Waking up this morning without feeling that FEC has kicked ten bells of crap out of me. It was my last one last week and it sure meant to leave a lasting reminder. However, I woke today after a horrendous 6 days, now feeling as though I am entering the world of the living, where I so desperately want to be. To go to work and hold my own, to be at home and enjoy my family, my kids, my life without being annoyed by everything and being so bad tempered all the time.
Actually writing this crying because I know today a significant corner has been turned. Yep I know that it will take time to regain strength, both physically and mentally but I am now steadily on that path.
Heading off to work now with a hugh smile, in and out. Actually life is good 🙂
going for our evening walk with the dogs and feeding the ducks and swans , the babies are starting to appear alongside their mothers nad its a wonderful sight to see, that and the moon shining so brightly betrween the branches of our neighbours tree = beautiful xxx
Being in the garden tending my plants, courgettes, beans, tomatoes. So much promise of green life and growth! Blue sky, birds singing and my puppies playing in the trees. Makes you glad to be alive x
Son's dress rehersal for Oliver Twist play. I get to see it tomorrow. He is Oliver!
Hearing full details of daughters netball tour of South Africa - i want to go too!
Sadie Xx Xx
My son getting married today, it has been a lovely day even had a glass of champas. The sun shone, days been fab, fec 5 tomorrow, but least I've had a few good days.
Still having some energy after a walk up and down hill to the shops! Am wondering why? But don't plan to wonder too much - just hope I feel the same tomorrow!
Making an appointment for a haircut on Saturday, 3 weeks after my last chemo!
Not something i ever dreamed of back in Feb after my 1st!!
Well it was yesterday actually but couldn't resist sharing...
I made paella for OH and myself and to be honest, it wasn't my best but it was edible (just) - I resorted to playing the 'cancer card' and told him that I thought it was delicious and must be due to my change in tastebuds ha ha. It also means that I'll probably get to do less of the cooking in future - RESULT.
Watching race for life, so proud of my daughter and friends. Helped daughter this afternoon to decorate granddaughters 4th birthday cake for tomorrows party, made flowers and butterflies to go on it, had a lovely time. Hubby cooked dinner and watched you think you can dance with big smile on my face seeing wonderful dancers having the time of their lives and being happy. Alls right with the world today!
Daughter won player of the tournament for county netball.
Finally managed to get warm.
Had a good snooze.
Long chat with old school friend!
Looking forward to nice weekend!!
Sadie Xx Xx
Chatting on skype to my son and 2 year old grandaughter this evening. She is so adorable and still knows who I am even though it has been a while since I have seen her 🙂
trying hard, trying very hard to think of something. Nope, still trying. Day not over yet though. Oh thought of something. Reading The Crimson Petal and the White on Kindle. Brilliant so far.
wot made me happy today was having my son home after a week in repite god i missed his chatter and his need for cuddles every 5 mins and to top that i got my grandson tonight im one lucky lady
Thanks CM. No, current tumours all still intact and being shrunk by poisons. Full node clearance and resection planned post-chemo. Final biopsy was last Friday, got results thus morning, just before the bugg*rs admitted me again.
I've made cupcakes for granddaughters birthday on Sunday finished sons wedding card, got ribbon to finish the corsage on my hat for wedding on Tuesday. Lovely things to think about, to hell with Wednesday fec not thinking about it. And I'm not even going to wear wig for wedding haven't worn it hate it it's not me, so wearing a lovely hat and then going bald for reception, and I'm so happy doing it, just being me!!
What a relief, Ninja. You could do with a bit of reasonable news. Have they taken it out yet or is that still to come?
They have finally (drum roll) FOUND MY PRIMARY!
Small ductal jobbie that packed its bags and went on holiday to the Land of Node when it was still too small to be detected.
coming out of the 3rd EC Fug and organising to spend a few days with my best mate 🙂 and a change of scenery. So pleased about it, something to look forward to and won't be lonely in the daytime! :)))
I have been using Kingfisher natural toothpaste since the start of TAX and coupled with the Difflam have not had any problems that I can't cope with but... I don't eat anything spicy or crunchy until the end of week 2 as it just aggrivates everything. Very boring but this is where the rice pudding etc come in 😞
Happy to PM if you want a chat!
Is Taxol any easier on the mucositis than EC? I really don't think I can go on with this mouth; it's just burning all the time like a graze with salt and gravel being rubbed in. I'm using the Difflam etc etc but I'm gonna tell the Oncy next week that it's back to being as bad as cycle 1 again. It keeps me awake. He's aware of it this cycle and precribed the Diff again but really it's just making me tearful every day right now.
Please tell me that Taxol isn't so harsh on the old gob front...
Well done both.
PW, Tax will be "different". Some find it easier, some find it harder. Some just find it "different", and no-one can tell you how you'll find it, but good luck with it anyhow.
Last FEC today! Hoping this will be the last time of feeling really lousy and that the weekly Taxols will be a bit easier (please don't tell me anything different, I want to have some hope!).
I had my last TAX today so I am over the moon! This time in 3 weeks I will feel more like my old self and food will taste normal again! First stop will be a meal with friends at the local Indian, yum!
Whilst I have been off I have discovered that my cat snores which really makes me laugh. He has also managed to pick up a tick, he is too feisty for us to try to treat him ourselves so he is off to the vet with Hubby tomorrow to get it removed, gauntlets are at the ready for insertion into the cat basket!
My cat's like that - always squawking for something. I've spoiled her so much she'll only eat certain brands of chicken breast now - none of that cat-food muck! She's also quite neurotic and bad tempered and hisses a lot -she's actually a lot like me! Love her, though! She'll only come to us when she wants to...naughty tortie indeed!
Hope everyone's OK on here,
Wish I had a cat. Used to be terrified of them but love them now. Very tactile. Love dogs too but all i have at the moment are koi carp ( put coy carp but that's not quite right is it) and they're not cuddly, but I've trained them to come for food when I ring the bell. Might try getting them jumping through hoops next.
Hipchick - I had a good belly laugh at your grandson!!!
What made me happy today.... lounging in bed and was absolutely starving hungry but couldn't be bothered moving to go downstairs, then I heard our cat Nala screeching the place down clearly dying from starvation and I thought I'd better get up and go feed her and then myself..... went and fed said beast, turns out she wasn't hungry, she just wanted lots of kisses and cuddles with me :))
As soon as I sat down to my laptop she as all over me furring me up and "talking" to me.
Hearing the word "stable" after having 2 other treatments not work! and feet are calm on the Capecitamine today so am off to town!
Watching "You've been Framed - "celebrities " - yes, I know I'm a sad individual, but it was SO funny. I was trying to eat my dinner at the same time and laughed so hard, I kept having coughing fits!
Reasonably productive day at work, bloods good to go for tomorrow's feccing, and Hipchick made me laugh out loud - grandchildren are really priceless. Oh and my son sent me a message to say he wants to set up a time for me to talk to my grandaughter in Southampton on skype - small step but that really makes me happy (I know I have the other two nearby, but I love all three the same of course)!
Hipchick, thhat is so funny. Out of the mouths of babes...
happy cos i'm in bed with my replacement kindle. Joy.
Hipchick, yet again you made me smile widely and chuckle hard - you're one funny lady, I love it.
I'm also happy as my physio managed to 'ping' my 'twang arm' today, so more relief and my 'YMCA' routine is almost perfect. Bring on the macarena and I'll be cheerleading before you know it ha ha!
Hearing what my just 5 year old grandson said yesterday.
"Mummy I've something in my willy"
Mum looks and sees he's discovered his ba**s. Tells him they're part of his willy.
" They feel like a brain. I always knew I had a spare brain and now I know where it is"
Told my daughter he's spot on, that's where most of them keep their brains.
I am stuffed. I have eaten enough today to feed a small country, but I'm finally beginning to feel human, the FEC fog seems to have lifted.
A friend has just been offered a really good job (which he has accepted, so I'm excited for him), and it's a lovely day. And I've had hugs and cuddles from all my girlies. There, that's what made me happy today.
Spending the afternoon with my grand-daughter aged 16 months. She has been talking nineteen to the dozen in her own language for a couple of months now but today I noticed a big difference and was able to understand some of what she was saying. Lovely hug and cuddle when I left and she tried so hard to say Grandma.
what made me happy today was going to my brothers where his 3 beautiful grandchildren awaited me and the sheer delight on his 2 year olds grandsons face as he proudly did a wee on the potty then because of the applause and "well done " he tried so hard to squeeze another one out , i swear the veins on his neck were sticking out and he was one amazing shade of red !!beautiful moment xxs
We were going to get chickens two years ago just before I was diagnosed and then did not feel like taking anything else on. I have been today to pick up "the ginger four" and the girls are clucking away in their new hen house.
Finding the slug that has been hiding in my greenhouse and munching my lettuce and evicting it to next door's garden - for the chickens ha ha!!
What made me happy today - coming through the SNB (sentinal node biopsy for those who don't know the lingo) as a day patient and seeing my wee has turned blue. Also happy that I didn't need all the books and mags I had taken as I actually enjoyed the peaceful environment of the ward I was on. I got a bed by the window and the sun kept bathing me in sunlight as the day passed by.