I’ve been hovering around for a few weeks and you all seem so friendly and comforting and I just wish to offload as I have to bottle up a lot at the moment.
I found a lump on my left breast just above my areola nearly five weeks ago now, and rightly scared me something rotten. My partner felt it also so went to see my doc the next day. She did a thorough exam and didn’t seem too fussed as she said it was smooth and similar to a cyst. It DID ease my mind and said she would send me to the breast clinic to have it checked out. I felt good going home.
Then fast forward a week and my blasted mind starts to doubt the doctor and my anxiety kicks in. I found another very very small hard lump on the side of my breast and my nipples are sore to touch and left armpit is feeling bruised. Now, I actually don’t feel the lips that often as I know how my mind works, I struggle with anxiety and know the signs. I’ve had that under control near enough for 3 years but I’m slowly loosing control. Ever pang sends my mind into overdrive and I just can’t switch off. I’m still waiting to be seen. I’m low priority. But every day for the last five weeks I don’t want to miss a single phone call…just in case.
My partner is great but he’s such a worryer that I have to keep a lot back otherwise he becomes very emotional and it almost feels like he’s given me a very bad diagnosis…I just want to know. Before my mind completely betrays me. I know I can’t control the waiting time as high priorities take the appointments and rightly so and I can’t change whatever is going on…the stats are in my head, I know the stats are on my side but doesn’t stop the possibility still being prominent in my mind that I’m the other percentage. I know my mind is not doing me any favours but I can’t always switch it off. That’s the issue. Some days I’m fine, I can be realistic and crack on but those other days are hard to snap out of.
Thank you for listening and letting me just blurt it all out.
The lump I initially went in with hasn’t changed size I don’t think and not massively sore, if at all, I think it’s sometimes sore through bruising. (Prodding it!) but I’ve definitely got a sore left breast the last week, more like an ache…like a pulled muscle etc…
Morning Kellybean,
You have come to the right place. Everyone here understands how you are feeling and the waiting is very hard for all of us.
Do you have a date for your breast clinic appointment? You are in the process now, you spoke to your gp you did all you can do right now.
Maybe you could talk with your gp to help you manage your anxiety.
Let the breast clinic know that you would like to be considered for a cancellation appointment if you are able to attend at short notice.
In the meantime, try and focus on the here and now and do things that make you smile. IF there is anything sinister going on there are excellent treatment options.
Keep coming on the site and seeking support. We are all here for each other.
Take care
X
Hi Kellybean, it’s very natural to feel anxious when you find a lump, and the waiting just exacerbates it. You could, as someone has suggested, ring and ask for a cancellation at the breast clinic. You could also go back to your GP as you now have additional symptoms and ask to be treated as urgent. In light of your history of anxiety I think this should be considered. There’s information in pdf format on this site about benign breast conditions which you may find useful. Unfortunately it is very much a waiting game, especially if non-urgent. Until you get scans and biopsies done I don’t think a diagnosis can be made. Hopefully your GP is dead right, and I really don’t think she would put you at risk. Perhaps you are right - poking and prodding probably hasn’t done any good! I sympathise with your efforts to protect your partner, so feel you need to be extra good to yourself. Lots of little treats - coffee with friends perhaps , or a massage? In the meantime we’re here for you. Please feel free to unload, and keep us informed of what’s happening. Sending big hug and best wishes. X
Thank you for your responses, it was so difficult as I had emails to say I had replies and my wifi has been down for a few days and I live in the middle of Dartmoor so I can’t access ANYTHING. shocking how much I’ve become reliant on internet and my phone. What on earth did I do before it haha.
I’m going to wait till the end of next week then call my new doctors (I’ve moved) and express my newer concerns and conditions as I feel very concerned now. So thank you for advising that as I never really thought of doing that. I always worry about wasting people’s time.
I phoned two weeks ago (breast clinic) and they did inform me that I would either receive a letter or a phone call with a next day appointment etc or at least short notice so I assume that that is similar to the cancellation you speak of? Unfortunately I’m limited as my boss yesterday informed me that if it falls in a day I’m at work then I won’t be granted the time off as we are short staffed for the summer, which is fair enough but difficult to hear for myself. But heyho, no point worrying about something that might not happen, I might be lucky and have an appointment on a day off
Thank you so much all of you for your responses, it’s just good to have different perspectives and hearing others. I’m a very realistic person but struggle to stay on that path of thought when it involves myself. Typical.
I think I’ll struggle this week as my children are on holiday with their dad so I don’t have them running round my feet creating distraction but I know my partner has stuff planned so I might be able to switch off after all. I’m certainly trying.
I will be on this site a lot. It helps. So thank you xx
Hi Kelly,
No, you are not wasting anyone’s time & I think your boss needs a good talking to!
Although it’s most likely all will be well, this must be sorted out & you are the priority.
Is your boss aware that this is a ‘cancer’ related referral’ so to speak, as under the law employers should make reasonable adjustments, including time off for appointments - whilst at work that day or at least, changing days off. TBH, I would go to go off sick for the appointment as a last resort.
It is quite usual for the NHS to call with appointments now, as slots need to be filled, but do call them to check on slots as well.
Do let us know how you get on & hope this is resolved soon.
ann x
