. I love Bali's OH words too. You take care and hope you can find the right person to talk to as you  both have obviously been through so much with this and other

situations. Big hugs to you both and sorry have waffled on ,hope some help.Lots of love Sorbet

 

 

Hi Bali sorry you are feeling so down too, love the words from your husband, Glad you speaking to councellor too. Hope you feel bit better in week and get to do a few 'Normal things' did you go to sister's party? memory failing me was it yesterday? Take care of yourself.

 

Hi LynnAnn how are you feeling at mo? Hope finding better than last T?

 

Hi Andrea how are you at mo?

 

Hi Ade can't they give you anything else? you seem to have suffered so badly with indigestion poor you, can you ask for anything else? forgive me if you have said before-memory struggling at mo.

 

Kate still thinking of you lots and hope you ok and reading this even if can't reply. Big hugs.

 

How are you doing Fairy? I am hoping for a good week before next round following one, have managed to eat more today which is good.

 

Eileen hope your SE improving and feeling a bit better.

 

Jannie and Bevster and GeeJ love to you all too, hope you are doing ok.

 

Having an early night as busy weekend with kids and no time to rest. Lots of love

Sorbet

 

 

jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Mel your poor car...but can't help seeing a comedy sketch there somewhere. maybe a new career for you they say the best comedy is built on a sad truth.
hopefully it's easy to fix.
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Bali. ..hugs to you too I'm sure the councillor will help even if it's just to unload all the things you can't say to those near to you. The last part of a race is the hardest and this is like 52 marathons in one go. x
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Nicki...I think it's normal we have been on this roller coaster for so long it's draining and when your worn out the floodgates open. I find when I'm looking forward to something I somehow expect it to be like the old days and underestimate the energy required...had set myself a target of driving to town and going to 3 shops it was too much today did one and had to come home to sleep oh came in and I couldn't stop the tears. don't be hard on yourself have a chat to someone. sending hugs
Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi luvlies 😘 

 

Nicki & Bali - I am so sorry that you are feeling so low & upset. It's awful for you to be so down & I just wish I had the words & a magic wand to make it all OK for both of you. I do send you heartfelt wishes that tomorrow will be a better day for you. Massive hugz ladies 💕 You will get through this. Much love 💗 

 

Mel - sending you hugz too. Don't be dispondent sweetie. Try to keep your chin up. 😘

 

Not much to report my end other than enjoyed a fab day with the girlies yesterday. It was nice to be normal 👍 SE's from the herceptin & tamoxifen appear to be minimal at the moment.... Phew!! 

Off to see radiologist tomorrow to be positioned & marked up so it's an early start. Hoping to get to know when my radiotherapy sessions will be too.

 

Wishing you all a relaxing eve & a good night's sleep. 

Much love 💕 B xx

 

 

Mel66
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Nicki
It might be a good idea to talk to your BCN about the councelling in offer. I'm considering taking it up myself. I'm struggling too at the moment... not so much with anxiety.. but feeling really low and crying at the drop of a hat. I was nearly an hour late to a girlie get together last night because I couldn't stop crying long enough to get out. I was having a real crisis of confidence. I felt fat, bald and ugly and really felt like I couldn't face being the 'friend with breast cancer' at the party. I knew that talk would be of work and 'normal lives' and I felt I had nothing to contribute... and I certainly didn't want to talk about chemo and BC. I just want my 'normal' life back. I want to be normal. We're both at very similar stages (2nd tax due next week)... wonder if it is a particularly bad point?

Whereas previously I have always focused on the near enough 90% 10 year survival rate, now I keep thinking I've got a 1 in 10 chance of not surviving.... and it scares the hell out of me! I kept reminding myself that by Christmas this will all be over... but it won't... how do I know what symptoms to look out for? How will I know if it decides to rear its ugly head again?

I keep thinking 'why me?'. Why do I always seem to hit the bad odds and never the good ones? I had two miscarriages followed by losing a daughter, who was born severely physically handicapped at 20 weeks of pregnancy, before finally having my son... whilst other women, who don't even really want their babies seemed to trot them out one after another.

My car, which was bought as a treat to myself after surgery to cheer me up, deciding to turn traitor and leaving me stranded and seemingly taking away the last of my control and independence was the final straw. I had a row with my mum on the phone this evening after she told me that I bring these things on myself making rash decisions and not taking time to think things through.... despite the fact that I had bought a car with very low milage and full service history with every stamp in its service book. I think it just made me feel like I was being told that all this bad sh1t that happens is somehow my own fault.

Bali... I'm sorry you feel this way too. I wonder if it's a fairly normal reaction to having come through so much, yet with more yet to come, but nearing to the end of our treatment? Your husband's words made me cry... very true!

Hugs to everyone feeling low at the moment... and Ade with the horrible stomach issues. I'm sure we'll all pull brought this and come back up fighting. xxx
Bali2001
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Nicki I am exactly the same ! Either seem angry or upset ..... My face is sore from crying today..... And not just tears I am talking sobbing ! .... Can't work out if it's just being ill for so long , end of treatment in sight so scared , future or the drugs are making me depressed ! It's been just awful I am so tired and worn out feel about 100 years old😞😞 I am seeing my counsellor tomorrow so holding on for that hoping he can help me sort my head out a bit as I have no idea why I am such a mess all of sudden . I will post tomorrow anything he says that I find helps me........ This is all so tough , I have a photo on my kitchen wall that hubby had made for me and it has these words printed on it ;
Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go , just remember how far you have come . Remember everything you have faced , all the battles you have won , and all the fears you have overcome........

He makes me read this when I get really down, .........❤️❤️
M xx
And40
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Nicki, It's a very daunting time and we've had so much to go through both physically and emtionally.  As LynnAnn says try to concentrate on the end of chemo and the next treatment.  You are nearly there.  Maybe it's worth calling your Breast Care Nurse or try the helpline on this website.  They may be able to suggest some ways to help.

 

You can do this.  Take care of yourself.

Andrea xx

ladygrey
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Nicki - get to the doctor and he'll get you the treatment you need  You def need some help there - it seems to be engulfing you and has taken over.

I haven't been there as all I can think about is bl**dy indigestion pain!

You should get an immediate appt.  Sorry I can't help you any more than that.  What we're going through is grim and it affects all of us in very different ways.

Love Ade xxx

LynnAnn
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi Nicki

Sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad time and that it has spoilt your time away. You will get through this!! Sometimes I think it can be whereabouts you are in the chemo cycle - I certainly had a very bad week during my low immunity last time and am now approaching that period now.

What treatment, if any, are you having after chemo? Perhaps concentrating on the next stage will help. I have just been sent my radiotherapy planning appointment and that has helped. Chemo is so debilitating/ tiring and you have done so well to cope the way you have with work/ family/ wedding. That is a lot to go through! Be kind to yourself. 🙂

Sending you big hugs.
Lx

Nicki01
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi luvlies,

 

Been a bit quiet on here.

 

Help please, all of a sudden i feel so anxious, it has been building since last week, i cannot eat, and i am so tearful.

 

Has anyone else had this, and if so, for how long?  We went away, to a lovely hotel, but i was so anxious i did not really enjoy it. 

 

I do not want to go to the gp and get any long term medication, but i do need to do something 

 

Any advice very very gratefully received

 

lots of love

 

xxx

Mel66
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning all
Sitting on the 'life is conspiring against me' step today. Been stopping at BF's house since building work started on mine. This was supposed to take a week... but the day before the plasterer was due to start, he fell down the stairs and broke his hand. Delay then while looking for another plasterer who could start ASAP. That done, it knocked the job back by a week and the builders/joiner is booked onto another job next week so it's all going to come to a grinding halt till his next job is finished. Been homeless for 2 weeks now and no end in sight. To add insult to injury, my new (to me) Beetle Convertible, who was the love of my life, has turned traitor and decided of his own accord to wind his driver's side window down and it won't come back up. Every so often he will suddenly decide to allow me to get it back up, but as soon as I open the door to get out, he winds it back down and there it will stay for another couple of days. He is now living in BF's garage to keep him dry with window firmly down. As BF lives about a mile out of town and a couple of miles from the nearest shop, bus stop or train station that's me well and truly stranded! Add to that the fact that the bloody cat moved out on me a couple of months ago and it seems that they're all out to get me!

The constant nosebleeds also left me with an infection in my septum and a lovely sore, swollen lump. Fortunately I had a couple of days worth of heavy duty antibiotics left from when I was sent home with drains in place and was told to stop taking them when the drains came out... so I've taken them and it seems to be clearing up. I was loath to call the doc/hospital about it as I feel like I'm becoming a complete hypochondriac! Tablets all gone now so I just hope it's done the trick. Still a bit sore but much better than it was (felt like I'd been punched in the nose!)

Sorry to hear about you father in law Ade... but as you say, he was a grand old age and a lovely, peaceful way to go. Very sad though... It will still leave a hole in your lives. xxx

Bev... enjoy your shopping day. Don't overdo it and be sure to take plenty cafe/pub breaks! 🙂

Sorbet... I'm with you on the temp thing. I tend to be cold all day then the hot flushes start about 7pm and last all night. My temp seems to be around 36 - 36.5 Night times seem to be to a constant of broken sleep. I try not to get up out of bed now as it wakes my partner so it feels like I'm lying there awake, trying to get the temp right, for half the night. I'm feeling very jealous of your sleep Bali!

Hope you have a great time tonight Nicki... next tax for me next week too.

Still no news from Kate?

xxx
Nicki01
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning Ade,

 

So sorry for your loss, but so pleased he had his family with him.

 

We lost my father in law last year, he was 90, he died at home, was looking after himself right until the end, which was exactly what he wanted!  He used to walk 2 miles to get his shopping, if i am doing that at 90, i shall be very happy.

 

Still anxious today about the future, going to have to find some good positive reads to put this into perspective.

 

We are off to Windsor for the night, i have booked a lovely hotel, just want to escape before the next round, next week.

 

Have a good day everyone, lots of love and hugs xxx

 

 

Bevster
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning luvlies😘

 

Reporting in....day 1 after 1st herceptin....... OK so far so good....fingers crossed!! 👌A bit of a restless night with hot n cold 'issues' but managed to stay in bed& drop back off to sleep after a while each time. 

 

Had a girlie shopping day in Leeds planned for today.......pleased to say I' m feeling up for it too so Xmas market n mulled wine here I come!! 😀🎄🍷 

 

Hope everyone has a good day (despite lack of sleep) & can keep those nasty SE's at a minimum. 

Will catch up later.

Sending love & hugz to everyone 💕 B xx

 

PS - Ade, with sympathy on the loss of your father in law. At least he passed away peacefully at a ripe old age & with family around him. Sending you a hug xx 😘

Bali2001
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Morning all

Ade sorry to hear about your loss , but how lovely to reach such a grand age and be with the people you love most ❤️
Sorry your in the wide awake club again 😞😞 I managed a good nights sleep again sorry 😞......You have my sympathy on the ulcer front they make you feel so low. The gelclair is brill though . Word of warning this is how the infection got in and caused the sepsis for me both times so be obsessive with keeping mouth clean ..... I am now changing my brush like I change my knickers 😄😄

Bevster how upsetting for you 😞 I would have been really distraught ...... Well done for pushing through and getting it done that must have taken courage . Hope you managed a good nights sleep ❤️

Jannie I am going to chat with everyone about this line make sure I am fully prepared this time! Reduce the stress!

Sorbet hope you managed a good nights sleep and are feeling a bit better ....... You made me cry with the kind things you said ❤️❤️Sending big hugs ❤️

Alijay hope you have a nice weekend ahead of Monday ......another step closer 👍

Nicki ,Eileen ,fairy Kate hope you are all keeping well.❤️Sorry if I missed anyone ❤️

Didn't manage the cards girls 😄 but there's plenty of time yet ........ It's only lunch at my sisters today but it's out and I can't wait 😄😄...... And it's the lovely but slightly barking sister so should be fun.......maybe I should wear the cow pj's😄

Have a lovely weekend all keeping those horrid SE at bay!

M xxx

ladygrey
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

In the wide awake club again!  Why is it 4am seems to be the witching hour for those on chemo??  I managed to toss and turn till 5:30 but just gave up and got up for tea and toast.

Dogs just looked at me and went back to bed so they're in the sound asleep club!

Thank you all for the kind comments re father-in-law.  

I had a call from the heart scan team wanting to do a scan on the 22nd Dec.  Told her absolutely not as that was my low week and wasn't coming into a hospital full of sick people.  She was a bit stroppy about it but once she realised I was serious and wouldn't be pushed on it she put it back to 8th Jan.  

Just yawned and eyes heavy so going to try and get some more sleep......catch up laters.

Ade xxx

sorbet
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Hi all very cross today as thought getting better and then hot and cold feverish all last night and feeling horrid today-did even take temp several times which havent done much as I dont get temperatures my normal v.low. Hoping just an off day as need to be well at weekend with kids and things on. Anyhow enough grumpy moans.

 

Ade so sorry re your Father in law but again agree good he was peaceful with those he loved, yes you can't ask for more. Glad you've got stuff for sore mouth and ulcers. Hope indigestion improves its just horrid.

 

Bevster hope you can rest ,poor you I would have had melt down re injection if thought not having ,I do sympathise having found this round of GCIF awful ,best thing about today not having one as this round ended yest. Hope you have no SE and can enjoy weekend , take care.

 

Ali Jay hope blood good and you do enjoy weekend pre T on Monday.

 

Nicki glad you up to busy week and oncol appointment went well. I am with you about being positive so far and recent worries about the future its good to know am not alone and like you hope will pass.

 

Eileen hope you are feeling a bit better after day at home-agree horrid weather  only ventured out to take kids to school and thankfully lovely OH did pick ups as not up to. Hope DN came ok . Thanks for all comments re PICC coming out  been thinking about lots.

 

LynnAnn glad you've been ok so far since yest, impressed re xmas wrapping etc , have done a bit of online shopping this week, hoping next week to think more re xmas so am organised for once.

 

Bali glad you had good sleep last pm hope repeats again tonight-I took your place in wide awake club last pm. Hope you get to go and enjoy party this weekend, it must be so hard for you after everything to feel you cant go out and fully agree it makes us down and grumpy(me last weekend). Hoping you keep well, you have been amazing and I keep telling myself if you can keep going after everything I certainly can. Big hugs.

 

Jannie good you made decision re line removal I can see your reasoning  makes sense.Hope you have good weekend.

 

Hope you ok Fairy and Kate too and if forgotten anyone .

 

Anyhow must try to sleep and feel better.

Lot of love Sorbet

 

 

EileenB
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Ade, sorry to hear about your father in law. Glad he had a dignified and peaceful death, you can't ask for more than that can you. 💜💜
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Ade .. sorry to hear about your father in law. It was nice he got that last hug. x
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

bevster I understand the wobble. you get prepared for one thing and it changes which is awful but another injection you don't expect..They said the hospital would take bloods before removing the line as a pre op...but not from the line as they are not trained..really don't want anyone to touch my arm the E has a lot to answer for.
jannie13
Member

Re: Treatment starting August 2014

Bali. ..I'm sure it will be fine but will definitely let you know. I'm going to do a local as it's what I would have had if mount Vernon had had a registrar available. The surgeon in Hillingdon is the one who did my other 2 ops so I'm going to tell him to wait for the alcohol to dry before applying dressing...as I'm going to be awake I fancy making him count to 30 with me. If I'm under he will just slap it on and the less time in hospital the better.
I agree the future is scary but we've all given it our best try to focus on the good things that you can do and make every moment count. hopefully we will be so busy living we won't have time in the day and will be too worn out at night. I think it will be the shower for me as my mind already turns that way there.
did anyone else notice the hot flushes go away on t...so annoyed they are coming back now I'm trying ice packs at night seem to help..I don't get them in the day.