Hi. So sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I finish Herception in April and am feeling quite scared. I feel relatively safe at the moment but will feel very vunerable once it has stopped. I suffer from a lot of joint pain (probably Arimidex) and this gets me down. I hate the fact that my life has irreversibly changed and cancer will always now be part of my life. It's difficult to explain how you feel to someone unless they have experienced it - you just sound so pathetic and paranoid. I'm waiting for an appointment with PS to discuss reconstruction. Really not sure what I will decide to do yet but feel it is an important part of me 'moving forward'. I wish you well and hope you find a way of coming to terms with stuff.
marriage not intact, am working but its odd being back in work as nothing has changed but i have! Spoken to councillor about feelings and he says only change things that you were not happy with before, i think your/my feelings are natural once treatment finishes and i think we apply too much pressure expecting things to be different and be hit with realisation but it does nothappen that way. its weird how things quickly go back to :normal: like the year did not happen and it does leave us thinking what was all the about/for there must be a reason and when we cant find that reason we question why
I was diagnosed in April 2009, had a mastectomy in May, chemo over the summer and have just finished my Herceptin in September 2010. Instead of relief and euphoria I am feeling completely down and abandoned which I know from reading various posts can be quite normal.
I am seeing a counsellor but just feel so torn about the future. Should I change everything turn my world up side down, move jobs; get rid of husband and generally make the most of what ever time is left. My more rational side keeps telling me to get a grip, but all this does is leave me unable to cope; I keep bursting into tears; feel angry at my husband for not understanding and generally feeling all the balls are falling at once.
I could go on but just wanted to vent some feelings and see if people out there had gone through the same and come out at the end in the same job and marriage intact.