Welcome to everyone starting chemo in January.. we are now the "" January Jems""

[Windysarah]

My goodness, I've just caught up with all the latest posts. So so sorry to hear you're having to go through all this again Joyce. It's not fair but it sounds like you are staying positive and are going to put up a damn good fight. All the best for the start of chemo, hope it's not too cruel to you. Xx

[rhondacat]

I'm so sorry Joyce you have to go through Chemo again, hoping and praying this lot of Chemo will kick it's ass once and for all...good that you have caught it early, but it still really sucks f### cancer..
Wishing all you girls a safe and happy Xmas and wishing you all good health for the coming Years.
Merry Xmas friends. xoxoxo

[Irenee]

Hey Joyce....So relieved for you...this has been caught in the bud and can be dealt with. A friend of mine had a similar experience and she is fine. love and hugs Irenee xx

[Morwenna]

Well Joyce,
I guess the news is "as good as it could be", and it sounds like you have caught it way earlier than you might have, thanks to that little heart-shaped not-cancer lump!

You go girl! Jump back on that chemo train and carry on regardless! xxx

[Airlinelady]

Okay, I have some news that I feel happy with. The PET scan I had was very detailed and covered me from the ear-line to my knees. I do have some small pin head cancers on my lung and also the one in the lymph node, but apart from that, I am cancer-free. I will be back on the chemo trail starting next week to get rid of the small pin heads on the lung. My Doctor is not worried about the lymph node for the time being.
I am ready for chemo again. I should add that I feel very confident that I am getting the best care and treatment.
One thing really stands out for me. I only saw my Consultant because I had a lump in my armpit. He was very sure it wasn't cancer but he said that he would organise an investigation for my sake and to ease my mind. I took my sister Jackie Robins into the room and we saw the lump which was probably .5" or 2cm in width. It was made up of hardened blood (and was not cancerous at all) and bless my soul was the shape of heart!!! But, do you know, hiding behind the 'heart' was the very tiny cancer in my lymph node... little MF... it was biopsied and shown as a cancer, hence I was sent for the PET scan... so, that innocent 'heart' shaped lump was showing the way to more nasty things. Business as usual at least now, I know what chemo looks like.... as before.... not pretty..... but do-able. Seeing the Oncologist tomorrow or Friday and then next week 'Port-o-cath- fitted under my skin and then let the chemo begin! I will keep you updated... please don't be sad for me, it really could have been a lot worse... Jxxx

[Morwenna]

Thinking of you Joyce. We are all "in your pocket" today! Hugs xxx

[Leelaloo]

Hi Joyce,

Just wishing you all the best today.  I will be thinking of you.  Lots of strong hugs.

Lee XXX

[Airlinelady]

Thank you everyone, I didn't want to upset anyone here with my news, but at the same time, I knew that I would not get platitudes from you.  I am trying to stay focused and not be a dribbling mess.  I have had to comfort my children who are 13, 18, 30, 31 & 34, so I have had to stay as calm and level headed as possible.  I keep repeating the words "It's business as usual"  (until we find out what we are dealing with).  I am scared of the PET scan as it takes so long 40 mins x 2, so will be taking a Diazepan 2mg to help me with that.  I have also been taking one Zoplicone 3.75mg every night to help me sleep and not lie there thinking and thinking....  I am heartened by the positive stories I have heard, I am determined to kick this MF cancer up the butt once and for all.  For me it's not just about "thinking positive" (I hate that term) but also about getting mad and getting even... grrrrr....today I feel like a tiger.... but tomorrow I may be a helpless kitten... fingers crossed and marching onwards and forwards...  Thanks for the love....  Joyce xx

[Irenee]

Dear Joyce...My heart goes out to you.....this could happen any time to anyone of us....it really is pants. Wishing you all the best and I will be thinking of you on Tuesday...love and hugs Irenee. xxxx

[Janan8]

Hi Joyce, I'm so sorry to hear your news, it is devastating especially dealing with children as well. I will be thinking of you and sending all good wishes your way that all goes well and this can be dealt with.  Rose, good luck with your surgery, it will be worth it in the end.  Love and hugs to everyone Janxxx

[rhondacat]

Hi Rose, all the best for your upcoming surgery, not long now & you will be a new woman... & this terrible part of life we've been through will be behind you...& you will have the boobs of a 21yr old again 🙂 hugs Rhonda xx

[rhondacat]

So sorry Joyce you are going through this, so scary, it's what we all pray will not happen again, we've been through enough already, please keep us up to date with with your results on Tuesday we are all here for you, our shared journey... Sending positive healing thoughts your way... Try not to imagine the worst, I know this is hard not too... Hugs Rhonda xx

[Caroline60]

Hi Joyce, I am in a group on twitter who have been through the same situation as you. The lady who is at the centre of the group is called Jo  - (edited by moderator - please send a PM for twitter name)  - she has just finished chemo as had lymph node involvement after been 5 years post breast cancer. She is doing really well. 

I am so sorry to hear your news. It must be devistating. My thoughts are with you. 

[Morwenna]

Oh Joyce, Oh no, that's terrible news.
It's what we all fear of course, but. Bloody hell, words fail me just now.

I can't remember what your original diagnosis and treatment was, but hopefully this is a regional recurrence that can be contained and treated again.

Just sucks that you have to go through this again. And your family.

I'm sure you will be in all our thoughts as you go through the tests, find out exactly what is going on and have a plan to deal with it.

You can do this. Try not to dwell on worst case (yeah , right?!). Many many women have to have more than one bite of this particular cherry and do ok. You will be one of them.

Keeps us posted and big hugs to you!

Rose

[Airlinelady]

I feel so bad ladies, but I hate to tell you that I have a cancer in a lymph node.  Having a PET scan on Monday and results Tuesday.  I thought it was all over and life was getting back to normal, then had this brick in my face.  So tough.. having to tell my 5 kids horrible news.... again... I am trying to stay focused... but gee whiz it's so tough.  I don't know what they will find and what he will say on Tuesday... so girls, I know that you are all doing okay, which has delighted me to read... I may not have written much, but have always read posts with interests.  We started this journey together and I wish you all the very, very best.... Joyce xx

[Irenee]

Good Luck Morwenna...I know how you must be feeling....it is a big decision...I am sure all will be well..It sounds like you have a good team looking after you. xxx

[Morwenna]

Hi everybody!

Well, excited and terrified here: I am booked for Prophylactic right Mx and bilateral reconstruction (Muscle-sparing TRAM flaps) January 7!!

I have to have a new breast surgeon, as my original BS doesn't work at the same hospital where I'm having my surgery. It's a day-long operation with my Plastic surgeon as the main operator, and two other plastic surgeons to assist ... one for the morning and the other for the afternoon. I guess I'm feeling pretty overawed .... I'm taking a whole day's theatre time, plus four surgeons, and however many anesthetists and support staff for the day. It is covered by our health service, and I feel quite humbled at the though! 

I DO hope it all goes right and I heal well and will be happy with the result. THere's an awful lot of effort going into this! 

I see my hematologist next week for any last thoughts regarding my platelet production and coagulation issues, then I meet the new breast surgeon the following week. It rather feels like I'm on top of a steep ski hill and about to launch myself off!

I have just started trying to prearrange to be on short term disability pay as my surgeon is recommending three months off work, and I used all of my accumulated paid sick time having treatment last year! 

My dear father, on his own now since Mum passed away last April, is badgering me to come and "convalesce" with him in England. I know he really wants to see me again. and I him, but I've told him I cannot commit, but can always book a flight last minute if the stars are in alignment! 🙂

I feel like this might be the recovery leg of my "journey". Friends have told me it is tough, but they haven't regretting taking this step which feels restorative rather than destructive.

Phew: Remember to breathe! Can I start wishing you all a wonderful Christmas if I don't speak to anyone before then!!! 

Hugs to everybody xxxx

[Irenee]

Hi Curley Chris... I could be having the same op as you sometime next year.  I had to pester a bit to get things going and I am due to see my consultant soon. Hope everyone is ok. Hugs to all Irenee xx

[Caroline60]

Hi all, it is normal to feel knackered. The broken sleep is normal as well. My eyesight has been slightly affected by the treatment. So glasses for me now for reading and comp work. I have a 24 inch scar accross my chest. As mentioned before, no recon for me. 

Sarah, good luck with your surgery. My colleague had the same op and it was very successful. 

XXX 

Caroline

[Curleychris]

Hi to all Jan jems,

havent looked hear for a while.

I am waiting surgery early next year Rt Tram flap with reduction and lift to the left side.

Anyone had this?

I have my mammogram again this week think everything is ok but still nervous.

Hope all are well and taking care. I am back working fulltime which is good , feel as if I am getting some semblance of normality back. I am knackered most of the time but tell myself it's normal.

[Irenee]

Glad you are keeping busy Jan and getting things sorted. I for one will make sure the water is turned off when we are next on holiday. I'm sure you will be welll pleased when it's all sorted out. Best of luck in Nov. for your appointment....you would have heard by now if things weren't o.k.  I went dancing last night and it was so nice without a wig. One song we danced to was 'Enjoy yourself it's later than you think' lol. Good Advice.  Hugs to all Irenee xx

[Janan8]

Thank you Irenee. It all feels a bit surreal at the moment but I spent today putting some posters up and cheap rugs on the floor and now it feels a bit better at least.  Online photo books are a great idea, I have been triple backing up all my digital photos in the last couple of weeks. Sadly some of the pre digital photos didn't make it, so I will be scanning those that did.  If you are going on holiday - turn the water off first! At least it's been a big distraction as C-day anniversary approaches. Just waiting results of mammogram now, follow up appt at beginning of Nov but as I haven't heard anything, I figure that's good news.

Hope all is well with you all.

Love 

Jan

[Irenee]

Oh Jan that must be awful for you...so sorry to hear about your house but you are so right BC does put everything in prospective...It will be nice for you though when it all gets sorted..a new start. I have been organising my photos and what has kept me really busy is making photobooks. You can do them on line and they really are worth doing.  Sorry to hear about your mate Morwenna who has had a recurrence and hope all goes well on the reconstruction...please keep us informed. Love to all..Irenee

[Janan8]

Hi Jems, 

Thinking of you all especially with reconstruction and surgery happening now and hoping all goes well.  It does seem strange to think that firstly we are nearly 2 years on and yet still major decisions to make. I'm really sorry to hear about your teammate Morwenna too. 

 I have just had my latest mammogram and waiting for follow on appointment but am hoping all will be well. I have just been organising my photos and they very definitely fall into pre and post BC!

On another note came back from 2 wk hols to find water pouring through house, ceilings falling down and so once we dry out, house will have to be basically rebuilt. Still living in it and kids think it's a big adventure although the novelty of topping and tailing in bed is starting to wear off (much furniture was destroyed). Everyone keeps telling me we're being very calm and philosophical about it all but in the end it is all just stuff and compared to the last two years and BC it really is nothing at all.  So BC does put life in perspective and hey on a brighter note I'll have a new house by Christmas!!

Love Jan 

[rhondacat]

Morwenna, I'm so sorry one if your teammates has had recurrence, something we all worry about & pray won't happen again to us.
You are going so well with all your events for fundraising, the dragon boat racing would be such fun. We have similar events and walks for a cure here in Australia in case you forgot that's where I live LOL I always sponser my friends in these walks & events, but as I always work weekends in my business I can never partake in them. Keep up the excellent work your doing. Cheers Rhonda xx

[Morwenna]

Rhonda, you are absolutely right. That IS the most important thing, but it'd still be nice to at least look a little bit "normal"! 🙂

I have our CIBC Run for the Cure next week. I've actually had a wonderful response to my appeal for donations, and raised $1255, which hugely exceeded my expectations! I find I am still unable to run, due to my Achilles tendonitis which flares up if I try, so I'm walking, alongside my dragon boat team of breast cancer survivors, named Sistership. We have had a wonderful summer of paddling twice a week, and 5 weekend festivals through the season. Although I'm not able to join them, in October the team is attending an international festival of dragon boat races in Florida, which is entirely made up of survivorship teams! If you Google Breast cancer dragon boat Sarasota you'll probably find all about it, if you're interested 🙂

Unfortunately one of my teammates HAS just been diagnosed with a recurrence 😞 ...... but although she is booked for surgery two days after the run next week, I am sure she will RUN the whole 5k! I've never seen her walk anywhere if she can run, and she is well into her 60's!

Well, stay well and stay strong my friends, which is what we tell eachother after the Breast Cancer Challenge races at the festivals. It's certainly an experience!!!

[rhondacat]

Hi Sarah, Caroline, Irenee & Morwenna, nice to hear from you all to keep up with your progress, sorry Morwenna you are getting so stuffed around with your recon dates. It's nearly 2 yrs since we were all diagnosed, one would have hoped that this journey would be behind us all but sadly we still have a long way to go 😞 my recon side is a lot smaller than my real boob so I'm having to put a push up in my bra to make them both look symmetrical , I haven't gone for nipple re-con, can't face more surgery. My surgeon has recently been sued by 3 women and he has had to pay out hugely to all as they won there cases against him for botched up reconstructions, so I have lost faith in him. His job was to make mine symmetrical & they are far from it. Wishing you all the best & most important stay cancer free.. Hugs Rhonda xoxo

[Morwenna]

Hi from Canada!

I think it sounds like many of us are in the same situation. I've seen a plastics surgeon last Spring, and he's agreed to prophylactic Mx and bilateral TRAM flap recon. Back in the summer I was originally told DEC 16 as a provisional date. Then I got a call to say they had a cancellation OCT 15 if I was interested? Er, Yes, I said. So they called back a few days later to tell me they couldn't coordinate all the medical staff they need for that date. 

Apparently, for my surgery they need a Breast Surgeon/General surgeon (Because the PS is not allowed to actually perform the mastectomy!) and then TWO Plastics guys as it is a bilateral. The date had come up via a cancellation but she had been booked for a single recon.

-Oh OK. 

-So, it will be a date in January, but don't worry, you are next on the list!

-What happened to December 16?

-Ah, we gave that date to another lady who had been waiting longer ... 

-!!!???

So then last week they call again:

- We have a date, January 6!

- OK, that's fine .....

- But it is still reliant on being able to coordinate the three doctors .. I'll call you back to confirm, but if it doesn't work it will be a date in February!

So this surgery is beginning to look like a mirage, always on the horizon. I'm like you Irenee; Starting to think I should just book a mastectomy, which my BS had said she "can do any time", then they only have to get TWO surgeons lined up for recon, as three seems impossible!

Then I think, Hells Bells, that's another surgery, with another recovery time ..... why the hell should I? 

I have also wondered if I could put up with just being flat, but symmetrical at least. I'm waiting for an MRI at present, as I'm not convinced that my lumpy scar isn't a recurrence, despite the ultrasound not showing anything suspicious. Most of my original tumour did not show up on imaging!!!

If I DO have something new growing, I would definitely shelve the idea of recon. ..... Not worth the bother. But I think I'd still like the other one off!

Sigh. 

[Irenee]

Hi Ladies....so nice to hear from you all. I think you have done the right thing Caroline and I would love to be breast free....I know I have been on about recon...but really I just want to get rid of this dangling breast that is so getting me down..just to get rid of that and I would be balanced. My surgeon keeps saying he is too busy at the moment   Know what you mean about worrying about bc recurrence Sarah ...every so often I get a bit scared especially when I go for my 6 month check ups ..which like you Rhonda was last week...glad all was ok for you..I was ok too but I do worry about secondaries as I am TN. Any way hugs to all and keep truckin'. Irenee xxx

[Caroline60]

Hi Sarah, I had lobular - and read the resesrch on it coming back to the healthy breast. My decision was based on this and the chances of reoccurance. I had been thinking about it for 1 year - with on going decussions with my surgeon. He asked me again 10 minutes before the surgery - if I wanted to go ahead with it. I had already made my mind up. No recon. 

Regards

Caroline

[Windysarah]

Wow, how brave Caroline. It's really strange you should write that. I was just thinking yesterday how I'm starting to feel scared over the fact I got BC in one breast so why wouldn't it come to the other and was thinking should I just have the other removed. My BC was oestrogen based and I was on the pill so enhanced the oestrogen but this has been stopped and I am on Zoladex implants now to suppress my ovaries so in theory my chances are lower but you can't help wondering and fearing, can you? Was this the reason you went for the second op Caroline?
Sorry to hear you're still suffering with the cording Rhondacat 😞

[rhondacat]

Hi everyone, I hope your all doing well, staying healthy and enjoying life. A very brave decision Caroline, I hope your feeling OK and recovering well from the new surgery. I had a scan, Mammo & blood tests last week, got the all clear yesterday for another 6 months. Reconstructed side is no better still have cording a mild capsular contracture, my surgeon say's it's not worth the risk of replacing the implant as it could happen again & risks infection, so I just have to put up with the tightness and uncomfortable feeling. I'm not as brave as you Caroline. Will continue stretching it and hope in time it eases a bit. Loving life. Hugs to you all. xoxoxo

[Caroline60]

Hi Lovely ladies, I hope you are all very well. I have bitten the bullet and had a left sided mastectomy and implant removal on the right side with no reconstruction. It was a decision I made after Herceptin finished this year. Op was last Tuesday 16th of September. I am now officially flat chested - which I not had since I was 10. Anyway, I am hoping this is the end of my BC journey!!!

Regards

Caroline

[Windysarah]

Hope you're all well? Just thought I'd update you that I raised £500 for Race for Life and my team as a whole raised £1400! It was a wonderful event, something you should all go to if you can even if you just go to spectate. I am well, really enjoying my new job. Just so pleased they gave me a chance even though they knew I was a recent cancer patient. Beginning to get back to my pre cancer weight now which is another plus! Hope all those with reconstructions planned are having smooth rides. Xxx

[Irenee]

The wheels are in motion for the reconstruction...feel better now that I have come to a decision....It is so true that it's a long road we are travelling and though we have all had different problems we are all united by the journey. That was a big decision to make Caroline..hope all goes well...Jan I am suffering from the heat and feel quite unwell this afternoon. Rhonda hope your problem gets sorted and I do have a little bit of tightening under the arm but nothing much. Best wishes to Curly Chris and Morwenna going to have same treatment as me. Hope you are well Sarah and all the other Jems. Irenee xx

[Janan8]

Hi Ladies, Thinking of you all especially with so many big decisions to make.  This is a much longer journey than I expect any of us anticipated at the outset.  Good luck with the reconstruction etc and big hugs

Jan

ps anyone else struggling with hot flushes and the heat? Have you found anything that helped? would be really interested to know. In the scheme of things it's a minor worry.

[rhondacat]

Hi Caroline, that is a big decision and a very brave one to make, it couldn't have been easy for you. I wish you all the very best and hope it goes well. It has been a very long journey that still seems to keep going. Hopefully one day this can all be behind us.Take care xoxo

[Caroline60]

Hi Ladies, great to hear how you are all doing. We have all been on a very long journey of discovery and healing. 

I have decided to have a left sided mastectomy + getting my implant out. Im going boobless as from the 16th of September. Its a decision based on the cancer I had. I did a lot of soul searching and made the decision. 

Good luck to you all and keep well. 

[rhondacat]

A quick message to say HELLO to you all, you seem to be keeping very busy & doing amazing things, so much happening, hard to keep up with you all. Good luck Morwenna for Dec. think positive I'm sure it will be OK also Irenee and Chris with your reconstructions coming up, I'm sure you will all go great and end up with a gorgeous set of boobs 🙂 it will be great for you all to be finished. Thinking of you too Sarah and Jan and hope your doing alright. My latest Blood test show high sugar, so need to have a GTT glucose tolerant test next week and showed low VIT D still, even though I take it daily, I need to treble my dosage, I still have re-construction breast tightening pain and underarm cording issues, but otherwise doing fine. We will never be the same again, but as long as we are enjoying life to the fullest and make the most of every day. 🙂
Hugs to you all... Rhonda xoxo

[Morwenna]

I have been given a date: December 16! Provisional on them being able to book another surgeon to assist, and if my hematologist agrees, I suppose!

Gulp!

[Irenee]

Hi Jan/Morwenna....Got to get my head round reconstruction this week and sort out an appointment.   I too am trying to lose a bit of weight....doing lots of exercises and dancing. Hope you are well and enjoying the summer. Best wishes to all Jems. Irenee xx

[Janan8]

Hi Irenee glad your mammogram results were good, that is such a relief.  Good luck with the reconstruction, this is such a long haul and you are right we do need to take care of ourselves.  Hope you enjoyed your granddaughter at half term - as much as it was difficult at times, it was my girls that got me through. What do you say to your 3 year old when she is insisting "but I want you to do it Mummy!"  Definitely recommend the Hay House summit.  I was in hysterics watching the video last night and laughter is such good medicine!

Jan

ps hair coming back thick, dark and very curly still. I keep looking at photos before and after BC and I really am a different person!

[Morwenna]

Ok, eagle eyes the moderator has deleted my name from the above post, but if by any chance somebody does want to sponsor me, please pm me, and I'll whisper it to youall! 😉

[Morwenna]

I saw my PS on May 13. He has agreed to a bilateral flap reconstruction, but tells me that I will probably end up with a B cup size. Yay, I'm currently DD/E, depending on who is measuring, and hate my one big boob!

He did inform me that the failure rate for flaps was 3-5%, and with my clotting history "it would be reasonable to assume a higher rate" in my case.
He wasn't able to quantify that "higher rate", but didn't try to dissuade me, so I signed the consent form. GULP!

Now I'm fretting. A failed flap would probably be a worse result than bilat mastectomy with no reconstruction. OMG.

But ....... nothing ventured, nothing gained eh? He is planning to discuss my case with my hematologist, who I'm seeing early July.

I was happily telling myself that nothing is probably going to happen this year, but a friend who saw another surgeon in the city has been told 4-6 months!

I did ask for a rough timeline, but my guy said he didn't really know, and to ask his secretary as "she is in charge of waiting lists". Time we left she had gone to lunch!! Maybe I will give her a call 🙂

Meanwhile m trying to get for and lose some weight. I've joined a BC survivors dragon boat team, and we have several weekends away at festivals around the province and into British Columbia (also "BC"!) We train twice a week, so that is great fun.

I've signed up for the CIBC 5k Run for the Cure, in October. I did 5k this morning on a treadmill, but couldn't run. Time was 45 minutes, so I know what I have to try to improve on. Last 5k I did took 40 minutes, but that was in 2003, so if I can reach that or better I will be pleased! 🙂

I'm also accepting sponsors if anybody is interested. Go to the website and look for *************** Donations can be made online ! 😜

[Irenee]

Hi Jan, How's the facelift doing?...I am envious of that. Glad to hear you are saying 'no' and taking it more easy...we have to look after ourselves...we have been through enough. I haven't been on here for a while  as I was waiting to hear about a  mammogram and I have had our granddaughter for a week as it was half term. Well I finally did hear about the mammogram after a month and all is ok....So now the big decision...reconstruction or not. (I am fed up with the floppy boob) lol.  Might give the Hay House World Summit a try. I did hear a talk onthe radio about it.  Hope the weather soon improves.

Best wishes to all.  Irenee xx

[Janan8]

Hi Sarah, Irenee & Chris, 

Thank you for your support.  On the upside my second diagnosis means my skin is tightening, which is manageable at the moment and hopefully won't get any worse and will give me a free facelift to boot!  There always has to be an upside. 

Good luck with your reconstruction appointment Chris and well done for doing the race Sarah - that really is amazing.  I was planning to do the BCC Blenheim walk but wasn't up to it this year, however am working towards it next year.  I might just have to force myself to have a fundraising coffee morning instead - it will be so hard eating all that cake! 

I am still struggling with the fatigue and not sure which health issue to blame it on, but I'm slowly learning to pace myself better and am finally starting to say"no!".  That is so hard but I guess it's a lesson to learn.

if anyone is interested there is a Hay House World Summit coming up, which is an online event running for 10 days from end of May.  You have to register but it's free to access some of the talks/conversations with Hay House authors.  It was on for the first time last year and helped me get through my final round of chemo. Lots of inspirational people to listen to. 

Big hugs to you all

Jan

[Curleychris]

Windy Sarah,

You are amazing doing a 5K run my niece will also be running for Cancer research for the 2nd time this year.

I am walking more but don't think I am upto 5k yet.

I still have days when i feel completly drained but getting there.

Saw my surgeon and also have scar tissue that mkes the scar feel rather lumpy. Have been referred to a plastic surgeon for reconstruction and have an appointment on the 10th of July.

Hope you are feeling a bit better Jan sorry you have more to cope with.

Onwards and upwards for us all.

Keep up the singing and living. 

[Irenee]

Good Luck Sarah xx

[Windysarah]

Thank you so much Irenee. X

[Irenee]

Hi Jan and Sarah

Sorry ti hear of your diagnosis Jan....I can imagine how mixed up you feel, and I hope all goes well for you in the future. My hair has come back a different colour...I was a redhead and now it's dark brown. I am still waiting for results from my latest mammagram. I will visit your website Sarah and make a donation. I wish you all the best for your run but don't push yourself too much. Take care all Jems. hugs Irenee xx