Waiting for results

[Restless]

I mean was that Karen! Brain not functioning!

[Restless]

I haven't started another post. Would be nice for us three to stick together and others can join too. I don't want to lose touch with you too, as we will be going through things together. Your story is also similar to mine and I have a feeling my lymph nodes will be positive as the breast biopsy was suggestive of lymphatic invasion and I can feel a node in my armpit. Really I am already expecting clearance and chemo but I guess there's still a bit of me hoping for better news. Is your op 5th March or was that Alison? Hopefully I will get a date on Friday, hate all this waiting x

[Cocolily]

Hi Sharon .. My has gone to L Nodes already and I find out 2 weeks after operation if it has gone to more than 4 . If so body scan .. That's wjata freaking me out as I had a prolapse disc in October and left with a limp and weak legs .. Hopefully it is just the prolapse disc and not cancer there as well .. Chemo booked after recovery from operation .. I am calm but always am very anxious at night and still waking up very early ... Loads of paperwork to do claiming sickness benefit etc and claiming on insurance but that's done now so can focus on operation .. Have you joined a previous post or will you be making a new post and I'll join on. Don't worry we can all support each other xxx

[Restless]

Hi Alison and Karen, how are you both doing? Guess we should swap to 'recently diagnosed' thread now? I thought it would be easier once I knew but although I was really calm for the first few days, I now can't shake this feeling of anxiety. I'm still not sleeping and feel as if I'm viewing the world from a distance. I'm usually a really level headed and calm person, but this has really shaken me. Like I'm suddenly a different person. I know it doesn't help that I'm still waiting for more investigations . I have an MRI and a repeat lymph node biopsy tomorrow, and I think I'm really scared that it will be in the lymph nodes. Then I will need axilllary clearance and chemotherapy, and that scares me much more than the mastectomy, because of all the potential complications. Also still waiting to see if it's HER2 positive as then will need chemotherapy anyway. On the upside I will probably be able to have an immediate reconstruction either way which is a bonus. Just really want an op date so that it feels that we are moving forwards. Now I know it's there I want it gone! Hope you guys are ok. Sharon x

[Karen50]

I feel the same. Everything is moving along as normal and I just feel like I'm being dragged along with it x

[Restless]

Yes Alison, feels surreal. Everything is the same but everything has changed

[Cocolily]

Does anyone feel like they are in another world and like everything about your life is about to change ? Hoping we will all be ok and be strong for the next 6-7 months .. Alison x

[Restless]

Yes, I have told my colleagues at work and they have been great. Family and friends have all been really supportive. It's my daughter's birthday today, and I've been trying to put a brave face on things, but having a bad day. Just feel panicky all the time and can't relax. Worried the girls will pick up that I'm not my usual self, but I guess if that happens I will tell them then. Really hoping it gets easier than this

[Karen50]

Hi Sharon, pleased to meet you 🙂 Im..er..karen lol Feeling ok today. Concentrating on the positives. My work know and have been great. Now looking forward to the day when I may hopefully have the boobs of a supermodel lol Hope everyone else is holding up xx

[Restless]

It's Sharon by the way x

[Karen50]

and restless...I fully understand the meltdowns. I think we're all entitled to them for a few days yet x

[Karen50]

thanks all. Lke you Cocolily im beginning to think a full mastectomy may be better just for peace of mind really. Just told my older kids and they seem fine. We;ve stressed the positives. Im in Surrey by the way, live with my partner michael and have 4 children, 23, 21 , 10 and 7. (the youngest are definitely less trouble than the older ones!) 🙂

[Restless]

Sorry to hear your news Karen. It's a shame we are not all closer together. It does help sharing with others in similar situations. I had a bit of a melt down this evening after I have been trying to be composed for the last 2 days. Probably a response to the information overload today and confirmation of mastectomy and probable chemo. Guess I deserve the odd meltdown. I'm 43 and in Leeds, 3 children. Would love to hear from someone local too, but will keep in touch with this wider family x

[Cocolily]

Karen in so sorry to hear you have joined this club .. But the knowing is so much better than the not ! Wish I was having a full mastectomy I just want it all to disappear .. Worried with a lumpectomy it will come bsck .. Well we are all in this together .. How old is everyone and where are you based .. I'm 49 live in Kemt married and have 2 girls 12 and 17 and telling them the worst thing I have ever done .. Karen I'm still in shock day 2 of diagnosis so take it easy xxx

[angelteejay]

Karen, I am absolutely gutted for you but GREAT news that you don't need chemo and possibly radio. Surgery will be the best you can get and you get the body of a teenager to boot!!! You have to have a silver lining, I agree 😉 Sad for you to have to go through what lies in store but you'll be FINE and will come out the winner. I'd like us all to stay in touch and am going to figure out how to PM and swap contact details xxx

[Karen50]

Another new member here. Got my results this morning. I have invasive lobular cancer grade 1 (wont know the stage till they operate). Will see a surgeon within 2 weeks then op within 4 weeks of that. We talked about a partial removal but because the affected areas are a bit apart and they have to remove that plus surrounding tissue to leave clear margins it is most likely I will need a full mastectomy with possible immediate reconstruction. On the up side...they will probably reduce the other one and take tissue/fat from my lower half so I get the reduction I always wanted and a bit of free lipo!!! Silver linings and all that. (really trying to find some positives here!). If I have a full mastectomy then its unlikely I will need radiotherapy or chemo but if its a partial one then I will need radiotherapy but again, chemo is unlikley. I was kind of expecting it but there was a little bit of me that preyed that theyd say it was all fine. Have been in complete meltdown but calming down a bit now. At least I know what Im dealing with and the long term prognosis is good with the info they have at the moment. Great news for you Angel you must be so relieved xx

[jules_66]

Thanks all.  Feels better to know others have the same stresses as me!  Seriously think Im getting paranoid about it all. You all sound so positive and strong, hope I will be the same once the results are back.  I swear the not knowing is worse than the outcome, whatever that may be.  Im in Gloucestershire, so under the care of the team in Cheltenham.  Will keep you posted and come back when I need some words of wisdom 🙂

[angelteejay]

Thank you Restless. I think you are being amazingly strong not telling your girls and what a great idea to only tell them as you go into hospital. That way they won't have a lot of time to think about it and you ARE going in to make yourself better. We are so lucky to have such an amazing NHS. You will get everything you possibly need. And Jules, remember that 8 out of 10 lumps are benign. Easier said than done I know but you'll get through whatever life throws at you. Because you're a woman. A women ROCK!!! 😊 XXX

[Restless]

Hi Jules, your story is similar to mine, but that doesn't mean your result will be the same. We are all different. I said today that this week has been the toughest in my life, and I have some rubbish times before, but it is hard to get your head around. I have 3 children too, a 14 year old son, and two daughters aged 8 and soon to be 7 (her birthday is tomorrow). Am going to tell the girls once I have a date for surgery, as at least then I can say I am going to hospital to make me better. I don't think the length of time you wait for results is related to the findings, it is more dependent on the centre you are seen in and how quickly their labs and things work, so I wouldn't read anything into that. Where are you based Jules?

[Restless]

Angel - so pleased for you, what a relief. I have seen the consultant today who has said I will need mastectomy (as I have small boobs and a biggish lump) and probably chemo. It is hormone sensitive, so will have tamoxifen afterwards. Don't know about radiotherapy yet, depends on lymph nodes, which are being biopsied again on Monday. Talk about roller coaster. At least I know things are moving forwards now. Still feel shaky and have moments of feeling overwhelmed but am coping with great support from friends and family. Good luck and it would be nice to stay in touch. I think we can privately message, need to investigate!

[Cocolily]

This is what happened to me.. but it is never 100% until they get the biopsy back. I was diagnosed yesterday after a horrendous 7 day wait. Jules I do hope you are ok.. I'll be thinking of you.

[June_BCC]

Hello Jules_66

Welcome to the forums, this must be very difficult time for you.  I’m sure other users will be along to support you soon. 

In the meantime, maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer practical information as well as emotional support. The free phone number is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 10.00 to 2.00.

Best wishes

June, moderator

[jules_66]

Hi all

I am new to this Forum but appear to feeling as anxious as others.  I got referred to Breast Clinic last Thursday having seen my GP with a newly found lump.  She thought it was a cyst (as it was movable) as did the first Dr I saw at the clinic.  I felt quite calm about it all until after the inital mammogram they sent me back for a more detailed one and an ultrasound.  Nothing could have prepared for the bombshell that Dr dropped as I lay on the bed.  Not only is there a significant solid lump ( def not a cyst) but also a "bumpy" looking lymph node under my arm and calcification in the tissue.  I had the node FNA and a core biopsy on the lump.  They couldn't get to the calcification but I was told they would probably do a wire biopsy once the results are back.  Then I got taken into a small room with just chairs and a box of tissues (I knew then it wasn't looking good).  I met the original Dr and Breast Care nurse who said it was likely to cancer.  They gave me an appointment for 27th Feb for results but said they would contact me sooner if they got them back.  Everything else is a blur and this week has been the toughest I known.  I'm convinced the news will be bad and the thing that troubles me most is the impact it will have on my 3 daughters (21, 19 & 17).  How can I do this to them?  I haven't said anything to anyone except my 3 closest friends and my husband (who is burying his head and wont talk about it at all).  Does anyone know if the longer the results take is a good or bad sign?  Anyone else had/got similar symptoms to me?  The waiting is soooo hard, I can;t eat or sleep and keeping up the pretence everything is normal is getting harder and harder.  I just want to know (well I think I do!!)

[angelteejay]

Hello everyone. I got the all-clear. My tumour is benign and has probably been there for a long time but because my breast tissue is so dense it was never detected, even on mammogram. No treatment, just yearly screenings. I almost fainted with relief and I still can't quite believe this nightmare is over. I know for some of you, however, this nightmare is not over and will carry on a while longer, until you are all better again xxx I would like to stay in touch with you so please PM me if you can so we can exchange contact details (are we allowed to do that??) Good luck to Karen today and also Petal, on another thread, who is only in her twenties and gets her results today too. Love to you all xxx

[Karen50]

Thank you. Just feel sick right now but want it it over with. This waiting sucks! X

[Restless]

Completely understand Angel. Keep us updated, will be thinking of you x

[angelteejay]

Thank you. Feel sick with nerves. Everything going through my head right now xx

[Cocolily]

Me too.. Good luck x

[Restless]

Thinking of you Angel and Katen today.

[Lucy_BCC]

Hi Cocolily
I am sorry to read your news, along with the support you have here our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support for you on 0808 800 6000 and lines are open during the week 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2

Here's a link to further support services from BCC and information about treatments which you may find helpful over the comings weeks and months:

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/treatment

Take care
Lucy BCC

[angelteejay]

It's still a shock though Cocolily even if you had been pre-warned. But now you know you can process it and accept it and know you can get all the treatment you need. X

[Cocolily]

yes 5th March. Feel much more in control now that I know. Feel in shock even though I had guessed by their reactions. Hope everyone else is holding up… xxx

[Karen50]

great news Rosie, only sorry that you cant celebrate it more what with everything else you have going on x  Im sorry your news isnt so great Cocolily xx

[Restless]

Rosie - that's great news, so pleased for you. You have enough on your plate without this x

Cocolily - so sorry. At least you know the plan now. Do you have a date for surgery? Hope you can rest a little, be strong x

[Rosie42]

Thinking of you, keep strong!

[angelteejay]

Rosie I'm so pleased for you. Cocolily, not so... Thinking of you x

[Cocolily]

So glad you are ok Rosie42.

Sorry to say I have joined the "club".. Lumpectomy chemo then radio… I will come on again later today, just a bit hectic at the moment. x

[Rosie42]

I'm relieved to say my biopsy came back as benign but I'm on annual screening from now on due to significant family history. Thank you for your support lovely ladies, the waiting is horrible. We are still waiting for mother-in-law to die which is very hard to watch.

Rosie

[Cocolily]

Thank you .. I know I keep waking up at 4am every day for the past week .. Keep strong Restless x

[Restless]

Awake again! Thinking of you today Rosie and Cocolily. Hope your news is good x

[Egret]

I will be joining you with that glass of wine!

[Cocolily]

I'm at 1.45. and breathe ………x

[Karen50]

so sorry it wasnt better news Restless. Ive been checking throughout the day to see how you got on. But you know what youre dealing with now and yes you will get through it. We all will one way or another. Ive told my older children (23 and 21) and theyre ok. They are very much 'well we dont know for sure yet'. My youngest are 7 and 10, the 10 year old being autistic so not sure how to approach it with him. Maybe for once the fact most things go over his head is a good thing but my 7 year old is very different. She is so perceptive and always know when Im upset. Im off to the pub tonight. Will be thinking of you all over the next few days. Im in Surrey and would love to have a get together. xx what time are your appointments tomorrow?

[Jo_BCC]

Hi ladies,

Yes, there is a Live Chat session running tonight but it is only for those with a secondary diagnosis of breast cancer, that's where the cancer has spread to another part of the body.  General Live Chat runs each Thursday evening between 8.30 and 9.30pm, everyone will be made most welcome.  Just follow the link if you haven't tried Live Chat previously.

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/community/chat

Kind regards,

Jo, Moderator

[angelteejay]

It's a hard age Restless, 14. I've told both my girls, they are 16 and 9. I had to because I'm not good at hiding stuff and knew I'd be in a state after the biopsies. Maybe you can ask for advice on how to tell the girls? There's a live chat on here tonight I think? Or call the helpline? I'm in Peterborough. It would be good to meet up. We've got a little group going on 🙂 good luck to Rosie and Cocolily tomorrow. I'm keeping everything crossed for you both and restless try your best to relax tonight. Wine choc chips xxx in that order xxx

[Cocolily]

I really feel for you and your family… and I hope you all find the strength to deal with your journey.x hugs

[Cocolily]

Good luck Rosie, Angel and Karen… and Restless I hope you have a more peaceful night tonight xx

[Restless]

Angel, my husband is struggling, I have told my 14 year old son, who is very fragile. Have not told my daughters aged 8 and 6 as I just don't know how to. Rest of family I guess will hear over next few days. We are strong, we w.ill be through it x

[Restless]

So Rosie and Cocolily tomorrow, Angel and Karen Thursday. My thoughts are with you, we're united in our fight. Let us know where you all are, would be great if some of us can get together x

[angelteejay]

Oh no Restless 😞 I've been thinking about you all day and checking for an update. I'm so sorry you've joined the bloody club. But it sounds like your people are making some very good plans for you. How have your family taken it? I've just bought a bottle of rosé. I'll raise a glass or three to you tonight. You sound amazingly strong at the mo... I've heard that women react like that a lot. It's the finding out and dealing with it rather than the not knowing I think. Lots of love to you xxx