Hi Dudders and welcome to the BCC forums
Along with the support you will soon find here I am posting a link to further support you are free to access from BCC such as our 'Someone like me' telephone and email service and 'Younger women together' events where you can meet others who share the concerns you have:
Please also post in the younger women's forums threads here too:
I'm having surgery on the 12th of this month, one day shy of being exactly a month since I first found the lump. Everything has happened so quickly, which to be fair is a good thing. I saw the GP the day after finding it, and had my first trip to the breast clinic a week later. They were honest and I left knowing I almost certainly had breast cancer. The consultant surgeon was on holiday and the consultant I saw said I would come back the following week to confirm the biopsy results, book surgery and have my pre-op, then come back the week after to meet the surgeon. I saw a different doctor when I went for my results and he was skirting around the subject - to be perfectly honest I'm almost sure he'd not done this before (give a cancer diagnosis I mean) and the CNS led the discussions really. We had a chat and then I was sent off with a pack of leaflets and my notes for pre-op, and was told I didn't have to meet the surgeon.
My diagnosis was 3cm, early stage (no number specified) IDC, grade 3, 3/8 ER+, 2/8 PR+, HER2 result not in. Proposed tx is WLE with FEC/T chemo (with he herceptin if +ve) and radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
Out of the blue, I had a phone call at 4pm on Wednesday offering me a cancellation - for the following day! It didn't take so much thought to turn it down, as I have a 7 month old baby, and I hadn't prepared anyone to look after him and it was incredibly short notice for my husband to be off work. Then they also told me I needed a full bone scan which hadn't been mentioned before. Thursday morning I pick up a voicemail that the surgeon does want to meet me and wanting me to go back to the breast clinic the day before surgery. That afternoon another call booking an MRI. Over a week after surgery was booked I still hadn't received an admissions letter. I initially thought it had arrived this morning, but it turned out to be an appointment for a CT scan - cleverly booked for the day after surgery. I'm taking it all in my stride, but it's all very disorganised. Two working days left before surgery and I haven't got a clue where I'm going!
The time since my bone scan has been horrible as I've had to limit contact with my son. My heart broke to have him cry and not be able to just have a nice long cuddle. Today he refused to look at me for hours and then when he did he wouldn't smile at me 😞
My worries right now are practical ones, of how I will manage with my boy through chemo. I see people say you manage, and I will if I have to, but being primary carer for a young baby must be a fairly infrequent occurrence? Not only will I have to contend with being physically weakened, but what about the risks to him from me. This has only been a DAY of not being able to care for him properly, how will we do months and months? My husband is exhausted as he works 5.5 days a week, and outside help is limited. This definitely needs further discussion with the doctors.