Hi Twidz
I was diagnosed last year, had mx, chemo and rads. My OH was great at looking after me, both retired so he had nothing else to do, well that’s what I told him.
Anyway, he died earlier this year of bowel cancer, very quick 2 weeks after diagnosis. I was soooo angry at him and I am only now getting over this anger. I really don’t know why I am angry but I am, as I said not quite as bad as I only cuss him every other day instead of all day every day! Probably a good psychiatrist could explain why.
Three years is a long time for your husband to be angry but anger is easier to express than fear or grief. Have you actually asked your OH why he is angry? Maybe he hasn’t really sat down and thought about it or refuses to accept that his anger is to cover the fear. I’m afraid it’s probably a man thing and he won’t talk about feelings. He has needs, you have needs, number one being treated as a wife should be not just someone to be abused then used to meet his needs. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but...
For a lot of years I worked from home so I understand this part. People think because you are at home all day, then you should have the tidiest, cleanest house, and should have plenty time to spend walking dogs, chatting on the phone, visiting neighbours, etc. I know it doesn’t work that way – my OH would sometimes come home asking what’s for dinner, yeh right, I’ll see what’s in the freezer that I can knock up quickly. If he didn’t like what was available there was always the chippie! His choice. He gave up asking and just ate what I made, assuming I had had time to cook fresh. Nobody starved. Daughter would occasionally moan but she ate what was on the table or went hungry.
Look after yourself first of all, the kids won’t be undernourished because you have bought a couple of ready made meals. Kids are surprisingly tough, as for your OH well he’s a big boy get him to do the cooking at the weekend to give you a break, he might even enjoy it.
Take care
Maggie
