Oh Flutte - I'd have been speechless too.
Is there a rule that says women stop having sex at age 50? No-one told me
This was said to me by a work colleague just before my mx in May (after I had already had lumpectomy, slnb and anc in March):
"You'll be fine, its not as though women our age have sex any more so its not as though you need them for anything; and besides I'm flat chested and it doesn't bother me"
I was 51 at the time and now 52.
What would you say to that? I simply could not respond to her.
I love threads like this. I find them really interesting (and occasionally funny too).
Debs - the weather has a lot to answer for... my mum blamed my post-treatment fatigue on the weather! I could kind of forgive her for that as she blames lots things on the weather but for a doctor to say that to a patient who is in a lot of pain is so unprofessional. (Mum's since been through radiotherapy herself and now realises the weather has nothing to do with post-treatment fatigue).
Interested in your comments about your GP's words about your diagnosis Katherine62. I too would have found "horrendous" to be an very insensitive word. However, I think that had she used the word "lucky" to anyone with a cancer diagnosis this could be misconstrued and potentially upsetting too.
I got heartily sick of people saying "good that they've caught it early". No medical people said this to me but quite a few friends and family did (with scant knowledge of the details of the diagnosis) - my response was blunt: "they haven't".
In fact I found the placatory "Pollyannaisms" far more irritating and upsetting than the (very occasional) harbinger of doom. I just felt that the Pollyannas were trivialising the situation and failing to recognise the seriousness. In my view the patronising "cheer up, it could be a lot worse" type of comments are far more about the person saying them than the person in the receiving end.
"You've got to stay positive" was another annoying piece of (usually unsolicited) advice. Yeah right, can be a bit difficult when you're feeling cr*p.
Don't even get me started on the people who suggested homeopathy. I heard an excellent retort recently which I wish I'd thought of at the time.... "so, if homeopathy works, then I can get drunk more quickly by watering down my wine?".
Having said all of the above, even if people say things that are upsetting, they are generally meaning well but are maybe a bit clumsy about expressing how they feel about the situation. Looking back over the whole experience, I'd rather people said something (even if it is clumsy) rather than fail to acknowledge the reality by saying nothing.
However all my fingers tips have turned bright orange because of the pounds of turmeric I'm throwing down my gullet. The pre-op team are going to think I'm on 60 Rothmans a day!
Weeannie.... that REALLY made me laugh! Black humour indeed.
Bless all you ladies for this thread.
When waiting to see the oncologist for the first time my daughter piped up with "never mind mum, just think of this as the beginning of the end!" . . . . . Laughed so hard I almost fell off my seat!
That's right, just a touch of the old lumbago I expect. SOME PEOPLE!
Hope you're feeling brighter now
Oh my GP, normally very good, phoned up when she got the biopsy results and said 'sorry to hear your horrendous news'
How about a little bit of 'that's a bit of a bugger but good, they've caught it easrly, you're lucky, they'll sort it out for you' etc etc.
Fantastic ladies,thanks for those comments. Someone also told me to eat lots of beetroot and id be cured...lol...the recommendations of what we should eat to make all our problems go away is sometimes on the verge of insulting. .I know people who eat every good food going and no junk and still sadly get cancer!
...... my friend knows this great homeopathic remedy...maybe you could call her...
(Er no thanks I'm going defcon 1 on this puppy we'll plant flowers on its ashes! )
ha ha your making me laugh ladies.....the one I keep hearing is "well, whatsaname was back at work the week after surgery and she worked all the way through chemo" urrrm.... must be wonderwomen!
Let me know if there is anything i can do? ( no find something you can do and just do it,we wont ask for anything)