Just wondered how anyone copes with the waiting. I had my chemo Nov 06 to Mar 07, lumpectomy April 07, rads July 07 and been on herceptin, tamoxifen and zoladex since. Sounds daft but all that i could cope with and yes had my dark dark days but looking back now can’t believed how i coped if you’d have asked me how i thought i’d be today a year ago i would of said a wreck not leaving the house or i’d been in asylum as lost the plot.
Yet i’m doing fine - except i’m waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting for March and my 12 month mamogram and its awful. I feel like i had to cope with all the other stuff my body was going though absolute hell so my mind had to focus on pulling myself through - my body is back to normal now (apart from the extra pounds!) and now all my mind has left is MARRCCCCCHH yet at the same time i never want it to come - what if ??
Do i stay positive or do i start planning for just in case, arrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhh its driving me mad!!
I am not at this stage yet if only!!! but when I do briefly look ahead I dont want to be worring about the waiting yet again ha ha, Maybe you need to go back to the one day at a time syndrome until you get to March, it may help the time pass quicker I am way behind you but I couldnt possibly look 2/3 months ahead at the moment I would struggle with 2/3 days. Break it down into sizeable chunks that you can deal with.
Of course if you are really worried then contact your BCN for advice am sure you are just feeling like everyone else at this stage though that doesnt make you feel any better right soz.
Hope someone who has been in your situation posts to you soon, in the meantime sending love and hugs
Hi KayLou- yes, the annual review is very daunting, if not indeed scary. You have had the very best of treatment and are dealing with bc - took it all in your stride, and now need to relax! Easy enough to say the words, but I had a bad prognosis (still do), but just had my 5 yrly review and am free of breast cancer… The docs call it NED - no evidence of disease. Bliss!
Take the time to feel well and try to put the March review in the dark parts of your brain. You are well, except from some extra pounds. Don’t dwell on the what if’'s. because that is not going to do anything positive to help you live day by day. Just think of all the positives in your life, rather than the negatives, and enjoy whatever makes you happy - family, friends, etc.
Don’t even think of succumbing to those dark thoughts - we are alive and need to enjoy each day we have.
I felt the same - my mammogram was on New Year’s Eve and was 2 months overdue. When I went to the clinic on 10th Jan for the result I didn’t get to see my Consultant Surgeon on account of all the new referrals, so I got another on the team. I didn’t really know him as I had only seen him on a ward round before, as you can imagine I was not very happy that day and felt there were things I could not ask. There seems to have been an almighty cock up on the part of the appointments office at my hospital with regard to follow ups and I’ve heard the surgeons are trying to get it sorted out. I’ve been told I’ll see my own surgeon at the next one in 12 months, but I’m not holding my breath. I was shunted on to another onc for my last 2 appointments as well and I don’t think it’s good enough to be honest.
I am at the same stage as you, lumpectomy Mar 07, Chemo Apr - Aug 07, Rads Nov 07, am on Arimidex & don’t have to have Herceptin. My next mamo is also March & also like you, I coped OK, even carried on working all the way through & riding my horses (never give that up!!). Now I too have to go back in March & am feeling more anxious than I ever did last year.
Have an ache in my shoulder & breast which I have convinced myself ‘it’ has come back, but in reality I think it is more likely to be muscle strain where my young horse has been dragging me round the field!!
Hope all goes well with you & all other fantastic ladies on this sight, and here’s looking forward to March!!!
I thought I would add my penny worth as well. I was diagnosed in Feb 07, lumpectomy in March and chemo from Apr to Oct, and rads which finished in December. I am waiting for my first annual mammogram in March and it’s scary. I just keep thinking oh god what if they find something else, what am I going to do???I thought at this stage I would be able to just get on with my life but it seems not. Fingers crossed for us all…
I’m like you Jane, mast Mar 07, chemo Apr- -Sept, rads Oct/Nov, but I am now on tamoxifen & herceptin. That means I am still going to the hospital every three weeks. My next mamo is March. I also get aches & pains - currently it is an intermittent pain in my ribs just where the lump was. I have found my onc very unsympathetic in the past so don’t bother him with something unless I am sure about it.
Hi Ladies,
Can sympathise with you all.
Just had my second mammogram last Monday and guess what had two letters from the hospital since Monday from (you guessed it Cherub) the hospital appointments changing my appointment to see my surgeon end of January to February. Both letters exactly the same. I literally felt sick at the sight of the envelopes on the mat. I was sure it was to re-call me after finding something on my mammogram. The stress we have to put up with. I always try and prepare myself for the worst but it is soooooo difficult at times. I have aches and pains all the time and it is so easy to think its back. I am sure it will get easier in time but I think It will be a few more years yet.
Love to everyone,
Jugsy
there seem to be quite a few of us who were diagnosed around March 07, hopefully we can all get each other through this worrying time.
my timeline is almost identical to Roadrunners, and my treatment. Another coincidence is that like Roadrunner I am having discomfort and intermittent pain around my scar, under my arm and sometimes I can feel a little in my shoulder blade. The side of my ribs are ever so slightly tender to touch. The pain in my chest woke me up just before christmas and I felt sick. The gp put me on antibiotics and thought it was pleurisy. It felt better very quickly but Im still terrified every time I feel a little ache or pain in the area.
It may help you to know that many women even up to and beyond a year following surgery, continue to experience discomfort and even pain. This is often due to the healing process. However, it is natural to be worried about this especially after having a diagnosis of cancer, and you did the right thing by seeing your doctor for more advice, especially as you have also had an infection. I would also suggest contacting your breast care nurse who will be able to offer you more support and information about the discomfort and pain you are feeling around the scar, and axilla (armpit). She will also be able to talk with you about the fear you are feeling. Again it is very natural that you are worried about the breast cancer returning, and you are not alone in feeling like this. Your breast care nurse will be able to talk with you about any additional support available to you in your local area.
And I hope you are able to keep talking here on the discussion forums about how you are feeling and sharing support with others who feel as you do.
i have my first year mammagran in Feb - was diagnosed valentines day last year. i had a lumpectomy and all nodes removed and what bothers me is how painful will the mammagram be and will they damage the boob - i know they must know what they are doing but it still worries me!!!
I had my first mammogram on Tues after being diagnosed Xmas 2006. Like you I had lumpectomy but only some nodes for SNB. I too was worried about the pain as I still get twinges and aches now but although it was uncomfortable (which they are for anybody) it didn’t hurt after. They took 2 mammograms on each side.
The worst thing now is waiting until a week tomorrow for the results - it brings it all back the dreaded waiting for results.
I had to wait before I could go whilst they looked at them to make sure I was correctly positioned. I was longing to say ‘How do they look’ but nothing was given away. Only another 8 days!!
hello again,
all this talk of 12 months checks and I have no idea what they do!! I had a mastectomy and then a lymph node clearance. So what kind of a check do I get? As I also had 4 lymph nodes infected I had a CT liver and lung scan and a bone scan. Do I get these again?
Any advice gratefully received!
Pollyx
p.s. Tara Thanks for your message, it did make me feel better.
I just had my 3 yrs after mammo (Oxfordshire PCT only do it every 2 years) and it was clear, saw the surgeon yesterday and he said all is OK, after his usual grope. I do understand what it’s like very well, I get into such a state it’s like I enter a different realm of existence. One of cold anxiety that nothing and nobody can alleviate except the doc!
I was in a state last week due to my appt. being put back twice (to end March) just like Jugsy, so my husband said darnit we’ll pay so I had a mammo next day (yes very next day, incredibly) which cost £90 and is money well spent - it’s only the price of a meal out after all. The radiologist said it looked all clear. Then surgeon confirmed it. It’s worth it to me to pay - it seems wrong but there it is. I am now spared two months of worry and fretting.
Sorry Polly my nodes were clear so I don’t know what follow up you get. Nearly forgot - this is the reassuring bit - my surgeon said he’d never seen a lady at a follow up appt. where he’d found something she herself had not been aware of. Hope that make sense! (And he is 5 yrs off retirement.)
Good luck to us all
Sue XX
thanks shorty for the details of your mammo - that really helped. i’m hoping that I wont have to wait for the results, i think i’ll get them on the day. since dx i have been back with 2 lumps (harmless thank goodness) and the last time i was there my surgeon said that my yearly checkup must be on a wednesday as on that day they always have a doctor who can use the scanner if something shows up on my mammo so they can tell thats its harmless straight away as theres so much scarring that the mammo can think of as lumps - so hopefully i wont have to wait for results.
i’m still worried as i never found the lump the first time - it was detected on a mammo so i dont think i’ll ever be ‘happy’ having one again
sue - thats not a bad price to pay for a mammo - i thought it would have been dearer but really we shouldn’t have to pay anything - its unfair!!!