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Waiting and nervous

17 REPLIES 17
sylviah
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

HI Belinda, ditto to what others have said. Busy, busy, busy is the way to get through the waiting game.

Mel is totally right, once you have the result you will feel better whatever the outcome as you then can have a plan of action. This forum and the lovely people on it has been a great help to me and I used the helpline as well, so jot those questions down and phone, it really does help.

Good luck with your results 

Sylvia xx

MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Good for you Belinda, taking the rest of the week off! So long as you fill your time with things to keep your mind busy!

Trust me when I say that you will feel better come Thursday, when you know something. The not knowing is definitely the hardest bit. Make sure you pamper yourself this week. A few treats can really be good for the soul! I remember 'results day'... I went to the hairdressers before I got my results, just to have a chat about other meaningless shizzle!!

I'll be thinking of you. I'm off this week too, as I've got loads of leave to use up! I might get round to sorting some washing later... I'm a crap housewife! I hate housework! Still, it won't do itself.

Keep popping on when you fancy a chat or need a shoulder. xxx
Belinda165
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Thanks Mel , you make so much sense !

I was feeling positive this morning so went to work - was ok until my team asked if I had a nice weekend , just managed to avoid the tears till I got to my car, anyway decided to be kind to myself and take the rest if the week off as holiday . I'm determined not to waste it and will take the advice of all the lovely people on this forum to keep busy tilli get my results in Thursday . Btw the rocking horse analogy is one I'll try to keep in my head ! Thanks again xxx
MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Belinda,

Try and think like your hubby... It's better than a 4 indeed! And they probably only talk in whole numbers, so wouldn't have thought to say two-and-a-half!! When I saw the radiologist, he didn't give me any kind of numbers; he just said it was a tricky one, and he wasn't sure.

The thing is, your mind will go from convincing you that you've got cancer, all the way to telling you it's absolutely nothing to worry about. You'll swing from one to the other, and sometimes be somewhere in between.

The fact is, you won't know the reality until you get your results, and all those mind games just cause additional stress in the meantime. I say this a lot; worry is like a rocking horse; it gives you plenty to do, but doesn't get you anywhere. I know it's inevitable that you'll worry, because we all do. It's human nature. But try to hang onto the fact that worrying is not going to change anything, so it's best avoided where possible!

I swear to you, when you know what you're dealing with, you WILL feel better about it, whatever the outcome. Trust me on that one. For now, please just do whatever it takes to get you through the god awful waiting game.

As for your new job and sick pay, there are times when money isn't too important, and this is one of those times. I went onto SSP, as I had exhausted my sick pay entitlement. I've had a few years of 'one thing after another', so I know the money worries. But truly, don't give yourself something else to worry about in addition.

Try and keep busy, occupy your brain with good things, and whenever you need support, come on here and you'll get it.

Also, the helpline is excellent if you want to talk. Take care and try to keep positive. Love Mel. xxx
Belinda165
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Laura and mel

Thanks so much for your replies , it's so reassuring to know others know what in going through. The point about focussing on the present is a great point I never realised how much we focus on what's happened in the past and spend so much time planning the future until now . Right now all I can think of us the plans I have with my husband - it's his 50th in June and the possibility we won't get to do them.

The radiologist said on a scale of 1-5 of likelihood that the lump is cancer I'm at a 3 - my husband trying to make me feel better says its better than a 4 - all I think of is that it's more than halfway on the scale.

To make things worse I started a new job 2 months ago and not eligible for sick pay - in my last job I would have had 6 months full pay ! 😡😡
MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Belinda,

I can't add much, but I echo everything that Laura has said. Laura and I have become like old friends over the past few weeks!

Laura has been waiting such a long time that she is a very good person to relate with about the awful waiting game. And trust me, it is the hardest part of the whole journey. Whatever the outcome, you will find the strength (if it's not good) to deal with it. The toughest part is now.

I won't repeat what's already been said, but do try to follow Laura's advice. And we will be here for you whenever you need support, or simply a good rant to get things out of your system.

Take care, Mel. xxx
pippadog
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Belinda

 

Sorry to hear you're on the waiting bus. I've got some calcifications in my left breast which were picked up in my mammogram, way back in November. I had a biopsy but because there isn't a lump its been difficult to get the cells. Anyway, my story could go on forever lol.

 

I know how dreadful this is. I've been on valium, sleeping tablets and anti-depressants because of all this, so I can fully understand the stress effects all this has. I know that everythings going through your mind at the moment. I've found the ladies on here absolutely womderful. I've posted several times a day and people are always supportive. The ladies here really know what they are talking about.

 

I think the waiting is one of the worst times, because you don't know where you are. Life seems like a roller coaster and your emotions are all over the place. I know this sounds a cliche, but remember most lumps are nothing to worry about. The ladies who wait for tests and get great results often don't post much after because obviously they want to put this nightmare behind them. But for me keeping busy has been really important. Sometimes when the days have been really bad and I don't want to get up. I do a 'to do' list of things to do in the day, to tick off. Sort of gets me through another waiting day.

 

Remember mostly you are not alone, theres a whole wealth of support out there and on here. Talk and get emotions out of your system, don't bottle anything up. But mostly give yourself loads of TLC. Also I have tried to focus on the present moment. Somebody said to me depression is worry about the past, anxiety is worry about the future, but try and be mindful on the here and now. I know its easier said than done, but it has helped me a little.

 

We'll be with you all the way.

 

Love & hugs

Laura

xx  

Jo_BCC
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Belinda165

 

Welcome to the BCC discussion forums, I'm sure your fellow forum users will be along soon to offer you some much needed support.  In the meantime our helpline staff are just a free phone call away if you need someone to talk to in confidence.  0808 800 6000 lines open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2.

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

Belinda165
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi , I'm new to the forum and currently waiting on the results of a biopsy following a mammogram and ultrasound last Thursday. I completely relate to all your symptoms lady lulu and I'm beside myself with worry too.

My head is all over the place and I can't think straight , just want to curl up in ball until next Thursday when I get my results .
MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi LadyLulu,

 

Just wondering how you are? It would be really good to hear how you've got on.

 

Take care, Mel. xxx

MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi LadyLulu,

Any further news yet? Thinking of you. Mel. xxx
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Waiting and nervous

Thanks you so much guys for your support.  Im sending big hugs to you all.

Not really sure what I am doing...i thought Id posted a reply but cant see it, so I apologise if i already have lol

 

xxxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: Waiting and nervous

Thank you ao much for your support it means alot.  Sending hugs to you all xxxx

MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hey,

Aww, thanks Laura! I have just been through this awful stuff, so I know how you all feel. I decided before I knew my results that I would try and help those who are in the waiting game. I wish there were more people on here who'd had good results! I wish they would stay to show people it isn't always bad!

Ok, mine was not great, but I still feel lucky and grateful. Trust me ladies, you do find a way to cope, whatever your news is. I will always be on this site as long as I am able to offer any kind of support. And I always long to see the good news posts! I hope yours are in that category.

Love and hugs, Mel. X
pippadog
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi Ladylulu

 

I'm also waiting for results. I had a biopsy on Monday and I'm waiting for results. I agree with everything everyones said. Your health is the main priority at the moment and at least with all the tests completed, you will know where you stand. The waiting seems to be the worst part. Well it is for me. Have you got a friend to go with you to the clinic and also to talk to. The helpline here are very good and also the forums. Mel is an angel and seems to respond to alot of us here on the 'waiting results forum'.

 

Big hugs to you and I will be thinking of you.

 

Laura

MelMc68
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hi LadyLulu,

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time, especially as your daughter is unwell... But what good will you be to her if you don't address your own health issues? I'm glad that you've been referred for scans and tests. This way, whatever the issue is, it can be addressed quickly.

It is so difficult for all of us with young kids, and I can imagine for you, it's hard to put yourself first, but on this occasion, you have to. Is there anyone who can help you with your daughter? Or anyone who could go with you to your appointments? It often helps to have someone there for support.

One thing I will say is, whatever the outcome, good or bad, you WILL deal with it! We all do! We find strength where we thought there was none. I have a ten year old daughter (as well as two kids in their twenties). Although she's not poorly, she has seen me go through various operations for different things and she's a real worrier when it comes to her mum.

I was initially told I'd need a lumpectomy. She worried, but we explained things so she would understand and not worry so much... Then I found out I needed a mastectomy. Telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

The fact is though, nine weeks on, we're all doing fine! She has coped extremely well and accepts the changes completely.

I really hope yours is a good news story, but be assured your daughter will cope. And so will you.

I have everything crossed for you. Please let us know how you get on. Best of luck, Mel. xxx
June_BCC
Member

Re: Waiting and nervous

Hello LadyLulu

 

Welcome to the forums, this must be a very worrying time for you but you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.

 

You may also like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.

 

Best wishes

June, moderator

Guest user
Not applicable

Waiting and nervous

Hi,

Really nervous, just waiting for ultrasounds in both breasts and then maybe a biopsy in my right.

I'm 36 and a single parent, my daughter is 13 and has been poorly for a few years now. I have sort of put my problems to the side with my daughter being poorly.

Back end of last year i started with pain in the left breast, i had numerous ecg as they thought it was the heart, thankfully it wasnt and beacuse of everything going on I didnt go back about the pain, although its still here. My left breast struggles to fit in my bra, but i didnt think nothing of it.  Then in december my breasts and nipples became extremely itchy and have ever since, I noticed a few weeks ago strange marks on my right nipple, still never thought nothing of it.  I nipped to the drs for something totally different and as we were talking I mentioned my nipple, 3 days later im at the breast clinic being checked, i never realised these could be signs.

The Dr found thickening in my left breast (no wonder it feels heavy)....what is thickening?  So im having ultrasounds on both breasts.  I've got cream to use for a bit and if the itchyness and the strange marks on my right nipple dont clear up then I am to have a biopsy.

All I can think about is my daughter, I can't be ill, she needs me well as she is poorly.  When she asked where I was going, I lied and will have to lie for the other appointments.

Sorry its long, just all happened so quick and Im confused, thanks xx