Gosh you have been through the mill poor you! Hope start of radio been ok and not too long before treatments end. Thinking of you, you can do it and have been such a possitive encouragement to us all.
Sounds very sensible and lovely to have some "time out" and spend some quality time with your hubby, enjoy planning it. Hope you managed to speak to BC nurse re worries , I agree such a roller coaster and so hard not to worry about any possible lumps. Thinking of you.
Do hope you are feeling a bit better and I echo Nikki;s comments on being kind to yourself. Tiredness is hard enough without all that has happened and tamoxifen certainly interupts sleep and then work is even harder. You have always been so possitive and encouraging which is great but we all need to let it out and it is sooo understandible with all you are doing. Hope you got to speak to BC nurse and get more sleep too. Take care , keep counting down to skiiing.
Lots of love to everyone
Sorry taken while to reply to your post I have been looking to find posts sent to me from very helpful girls re hair dying but can't seem to locate. (still have chemo brain at times!) I do sympathise with grey as my which has grown back so far is very grey ! I know I was recommended to look at Daniel Field website for natural vegetable dyes, haven't ordered any yet as waiting for hair to be long enough that I would brave taking wig off but they looked good and easy to use when I looked at site last month. I fully appreciate your fears of hair falling out , particularly as you've managed to keep yours. Maybe start a new thread and some of others who replied to my plea for help may reply? Think they said wait as long as can. Well done for completing all your many treatements. As for fears of ending treatement and being on your own and getting back to "normal" whatever that is, it is quite understandable to feel like that and I certainly did worry and know others did, so just take one day at a time and still be kind to yourself as your body and mind need time to recover.
Take care and well done!
Big hugs to you Bev, keep going lovely, and be kind to yourself, it will get better.
Think i am also suffering with the post treatment wobbles, is this a lump, is that a lump????????
Put a call into my BC nurse to see if she can allay my fears. Think the roller coaster of emotions will continue for a while yet, until we get some distance between us and the diagnosis/treatment.
My husband and I have decided to take some time out, i told my work this week that i am leaving, we both finish at the end of June. We are going to have lots of holidays, spend some time together, do some stuff that neither of us have had time to do before. It was something we were thinking about BBC, but it seems even more important now. We are making a list of all the things we want to do, some big, some small, lets see how many we can tick off.
Lots of love to you all as always xxx
Hi luvlies 😘
Great to read all your posts. Good to know you're all still here.
Had a couple of meltdowns this week.....am so tired with working & the commute & the broken sleep is just getting me down. Think I'm like you Mel.... May need something to aid the flushes & help me to sleep.
Don't know about you girls but my mood is reflected with my tiredness & I'm just being irrational at times & so over sensitive. I've spent the last 2 evenings in tears. My confidence has gone & I just am finding it hard to focus & get back into my work. My self asteem has gone too.
I'm going from such highs to such lows at the moment & would just like to find the happy medium for now. Will speak to my BC nurse tomorrow & also my work have a counselling service that I may investigate to see if that helps.
Roll on the ski trip. Not sure I'll be doing much skiing but am looking forward to some fresh mountain air......maybe that'll make me sleep?!
Sorry for the winge luvlies. Today not one of my strong positive ones.
Love n hugz to you one & all 💕 B xx
Hi everyone good to hear of trips away had and plans for future holidays. I had a 2night trip away with my lovely husband in Paris at weekend (was my Christmas pressie, am very spoilt) , kids went to different family members so we had some quality time together -bliss.
Am with you Charity re still wearing wig when out as not got confidence without and not braved dying grey spikey Tintin style ! Glad you had lovely weather on our hols . Hope your meeting re work phased return goes well and you are discharged from hospital ok.
Mel love sound of your May- enjoy! As for excercise during treatment I certainly couldn't have! Like you , can now walk, (wished I'd had pedometer in Paris as walked everyone fab fun!) Never been one for gym or anything, used to swim though not braved that since chemo as haven't braved taking off wig outside the house yet! Glad you managed to speak to doc re SE of Tamoxifen , hope new med helps and no SE keep us posted, do you find flushes worse after wine ? I hadn't managed to get taste back at all but did manage 2 glasses (one lunch one in evening) in Paris and I had worst night of them ever ! Think I read that can happen? Hope your meeting with surgeon goes ok, a hard decision to contemplate, take your time. Anyhow take care.
Bevster glad you had lovely long weekend away and great you wearing bikini again, all these things are good to do to help confidence increase. Glad you up to skiing , hope you have fab time (have never tried it so no idea). Glad you managing to break up work with hols and shorter days as must be tiring. Thanks for all your possitive posts. Take care
Jannie hope your weekend away went well and you managed travelling ok?
How are you doing LynnAnn?
Hope week goes well for all. Having had son up sick last night and ill today , really hoping we don't all get it, though keep thinking if can manage 4 months sickness through chemo I shouldn't worry about a sick bug. Working on lots of possitive thinking.
Love to everyone
That sounds great Bev. I've just got back from a week in Gran Canaria, weather was great and it was nice to feel a bit more normal to be honest. I did feel a bit self conscious in a swimming costume but enjoyed the time away. I wore my wig still at night but just a hat in the day. Whilst my hair is growing I don't feel confident enough yet to go without anything.
I have a meeting this week to discuss my phased return to work in March. Occupational health recommended 6-7 weeks so will see. I have chosen to use my leave as a block just now, hence the week away.
Onc appointment next week following radiotherapy so hopefully will be discharged.
Hope everyone else doing OK.
Hi luvlies 😘
Just back from a long weekend in Fuerteventura 👍 It sure was nice to catch some sunshine 🌞 although I have to say it felt strange in a bikini for the fist time trying to cover up my scars!! But hey.....I did it & was more conscious of not getting too much sun around the area than really what it looked like. 👙
Only 2 weeks then we're off skiing for a week 🎿 Happy days!!
Work is going ok. I'm doing 4 days this week but only 5 hours per day. I am finding it tiring though especially with the travelling on top. Pleased I've got lots of holidays to take to keep breaking the weeks up ☺
Hope everyone is doing well & feeling like normality is kicking back in. Keep strong & positive ladies 😘
Thinking of you all & sending love n hugz 💕 B xx
Hi everyone hope you are all doing well. Am doing well, though tierd as think been rather over doing it but
Glad you are almost feeling normal Jannie and new nail coming!
Fab weight loss Mell. Good idea re councilling -I had 4 sessions and certainly helped
Glad you are managing work Bev and sounding so positive.
Nikki great radio over and glad councilling helping.
Sorry quick post but thinking of you all not mentioned above too, am testing brain to recall all names (brain still seems to be worst to recover-anyone else the same?) Eileen, LynnAnn, Bali,Alijay Fairy, Ade, Kate, GeeJ, Charityplease forgive me if missed you , you guys really helped me sooo much.
Hi luvlies 😘
So good to read that things seem to be picking up for everyone.
Nikki - congratulations on finishing your radiotherapy. Another major treatment done n dusted for you 👍👍 Keep applying the cream hunnie & fingers crossed you'll be fine 😘
Mel - good on you with the weight loss 👍👍 Keep up the good work. We'll be like new women come our Ritz champagne treat.....yipppppeeee!!
All you other gorgeous girlies.....I hope you are all ok & send you best wishes & huge hugz 😘
Sorry I haven't posted for a while. All this getting back to work malarky has interrupted my routine....lol 😉
Sending love n hugz to you all. Keep strong & smiley luvlies & will catch up again soon 💕 B xx
Just reporting in to say i have now finished 4 weeks of radio, and am very excited to be getting my life back. With the help of counselling and time i am also managing to keep those recurrence fears at bay too. Although i do have the odd panic, when quite randomly i think what if??????
Skin has been holding up really well, been applying the aqueous cream twice a day the whole way through, and will continue until the redness disappears.
Still not booking my winter sun holiday until i have enough hair to ditch the wig, but it is definitely growing, it feels all soft on the pillow at night.
Ironically, the eyebrows and eyelashes are geting even thinner, if that is possible!!!! Not sure when they are going to start growing again.
Hope everyone is getting a little stronger every day, and life is returning to normal.
lots of love
Hi ladies just popping in. Its also my birthday on Saturday (53). Belated birthday wishes to others this month hope you managed to celebrate.
I saw occupational health yesterday with a view to returning to work on 9th March, we also agreed a phased return but have to say am a bit anxious about it already. Will be using some owed leave for February so have booked a weeks holiday in gran canaria in couple of weeks now all my treatment has finished, final onc apt at end of February so hopefully will then he discharged.
Luckily have no adverse reaction to my radiotherapy so far (finished last Tuesday) but still using e45 cream on daily basis.
Take care all xx
Hi luvlies 😘
Well I'm pleased to report that my 3 hours at work on Monday went fine thankyou!. Must admit I didn't do a great deal other than try to get reinstated onto our systems......further work to do on that tomorrow when I'm in too so not expecting to 'pull up any trees' .....suits me fine to be honest 😉
I've been for a review with one of my consultants today & after a thorough examination he seemed happy with my progress. My BC nurse was also present & had a chat with me afterwards. I do feel really emotional talking about things & she could tell it's still very raw for me. She told me about a local support group that meets once a month so I might pop there to see if that helps me. She's also registering me on a course called Moving Forward so that should be useful too.
I hope all you luvlies are doing well......don't forget there is lots of support out there ladies should we need it.
Sending much love n loadsa hugz 💕 B xx
Again belated Birthday wishes Jannie glad you could enjoy food and a few drinks and Eileen-your pm sounded fun and great re eye-lashes!
Happy Birthday LynnAnn-unsure when in Jan yours is/was. Sorry re Lymphedema signs hope doesnt develop further.
How's work going Bevster?
Mel hope you are now sleeping better. Well done on diet that's great.
Hope everyone else doing well love to you all.
Morning luvlies 😘
Hope you all had a lovely weekend.
Belated birthday best wishes to Eileen & Jannie 🎁🍷💋 Hope you both enjoyed your special day.
A quick post from me today as it's my first day back at work........only doing 3 hours today & 3 on Wednesday so working myself back into normality steadily 😜
Sending love n hugz to each & every one of you 💕 B xx
Morning luvlies 😘
Thanks for your messages......yes I really enjoyed the makeover session 👍 It was soooooo nice to have a pamper afternoon &, as I was chosen to be the demonstration model, I got my makeup done for me! 😀 I only wish I'd have arranged to go out as was really pleased with my look.
On countdown now for my return to work!!! Eek......am going into the office later today to see my team & to see if I can get logged onto the systems in readiness for Monday. I must admit I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of it but am apprehensive too. I just hope I can cope with the hours & travelling as yesterday I was so tired & fell asleep watching TV last night although I hadn't really done a great deal 😝
Anyway luvlies, I hope you are all doing well & feeling fine.
Sending all of you love & hugz 💕 B xx
Hi everyone , oh Bevster enjoy it was fab when I went although memory a bit rusty on the details, does anyone else still find their brain isn't working as well (not that mine was great before!) maybe it's just me !
I just wanted to say I got sent a letter and leaflet yesterday about the Breast Cancer care fundraising walks, saw there is a London night walk in July can opt for 5, 10 or 20 miles thinking might try to do 10mile one good to have something to aim for whilst raising money , good incentive to walk more as only excercise I really enjoy (other than swimming but not braved that yet due to wig and cold).
Hope everyone ok and keeping warm! Am off to help at church toddler group this am-trying to see how much can manage before think about starting back teaching!
Love to everyone
Morning luvlies 😘
Forgot to say on yesterday's post that I'm going on the Cancer Support Look Good Feel Better session today. Am looking forward to getting some ideas, hints & tips re make up etc for my 'new me' 👍
Eyelashes are growing back steadily now but still need to find ways of accentuating my eyes!
Hope you all have a decent day. Take it easy ladies.
Lotsa love 💕 B xx
Hi luvlies 😘
How are you all doing? Hope everyone is feeling ok & maintaining smiles 😀
Just a quick post from me to touch base & say hi. Not much to report other than gym sessions going well & are enjoyable. Skin seems to have recovered now after radiotherapy which is pleasing. Hot flushes continue despite the oil of eve primrose so not sure that's working for me but I'll keep on with them for now.
Starting back at work on phased return next Monday. Just doing 6 hours next week so should be ok 👍
Will tune in later this week hunnies.
Sending much love 💕 B xx
Hi ladies, and thanks for your message Eileen. It's good to see so many of us finished or coming to the end of treatment.
Today was my 20th session of radiotherapy, 3 more to go. My skin is a bit pink and slightly spotty in places but isn't sore, I have been using Aqueous cream twice a day. I have been feeling really tired over the last week or so but the radiotherapy nurse told me this is perfectly normal at this stage. Also the soles of my feet are still painful from the chemo. I was thinking once the chemo was over I would be back to my normal self and the radio would be no problem - silly me! I have realised that if I have a busy day I really pay for it in the evening and next day so I have to have lots of rests. Have also been feeling a bit emotional this week with the end of my treatment in sight, found myself holding back the tears on the radiotherapy table the other day, this isn't like me at all so I'm not sure what's going on!
My hair is growing really quickly, not enough for me to brave going out without the wig though, I shall be so glad when that day comes! I wish the eyelashes would grow as quickly, no sign of them yet.
Love to everyone
Eileen/Nicki - glad to hear you are getting hair regrowth. Mine is getting to the fluffy stage too. But still looks very thin and quite grey. I'm looking forward to the eyelashes coming back more than anything! Eileen - Sorry your skin is sore. It sounds painful - ouch! I think Im going to get some E45 cream too.
Bev - it sounds good to be getting to the gym. I was thinking of starting pilates. Has anyone tried that? Or is yoga better?
I need something to strengthen my body and calm my mind!
I've not been on here for a while. Sorry!
I'm pleased to hear that everyone is starting to move on.
I just have two more sessions of radiotherapy to go! Yippee! So far my skin has stayed ok. I can see the outline of where the rays go to and I've just started with a bit of an itchy rash, a bit like a heat rash. I had a bit of a wobble on Friday though. I had the first of my 5 'boosters' which the oncologist told me would be concentrated on the tumor bed as mine was Grade 3. I've been telling them all along that the lump was not where the scar is. (The lump was to the side of my breast but the surgeon made an incision around the nipple and managed to get the lump out that way. She did a really good job of taking it out but leaving a fairly light scar.) After the first booster I checked where the markings had been made and the area seemed to be about two inches too far to the left, concentrated over the nipple scar and not over where the tumor actually was. As I drove home I got more and more upset.
I called the hospital but only got an answering machine and then called the BCN who managed to calm me down. I did get a call back from one of the oncologists though, who brought up the scan. She said that it is different when I'm lying down and the tumor is covered. She was very confident that it was ok.
The radiologist on Monday was really good and printed off a copy of the scan to show me how the booster rays are covering all of the breast tissue (I have very small boobs!!) and explained alot more about how they go further than you think. I'm glad I insisted on knowing though. I would not have forgiven myself if I'd had doubts and not pushed until I got an answer I was happy with. I think I got upset because it is the last bit of this treatment and I knew once the radiotherapy is done there is no going back.
Otherwise I'm a week into the Tamoxifen and so far so good. I'm taking it in the morning with my breakfast and I'm just continuing to get the hot flushes as before. Fingers crossed.
I'm trying to stop my mind run away with lots of thoughts about the future. I can still cry at the smallest thing. I think that might carry on for some time. Everytime I turn on the TV or listen to the radio there continues to be something about cancer. My husband has been helping me to work some of the thoughts out, and I think I might still be in shock a little bit. The past six months seem surreal.
Lots of love to everyone.
Thanks for keeping in tune with our progress on here. You do have kind words to assist us on our journeys & you have the experience with which to guide us & it is appreciated.
I personally am of the mind that my experience & fears will remain & that a lot of things in life will now take different perspective. Live for today & grow stronger.
I agree, it is concerning that we haven't heard form Kate & Ade in such a long time. I wish them well & send love. A few others have been quiet too....Alijay & Bali, to name only 2. Hope all you luvlies are doing well.....please keep in touch when you can.
Sending love & hugz to everyone 💕 B xx
Dear August Ladies -- I haven't posted on your thread for a while now, but I have kept up with your progress! Congratulations on making it through the long grass.!
I am beginning to hear you talk about the fears that come after active treatment. Just wanted to say that they are another natural part of this horrible process. All of us who have been through it have them. Sometimes they get better, but, with me -- even 2 years on -- they are still there. I fear that they are something that we will all have to live with from now on. Remember, we are all going through it and I trust that eventually they will lessen.
I wonder so often what has happened to Kate and Ade. If you are still there, please let us all know how you are doing!
With love to you all, Yankee
Morning gorgeous girlies 😘
So lovely to read your posts & catch up on how you are.
Eileen - I'm mainly doing CV equipment at the gym. Bike, stepper, cross trainer (haven't been on rower yet tho'). I'm also doing a few weights on various machine contraptions but only light. I just want to get fit & tone up as we've got a skiing holiday booked for beginning of March so need to build up my stamina for that!
Hope your skin improves soon. It was about 2/3 weeks after radio had finished that mine settled down. I still use e45 twice a day tho & I still have one boob with a 'suntan' 😜 Lol.
Sorbet - The oil of eve primrose doesn't appear to have made much difference to my flushes as yet although have only taken them for 3 days as yet. Will keep you posted.
Hope everyone continues to head onwards & upwards. I'm thinking of you all & sending hugz.
Lotsa love 💕 B xx