67.3K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Who have you told?

85 REPLIES 85
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Jomo how u doing? Xxx
Bottyboo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I was part of the early screening program and had a clear mammogram on 10th April last year. Scary to think if I hadn't checked my breasts it would have been two years three months before I would be called back for the next one at the earliest so whilst they are fab they do not replace self checking xx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

It is def better when you know what happens next ,uncertainty is torture .
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

You will deal with it no matter what is thrown at you, what choice do you have?Keeping everything crossed for you .
CatKent
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I'm trying to convince myself with the 'I know I can handle.....' 🙂 I'm just wishing the next 36 hours away, so I'll know next steps.

CatKent
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Thanks Jill. I know I can handle whatever Wednesday brings.

Re: early screening trial - the consultant radiologist I spoke to estimated that if I hadn't been invited as part of the trial, it could potentially have been 4 - 5 years before I was screened. Puts it into perspective for me. I'm very grateful.

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Ooh "proper cancer",God help you if you have that ....cancer is cancer,its scary. Good luck with your results .My cancer was found through mammogram as part of early screening programme too,probably saved my life.
CatKent
Member

Re: Who have you told?

For me, part of the reason for not telling more people is that there are then less people to make daft comments (despite best of intentions). Near the start of this thread, I mentioned that I'd not told many people. I told my manager at work, out of necessitation because of time off for appointments, etc. Generally my manager has been great but on two occasions has mentioned friends who, in her words, 'had proper cancer'. I'm still not 100% clear on what 'proper cancer' is? I was at first diagnosed with Pleomorphic LCIS, and after a WLE I was then advised that tiny spots of invasive cells were found. An MRI showed up additional areas which have been biopsied and I'm getting the results of a sentinel lymph node biopsy on Wednesday. At which point does this all become 'proper'? I'm keeping everything in perspective, I think. I'm lucky that this was caught early (thanks to an invitation to take part in the mammogram screening trial for the 46-49 age group). And I'm generally a positive person, but waiting for Wednesday's appointment is testing me, and I'm glad that no-one else at work knows so I can concentrate on the day-to-day stuff at work.

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Yes,I hated the idea of being gossiped about.I told very few people, including work colleagues but my husband told his workmates as he had to take time off ,was upset etc.Recently met someone in supermarket who said hello to OH,then spent the whole time in queue staring at me,said to OH "would that person know Ive had cancer by any chance","oh yes she's a manager so would know".Hate that people I don't want to share my private business with know my private business!!!
Jomo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Getting back to who we have told, I have had a college message me with thinly veiled attempt at being nosey? You know is everything ok? Heard you were off, I will let my boss break it soon, can't hide it, I have told family and friends. But when it breaks at work, I want to control it, and not be the subject of whispering in the corridor.
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Two we all were blooming eck what a difference a month makes... But u know I've chatted to a friend who's hubby went thru it all and she was amazing to chat to. She told me off for holding in tears and tonight I've howled and my goodness I feel better already... I want my chemo now and fast!! I want this knight are gone. We must keep dreaming tho!! We can get through this xxxx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Seems bizzare but when my op got brought forward 5 days I was really happy.just wanted to get on with it and get the "thing " gone.
Bottyboo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Jomo I feel the same. I think back to things I did a month ago and realise how innocent I was then of the crap to come. It is like a living nightmare, my op is Monday and people are asking me if I'm nervous. However I want to get started on this journey so I'm a bizarre way I'm looking forward to it x
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Jomo tonite I feel the same... Keep crying!! It will be the bruising my boob is black!! I've had a few days showing ppl how positive I am and tbh I'm exhausted with it! Xxxx
Jomo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

My boob has started throbbing, don't know if it is bruised inside,? I am like you Emma desperate to start treatment, and thinking its everywhere, I am sing onvolgist Monday, I have not had scan yet, I can't believe that this time few weeks sgk, I was normal, I am very tiers st min, think its all the stress, I honestly am still hoping to wake from a nightmare, 

Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Deffo!!!!! Xxxxx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

You will feel better once you have a plan of action,waiting is torture .Cheers!!!Now that's better than stay positive!!!!
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Who's drinking wine...?? Let's all toast each other xxx
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Thanks tes my boob suddenly started aching post diagnosis!!!!! 🙈It's just the shock of it being at least grade 2 and in nodes... I feel helpless waiting for more results I just want to start treating it!!!!!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Everyone I have spoken when first diagnosed was convinced it had spread ,you can't help but attribute every ache and pain to cancer.Anxiety makes you hyper aware of your body.Anyway Emma "keep positive" .....
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I think ppl genuinely think they r bring motivational... But yes that's been my worst one 😂🙊I hope so too in my head the cancer us everywhere but I have to stop thinking that... It was such a shock to find the lump and then it be that. We r all here for each other and I think that's the best medicine there is!!!!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Yes it's like a different language isn't it.Hope you get some news to reassure you ,"stay strong babe"....oops nearly threw up...
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Had the second biopsy it doesn't hurt as much but my boob is so bruised... Black in places! It also bled a lot and then restarted when I got home a sign to slow down I think, I found the CT scan weird that feeling that ur gonna wee...?! Got oncologist Tuesday n consultant Thursday... So moving forward finally. Got a scary letter with stuff I didn't understand that set me back a bit.
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I had another... Stay strong babe... earlier via whatsapp 😡👊🏽
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

We have talked about writing a book of "what not to say" in the past,some good material here !!!
Anita
Member

Re: Who have you told?

That's funny Eileen my sister in law complained about a paper cut & steroid injection. I really had to bite my tongue & not say ' have you ever had a breast biopsy or breast cancer' but I thought my sarcasm might be lost on her. I've only told close family & a few friends at the moment but have only known a few weeks & haven't started treatment yet so might have to tell more people then.

CathyAJ
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Sorry, she was referring specifically to impact of mastectomy. Cathy x
CathyAJ
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Hello all. Not very many people because there were some real corkers and I quickly learned it's much better for your sanity to keep quiet. Prize winner so far (context, I'm much slimmer now than I've been in the past) "well you've lost so much weight that it won't really make much difference now, will it". I guess she (yes, she!) was trying to be positive .........
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Couldnt make it up could you!!!!

 

eileen728
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I came back to work on the day of diagnosis , told my team and about 5 minutes later one of them started whinging about a paper cut which was reaaaaaaalllllllly sore! xxx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

I have had a few friends ringing /texting to tell me their mamogram was clear(phew) ,well not sure how that helps me, mine wasnt ...

feistyflora
Member

Re: Who have you told?

My cancer treatment finished in March 2015 and I am doing okay but this is what happened when I 'broke the news' to someone immediately after diagnosis.  

 

I said "today I had some really bad news

I have cancer I've got the dreaded big C

They've found a huge lump in my breast

I'll need an op, chemo then radiotherapy"

 

She said "well fancy that, I'm suffering too

I bruised my boob today, oh poor little me

Can I come to see you, I'm black and blue

Be a dear and make me a nice cup of tea!"

 

No I didn't give her a black eye to match, but believe me I was sorely tempted!

 

 

 

Kmk66
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I told everyone, family, friends, colleagues, even Facebook acquaintances! Reason being I knew my routines and life would change during this as I'm a bit of a joker and party animal (kids just grown up and I'm at the parents behaving badly stage haha). I didn't want people coming to their own conclusions of why I wasn't doing fun things, why I wasn't at work and why I may be quieter than normal on social media platforms, which I'm a big user of. BUT everyone is different and everyone's life was at different stages in life before BC so it is a very individual choice of who and when to tell anyone. Kerry x x

Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I know heard that a few times... 😡
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Oh really???? It's so sore n tender but I guess they have grabbed flesh. Xxx thanks once again u have helped!!!!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

My biopsy site hurt for weeks after .
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Yeah ,"stay positive " used to make me want to throw up !!!!
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I want to slap that head teacher 👊🏽
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I had the biopsy not Monday but Monday before and it still hurts... Is it the biopsy or the cancer???? I read that wouldn't hurt... I have yellow bruising. I have another biopsy tomo 😩
Bottyboo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

My boob was OK after the biopsy, however since my appointment yesterday when the surgeon did all the measuring etc he checked the lump and it was agony and still hurts today. It hasn't really hurt before.
Good luck with the next two days, we're all with you in spirit. And as my beloved headteacher would say CHIN UP!! 😠
Bottyboo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Oh Jill I know that one so well. It's hard to grit your teeth and not say the words out loud especially when they're going on about something really trivial. I know all problems are relative but this does make you realise just how trivial some gripes are. X
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

My biopsy was much more painful than my op!!
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Boss
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Oh that's great news and good for u in taking today off!! I worked today that was my first day after my diagnosis and I did well only got upset in front of bids and other deputy who both know. My breast hurts today not sure if it's stress, psychological or still sore from the biopsy. Got a further biopsy tomo so not looking forward to that 😆
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I felt the same today... Today was my first day in work after the diagnosis. I'm off now for next 2 days with biopsies and scans. My breast still hurts from last weeks biopsy so not looking forward to tomo xxx
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Who have you told?

Surprised me just how much hard work it was telling people and dealing with other people's reactions was.I didn't really have the energy for it.I was relieved when I finished work to have my op and I could just concentrate on dealing with the cancer .I do a very stressful job dealing with people and I really struggled to concentrate for the weeks after diagnosis ,I was no use nor ornament , wasn't very tolerant of others ,kept thinking "you think you've got problems I've got cancer",
Bottyboo
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Hi everyone. Thank you for your good advice yesterday. Just could not go to work today. The thought of having to visit head and tell her of my decision and then be told to keep my chin up filled me with dread. I'm only a week post diagnosis and looking back this is the first wobble I have had that people who aren't immediate family or members on here have heard about. I do feel better for some me time and have asked my key stage leader to ask the head to drip feed it through as I have to keep making excuses as to why I won't be doing something next week etc. Xx
Pumpkin
Member

Re: Who have you told?

I agree. I'd also add that our bummer of a diagnosis does require our employers to make reasonable adjustments so don't feel guilty about not being able to go into work. I work for the government and throughout my chemo since late October I have worked at home (my choice) with laptop and BB even though my GP signed me off for 5 months. There were days when I couldn't really concentrate with calls mentally and other days when I couldn't concentrate to read more than a page. My recall memory had also gone a bit bizarre. I think it's called chemo brain! When I've seen my NHS oncologist in Central London every three weeks my manager has even met me to have a catch up. She's been brilliant. 

 

When I have my op in a few weeks I'll definitely sign off for a couple of weeks at least. No guilt whatsoever. We all have enough to deal with on this rollercoaster.

Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Chin up 😡Some ppl have such a way with words... Don't ever feel guilty about staying off. As a teacher u need to be emotionally as well as physically fit as it's such a draining job!! I ajwaysvin the last have struggled in but I've made a pact to myself to put me first for once. Put ur energy into beating this battle not stressing about upsetting ppl!!!!! YOU come first. Stay strong and kick this in the butt! Xxxxxxx👏👊🏽
Emmajane
Member

Re: Who have you told?

Brave lady u tell who u need to xxxxxx