Hi photomum82
It sounds like you're having a pretty worrying time at the moment, I'm sure some of the other users will be a long soon to offer you their knowledge and support.
In the meantime if you need some additional support or just to talk things through do give the BCC helpline a call on 0808 800 6000. Here you can share your thoughts and concerns with someone who willoffer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. Lines are open weekdays 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator