Hi Helen, it is really normal to feel like you do, you've been through an awful lot to get to this point I'm sure.The first one is really hard as you don't know what to expect. I found that each cycle fell into a very similar pattern , so while still pretty horrid, the SE's were generally the same and therefore not so scary.Day 4 was my weepy day and in a few days you will start to feel more like yourself. Everyone is different, but I'd say go with the flow and if you feel like a day in bed, just do it! You sound a very caring person and its natural to protect your other half but this is perhaps one of those times in your life when you can be a bit selfish and I'm sure he'll understand if you need to have a good cry. If you haven't already done so, join a chemo thread where you are all going through it together. 4 years on and I am still in contact with a wonderful group of women who supported each other through treatment on BCC forum (April 2012). It's good to be able to run things by each other and when some people are up, others might be down and offering support.
And you will do it another 5 times but just remember to cross off one at a time. You will have ups and downs but you will get through it and remember to be kind to yourself. It's ok to feel c****y!
All the very best, sending you a big hug
Hi helen, I'm new on here and know just how you feel and I think it's normal, cry if you need too, I have. You don't have to face this alone, we are all here for you. Holding your hand all the way. X