Hi, I’m 43 and found a lump six weeks ago. Have had a fibroadenoma before so wasn’t that worried at first. By the time I was seen in breast clinic on Thursday, the lump had grown though so was starting to worry. Nothing showed on mammogram, but ultrasound was ‘concerning’. Had 6 core biopsies done, including one from axilla. Surgeon afterwards told me very likely to be cancer and introduced me to breast care nurse. Expecting results on Tuesday and just can’t sleep or concentrate. Was supposed to work this weekend, but have moments of feeling overwhelmed and in the end couldn’t face work. Feel pathetic when diagnosis isn’t even confirmed yet. Have told my husband, but I have 3 children and don’t want to worry them until I have to. Maintaining normality is hard though when your stomach is constantly churning and you can think of nothing else. Somehow think it will be easier once I know and then can move on with planning what happens next, but reading other threads suggests the waiting isn’t over.
I had a bouquet of red roses and four biopsies done on Valentines’ Day. There were concerns raised by the surgeon. My appointment to discuss results is for the 23 February, because the surgeon said it will take a week for the results. I did appreciate walking out of the hospital with an appointment, rather than getting the results from my GP surgery, where waiting time for an appointment can be two weeks. One of the four biopsies was quite painful, even after the local anaesthesia. I went back to the waiting room with a 10 cm white bandage showing above my black T-shirt line, as my lump was high on the left breast. I could see my husband’s surprised and alarmed look, before I put my jumper back to hide the bandage. After a fitful night with little sleep I woke up before dawn. My curiosity took over caution. I scrubbed my hands then carefully took the bandage off. Below the 10x10 white padded bandage, there was the tiniest possible plaster, the width of a tagliatelle and about 3cm long. Looking at the tagliatelle, I stupidly worried about my booked Italian holiday. I got anxious about hair cut and hair falling, I got stressed by the ridiculous notion that my hair might regrow in patches and white (I dye my hair, I am 65) - and of course I am still waiting for my diagnosis, so why worry so much? My mind was going haywire and my stomach is churning. I wanted to say that it helped a lot to go through reading this forum, I felt I had some friends to keep me company. It is hard indeed to be faced with one’s own irrational fear. Well I wrote this to show solidarity. I never thought before, that waiting could be so hard.
Hello. I am going through the same thing so I totally understand how you feel. It’s the not knowing and that feeling that life is spiralling out of control. I have been terible this weekend, so full of anxiety that I am now light-headed. It’s the worst feeling in the world. If you ahve had the problem before, have you been checked regularly? If so, I guess if it is the worst case scenario, at least you have caught it early??? XXX
Roller coaster is right. Doing ‘normal things’ helps. At least it is only 2 more days until results but I suspect the anxiety won’t go away then. Thinking of you all too over the next few days/weeks
hi, I fully understand how you feel. Im also waiting for results on thursday and I just want to get there, find out and get on with whatever happens next. The not knowing is the hardest thing because if i dont know then in my head I start making it up and I daresay Im coming to the worst case scenario everytime!! And yes wine really does help! I had my biopsies done last Thursday, was a wreck until yesterday but feel quite calm today (so far!). Is this the lull before the storm? eeek! thinking of you all xx
Well ladies… The new week is here. Weird to think by Friday our lives will be different in some way. We’ll either be going into the unknown or, and here’s hoping this is for all of us, we’ll be reflecting on the past few weeks and evaluating our lives and how lucky we are to simply be here, breathing fresh air, alive, loved and supported whatever happens. This experience has made me value my life so much more. I saw a quote a couple of months ago which is in my head a lot: We have two lives. The second one starts when we realise we only have one. Let’s all remember that xxx
I’m a teaching assistant so I’m off work with the children too. Work last week was fine as I was so busy but now… I’ve just watched Call The Midwife on iPlayer and I’m about to watch Top Gear. It’s pissing it down outside and I’m either thinking everything will be fine or imagining what it’d be like to dead. Nuts!! Why do they call you with your results? That seems very impersonal and wrong. What if it’s bad news? And you get it when you’re home alone? I’ve got to go into clinic for mine. I’m dreading it more than I can even put into words. X
I’m in the same boat as you lovely ladies … Results on Wednesday after biopsy on lump and L Nodes … Good luck to everyone x
Hello Cocolily. I replied to you on another thread 
how are you feeling? As crackers as we all are?! Did you know you had your lump? What was the score with the lymph nodes? Did they spot a swelling? I had no idea I even had a lump until ultrasound stage. Mammogram didn’t even detect it as I’ve got big boobs and they are ‘very dense’. Bless them 
so it was all a bit of a shock as I was about to be discharged and the surgeon had told me the pain I went in for is ‘probably just hormonal’. Xx
I found a lump and they found thickening on my L nodes … I was seen within 2 weeks of finding the lump but this waiting is awful !!! I think they are pre warning me I have cancer … With what they have said… 2 more days and I will know … we are all in the same boat … I hope we are all ok !
Im also off work this week with the children. Thankfully my in laws are having them tuesday all day and overnight until Wednesday teatime, then my dad is having them thursday morning when i go for the results and he’ll have them overnight too so at least I’ll only have to put a brave face on for the afternoon and then Thursday night…well,I may need more wine! This sounds incredibly shallow and vain but my boobs are huge. If they have to take one I hope they’ll consider reducing the other one. The thought of leaving me with one this size is almost as bad as having one off altogether. Jeez the things that go through your mind eh?!
I’ve toyed with the idea of calling my GP to see if they have had notification already. I had my biopsy on my appointment day on the 5th Feb. I’m convinced the resuls are back already but I can’t bring myself to pick up the phone and start investigating. But then again I’d rather know asap than delay the worry and not knowing. Seems pointless. The sooner the better I guess?? My boobs are huge too and if they take one off I’m pretty sure I’ll develop curvature of the spine because I’ll be lop-sided when I walk!! I wasn’t going to have any wine tonight but bugger it. Lifes too short to make yourself even more miserable than you already are! XXX
Bottoms up :)
Well, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, it seems like mother-in-law has just days to live (she has severe dementia but is only early 70s) :smileysad:. Hospital took father-in-law into a side room today for tea and a chat (not good when that happens) and said there is nothing more they can do for her. They’ve taken her off the drip so it will probably all happen on Wednesday when my results are due and my son turns 16. Roll on Thursday!
Oh Rosie, really feel for you X
So today is the day. Have been awake since the early hours. Just want it over now. How are you all bearing up?
Good luck … Thinking of you
Rosie, that is just awful. You’ve got a lot on your plate… Goodness me, life can be so hard at times. Restless… I’m thinking of you and keeping everything crossed. I hope you get good news and please stay strong. If it’s bad news you CAN get through it. Xxx
So sorry to hear all that Rosie. As if this isnt hard enough as it is. I’m starting to get pretty jittery…I’ve felt okish the last couple of days but as Thursday gets closer I’m getting more scared. I’m supposed to be going into work tomorrow but I’m not sure how much work they will get out of me! Good luck Restless, thinking of you x
Hi, I have been waiting to see how you got on and hoping you was fine… I’m sorry to hear you have joined “the club” . I hope your treatment is started as soon as possible … And I do think the waiting is the worst ! My results tomorrow … Will let you know xxxx hugs to you x