Two years on, now new primary in other breast!!!!

[Guest user]

hi lulu my scan was fine no spread anywhere else, having my mx removed next wed, at to cancel my holiday until jan, what bummer never mind eh how are you doing. x

[Lulu34]

lollypop im sorry to hear that... good luck with your CT scan xxx

[Guest user]

hi have just read your story i have the cancer come back in the skin on my reconsrtuctive breast i got the results today, i am waiting for a ct scan to see if its gone anywhere else, i am going away in five weeks myself, i was diganosed a year ago this month and i have not finished my herceptin yet i am so worried, my chemo finished in jan and i had my op march the third .

[Lulu34]

Hi J sorry your feeling unwell 😞

Im around on tuesday I could meet you somewhere for a coffee. Let me know when your free. And good luck with your appt... How are you feeling about surgery? I'm at the hosp on wed for my treatment plan xxx

Good luck to everybody else xxx

[Ginge23]

Hi
I had MX and reconstruction and 4 weeks later was sitting on a plane to Crete. So assuming no complications, infections ect a lot a women go on holiday before the Chemo. I had op 23rd July and started Chemo 6th Sept.
I don't think they like you going during Chemo and to be honest I wouldn't want to go away now I've started.
Hope this helps

Ginge xx

[J01]

Hello all

I am back from my hols and my heart goes out to all you dealing with this more than once and in the face of other trials, Lulu I am in Ed Tue to see the team in prep for next Mon (3rd) mx no.2!! I am in all day ..ready and willing to give you a real hug??? and to all you others a virtual one, I am in bed at mo not great, got a bit of a cold but have a had an horrendous ear inf prob still low after recently finishing the TAX, had to go to ENT at hosp who want me to keep taking anti-biotics til day before surgery?? My fingers and toes are still a bit numb and it's raining here!!!!!

[scottdolly]

Sending all you lovely ladies a massive hugg.....men can be real horrors at times...for those with a reocurrance big huggs to you too....my good friend has had breast cancer three times and is doing just great and totally "kicking" her height xxxxxxx

[Lulu34]

thanks ladies.... im much better during the day... its just in the wee small hours it gets to me... but feeling more positive about life again... and dare i say it.... im even feeling quite 'happy' today 🐵
xxx

[Guest user]

Lulu, pls don't apologise for feeling so down,i just wish i could come over & give u a great big hug but i'll send a huge virtual (((hug)) instead. U have been such a support to everyone on here & your posts are so informative & helpful. You've been dealt some s****y blows & don't deserve it,bless ya. I hope u feel a little better now & u know we're all here for u.xx
And to all the other ladies who's OH's don't seem to be able to cope, sending ((hugs)) to u all of u too xx

[meggy]

I'm so sorry for you girls. I've read loads of posts from you Lulu over the past few years - you've been so supportive to umpteen. I really feel for you going through treatments in the face of your breakups. My OH currently moving out after 20 years - 1 1/2 years after my bilat mastectomies. Working hard to counter the overwhelming negative feelings that engulf me - hope you can find a way through it.
hugs
Meggy

[Lulu34]

you take care too... hope legal aid can help.

good luck in tomorrow
Lxxx

[Guest user]

Lulu don't be sorry for feeling down. We all have plenty of bad days that is partly why we are on here.
I had EC followed by tax last time (4 of each). My OH came to each session and held me in his arms. We renewed our vows at the end of the treatment. My friends will come with me this time. It all seems so inconvenient to my OH.
I am going to contact LegalAid after I find out what chemo I am having just so I can get some money.
Take care and try to keep smiling
xx

[Lulu34]

oh Nats thats so mean of him to basically emotionally blackmail you into 'being brave'..... why should you not be angry and emotional????

there are just no words really.... i just feel your pain and i have had similar things said to me.... 'i hope you are going are going to be grown up about this and not get emotional and angry in front of the children'.

its bad enough to have cancer again but to lose your relationship and your home as well all at the same time is an awful lot for anybody to be dealing with....

i cannot understand it either.... how can i go from being the love of someones life to them not even wanting to be in the same room as me? what did i do to make them all so grossed out by me... i cant believe it of my OH he was so angry about my ex for cheating on me and couldnt understand why he would do that and then did the same thing.... im better off on my own but its hard 😞

what chemo did you get last time? what are they planning to give you this time? i was on epi-cmf and they have said ill prob get taxotere but not sure yet if its in combination with something else... my appt is on 28th of sept... but hoping to put off starting chemo till after 16th oct as i have a weekend away then with my nursing friends.

hi mandy
i think i remember speaking to you when i was diagnosed last time.... i had just gone back on the bank as a midwife and waiting my induction shift... was gonna stop practicing but got a new supportive SOM and thought id give it another bash... just called her yest to tell her i wont be doing it and she was really gutted but i somehow feel relieved now i know ill never go back to it again unless i do a RTP... just feel that i really fought to get into this career and it took me a long time to get to where i want to be and cancer might try and rob me of that too.

just feeling sorry for myself tonight sorry if im depressing everybody... sometimes it just all gets to me 😞

im sure ill be smiling again tomorrow Lxx

[Guest user]

Thank you lovely ladies for your kind words.
Lulu I send you hugs and positive thoughts. We WILL keep fighting and be thankful for our friends and family.
I go tomorrow to find out about chemo.
Tonight my OH told me we have to sell our home as I have no income. Nothing to do with him setting up his new house.
He tells me not to be angry and emotional as our son is in the house.
How did my hero turn into my enemy.
I will keep strong for my child.
Thanks again for your support xx

[iamok]

Hi ladies,
Just noticed the posts on this thread I started when I got my second primary.
Firstly I agree men are weak and full of their own needs. Don't get me wrong my Oh has stud by me throughout this but at times I wish I was on my own. He has been brilliant practically but emotionally just don't go there. But all this c... Has made me live my life as me. Nothing bad just I am a real social butterfly and love to be with people who make me smile, were as he is very antisocial and I have tended to stay in with him over the years all be it miserable at times not now I flit and I float and if he don't like it tough luck.
Stay wrong girls we are made of good stuff.
Lulu I can't believe you have a recurrence, I have been away for a month. You got your 2nd diagnosis the same time as my first in 09. I have followed your progress and admired your strength especially with you job. Inam also a nurse and midwife and nosing what we know has scared me so much at times, I can't believe how strong you have been. I wish you so well in this next round of this fight.
Take care Mandy x

[Lulu34]

Oh nats Iv just read your post. My daughters dad left me for another woman when she was 18 months old and in a lot of debt as he was a gambler. 10 years later my husband and father of my then 7 yr old son left me for another woman on 3 occasion the final time was the last straw when he kicked me across the room. But I was devastated at my marriage being over.

When I got cancer the first time in 2006 I was a single mum for the second time and used to cry myself to sleep at night not over having cancer but because he wasn't there to support me through it. But I had to keep reminding myself that if he was still here he would have been moaning that my crying was waking him when he had to get up for work.

I then met my OH 18 months later and he moved in with me and I got a second BC 20 months later in may 2009. He was very supportive for the first 6 months while I was going through treatment but then had redundancy hanging over him which made him really reclusive and uncommunicative for months eventually I asked him to move out In January but we were still engaged and seeing each other regularly.

Two days before I was diagnosed with my recurrence last month I found out he had been cheating on me too. I was way more devastated about the end of my relationship than the cancer. Just cannot understand what I do to deserve it all. Very hard to see positives but I am a positive person and I have a wonderful family and friends who I know will help me through my forthcoming treatment. Doesn't stop me waking up in the night or crying my eyes though.... we are only human after all.
Much love Lulu xxxxx

[Ninja]

"I am sure he left me as I was too needy after the cancer"

No, love, he left you because he is weak. My first OH left me because he couldn't cope with one of his kids being special needs and his new woman didn't have kids and was carefree. He told me that he didn't want heavy responsibilities. But she's had 2 kids with him now and one is, guess what? Special Needs again. Similar problems; it must be in his genes so he can't get away from it now.
Some men are weak and can't cope with anything that isn't an easy life.

It's awful having to support kids through a breakup, especially when they are at the difficult puberty stage, and all you really need is someone to support YOU.

Sorry to hear that you are on your own with all this rubbish. There are quite a lot of single women coping on their own maybe you could start a thread to find them so you could support each other?

Big hugs from someone who has been there.

[Guest user]

I was originally diagnosed with two lumps in my left breast in April 2008. I had chemo then a LD flap mastectomy followed by radio. My husband was fantastic during my treatment and was a real rock for me.
He walked out on me in May this year for another woman.
I was diagnosed with BC in my right breast in July 2011 had another LD flap and now have been told I have to have chemo. I am waiting to see my oncologist for full details.
I still cannot believe my husband is not with me and am finding the broken heart harder to deal with than the cancer. Maybe they are just muddled up into one as I am sure he left me as I was too needy after the cancer.
I have a 12 year old son who is struggling with his dad not living with us any more as well as worrying about the cancer. I am trying to support him but it is all getting too much
Has anyone else lost their love before their treatment?

[Guest user]

hi, my original diagnosis was back in 2000 left breast, I had a wle, chemo and rads,
then:
November 2010 diagnosed again new primary right breast, insisted on mx this time, also rads and chemo,

I really wanted a double mx but my surgeon wouldnt do it!!! he has agreed to do it at a later date, probably early part on next year,

why didnt he just do the bi-lateral? I have been tested for braca1 and 2 all ok. I just dont know how I could face chemo again, if it came back for a 3rd time....

I am really going to push for further surgery at my next appt, does anyone know on what grounds, apart from the fact my left breast appears to be healthy at the moment, they may refuse to do the surgery.

I must add that on both occasions I discovered the lumps myself mammograms completely missed them both.

[Lulu34]

hi vicky

bilateral cancer is very rare around 5% however about 40% in those with gene mutations.

since i posted my last post i have been diagnosed with recurrence in my left side in the pectoral muscle lymph nodes. the biopsy showed that an area of this new tumour appears to have been previously treated so it could be that this has been their since i was first diagnosed with the 2nd cancer in 2009 but didnt show on mammo.

think my team are also scratching their heads a bit and have my appt on tues to find out what the plan is but looks like surgery in the first instance.

keep me posted.

Lulu xxx

[aunico]

Hiya

I've been told today that I have a primary in my other side. I was first diagnosed December 2009 and through a long story, (starting from an optician noticing a lazy eye last July!) they found some secondaries, mainly in my liver. I was put on a drugs trial, given a PET scan which showed some active areas in my right breast and armpit, which was biopsied, and I was given the result this morning. My original, on the left side, was triple positive and treated accordingly, and my drugs trial used Herceptin, but this one is HER2 negative interestingly. Looks like there'll be an op but the doc will call me later on once he and his team have scratched their heads a bit.

The eye thing was first picked up in July 2010 which means I am thinking the right breast was there around the same time but never showed up on mammagram, or as a palpable lump. All feels very bizarre but am clinging to the positives. I am interested to hear about other people with similar experiences - bilateral seems to be more common than the docs care to admit. Mine muttered today about people getting twitchy and opening up a new can of worms!!

Vicky

[Lulu34]

Hi M

i had BC in 2006 and then a new primary in 2009 and it was a different type... the first one was a grade 1 hormone pos and the second was was a grade 3 triple neg (hormone neg).

i had a lumpectomy both times, although requested a bilateral Mx at 2nd diagnosis but was advised that wasnt neccessary, however iv since found out i carry the BRCA2 gene mutation and now gonna have double Mx next year.

i had WLE on 21st may and chemo 25th june.... exactly 5 weeks after my surgery.

good luck

Lulu

[iamok]

Hi Jeanette
I am trying to hang on to the holiday my kids are so exited, we are going with the rest of the family, and it's all they talk about.
I had my chemotherapy before surgery last time and felt ok a couple of weeks after chemotherapy, so you hang on to your dream, the kids will love it.
My emotions are all over but all I can think of is the sadness in their eyes last time, it haunted me all the way through treatment. I have worked really hard to make sure my kids are happy, as I lost my mum as a child and I can't bear the thought of it happing to them
Luv M x

[C_Jo]

Hi
This is my first post. I had my first primary in 2000 age 33 have just been diagnosed with new primary in other side. Will be having bilateral mastectomy which the docs think is a good idea. I have also been quite calm about it although I feel like the unluckiest person ever and feel realy bad having to put my family through this again. 4 teenagers!!! I have planned all the treatment so far around the summer hols as I couldnt bear to change the plans.
Hope all goes well
C

[J01]

hi there I too share your fate 2 times new primary other side ...14 year gap!!!!! holiday booked the whole 9 yards of dram!! I am half way through chemo and as long as I stay on track I will finish that then go on holiday ( bin saving 3 years taking kids to florida, they are 7&9 we have never had a holiday unless you count 2 weekends camping) then mx/recon then rads??? I am still holding onto the holiday dream and don't you let yours slip away just yet!! make sure you let them know you had to cancel out on your kids last time ...it sucks doesn't it all the if's and maybe's!!! the goalposts kept shifting for a while untill all the results ect were in,... don't give up the dream unless you REALLY have to I won't!!!!!! Jeanette xxxx

[iamok]

Hi
No my first was ductal, they have said this is a completely different type, just got the appointments for all my scans, feeling pretty scared. But sat out in the sunshine with the kids who are having great fun on the water slide.
Just told my mum and brothers and sisters, I am the youngest of 6 and we are all really close, phew that was hard!

[Guest user]

Hello & Sorry you find yourself here again!! Was you first BC of lobular type? They have an increased risk of coming back in the other side compared to ductal. I went 9 weeks from mx to Chemo due to a stubborn seroma. Wishing you all the best!!x

[marial]

Hi There,
so sorry to see that you have to go through it all again. It's so unfair. I had a new primary in the other breast 7 years after my first bc. I too had asked for a double mastectomy the first time, they did not refuse but convinced me it was not necessary.....(good treatment, hormone therapy, regular monitoring etc) Any way just to say I had op then chemo both times and both times I went on holiday during chemo. 10 days after the treatment and then had the following treatment 4 weeks after instead of the usual 3 weeks. I too did not want to let my family down. Now over a year later I am here to tell the tale and doing well.
Good luck xx

[Wandy]

Iamok,

Sorry to hear your news, horrid for you. I have just started chemo after a 7 week gap from my last surgery. Had WLE and 2 further re-excisions. I raised the timing issue with my oncologist and they seemed fairly relaxed about timings.
Obviously they will try and follow the NICE guidelines, but I think they will be flexible within reason to fit with YOUR life and plans.

I guess it would depend what your plans are? Trekking in Nepal probably wouldn't work, but seaside in the UK might??... would it be possible to start chemo and have the holiday in the down cycle?

I would suggest you talk it over with your oncologist or bcn.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Wandyx

[Guest user]

I didn't start chemo until 7 weeks after surgery due to healing problems then bloods showing problems needing CT and bone scans, and others have opted to delay for a few weeks for family reasons - guess it depends when your holiday is planned in relation to the date of surgery, but a few weeks delay won't be impossible.

[iamok]

Thanks for your replies cyber hugs accepted x
Thanks choccie muffin, well that scuppers that!
What's the longest any one has gone?
Thanks M

[ChoccieMuffin]

The NICE guidelines say chemo should start within 31 days of last surgery, but they like to ensure you've healed nicely before starting on chemo because chemo can slow down healing.

[PollyPocket]

Sending you loads of cyberhugs. I can't answer your question about time between op and chemo as I've had mine the other way round. Had chemi first and just has my mastectomy on 1st June. I asked my surgeon on Wednesday if I needed a double mastectomy and he said there was no reason for it.
I'm getting anxious that I wont be finished rads by the time I've booked our summer holidays too.
I hope you get some answers and reassurance soon.
Love and hugs
Polly xxxx

[Sam_BCC]

Hi jamok

I’m sorry to read of your recurrence, its sounds like you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I’m sure the users of this site will be along to support you soon.

In the meantime maybe you would like to talk to a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

[iamok]

Morning Ladies
I have been a member of this site since my original BC two years ago, I have followed discussions and found alot of comfort, however I have not posted often as I found it quite hard to talk during my last treatment, I ended up very very depressed due to dx and treatment it's a long story ......
Anyway on Wed I was told I have a new primary in the other breast and I am booked for 2nd mastectomy next Wed. This time I am strangley calm, but really angry because I begged them to do a bilateral mastectomy last time, but was told by the BCN, my biggest worry was about it coming back some where else and not the other breast LOL!!
Also I had to ring the breast clinic because I had not received a date for my annual mammo, so it ended up been 6 weeks late! The BC then wasn't picked up on the mammo, but on a US because I had felt a thickening in the breast.
This is a different type and I was offered a lumpectomy but have opted for the mx.
Last time I had chemotherapy first, so this is new to me, have not seen the onc yet but surgeon has said he thinks I will have chemotherapy. Gutted because it made me so ill last time, I was admitted 4 times.
I think I need some positive experiences and lots of cyber hugs!
Also does anyone know how long, is the longest time between op and chemotherapy because have a summer holiday booked and can't face telling the kids we are not going again, feels like de javu
Any way I have gone on enough
Thanks for listening
M x