Why a year on and well am I SO low?

[WendB]

Thankyou..from Mrs Angry! Thankyou for your kindness and advice girls.
I have just finished a whole run of work and should be able to take things a bit slower-give myself time to think. Am seriously considering counselling, but don\'t want to get \'me\' obsessed.
Think it\'s the anger that\'s worse. I am angry at everything!!
My husband lightheartedly calls me Mrs Angry, but it\'s so uncharacteristic that it obviously bothers him...I say maybe it\'s best to get the anger out than keep it in?
Feel so guilty that I have friends who are still in the thick of it and here I am moaning.Yet there are still issues....I don\'t know. Even writing this makes me feel as if I am self pitying and pathetic. What\'s to do eh? Holiday in Barbados maybe ( I wish!)

[Guest user]

Hi I felt exactly the same around the first anniversary of my diagnosis. I had had the full range of treatment (chemo, surgery, radio, Tamoxifen) and family and friends were behaving as though I had recovered from a bad cold.

I meanwhile was in a state of total panic, knowing that I was not \'cured\' and becoming obsessed with thoughts of recurrence. I contacted my breast care nurse and she thought I sounded so bad that she arranged counselling which was very helpful. The fear hasn\'t gone, but I can manage it now.

When I thought about why the first anniversary gets to people in this way, I realised that I felt abandoned. After 8 months of regular appointments and support from the hospital, it was as if they had said, \'OK, we\'ve done what we can. You\'re on your own now, so go out there and get back to normal.\'

But you can\'t do that, because the diagnosis and treatment change your life forever, though over time you can come to terms with what has happened and achieve a kind of new \'normal\'.

[MummyBear]

Why am I feeling so low? Read your post and it struck a chord.

I was dx just over a year ago - I\'ve just had my first mammo too!

The best analogy I can think of is that of the broken leg. People seem to think that once the plaster has been taken off the leg is cured - but you\'re only a part of the way through the treatment.

Just because you\'ve had your mast/recon/lump/rads/chemo - whatever, doesn\'t mean that you\'re out the other side and finished. You\'ve only finished the first stage - now you\'ve got to deal with living, post dx. And sometimes, this can seem harder than the treatment.

First of all, most of us go through this fear, depression and feelings of inadequacy. So please don\'t think you\'re unusual or pathetic - because you\'re not. Take some time for yourself, try and come to terms with what has happened and, maybe, go and have a chat to someone who understands. Many Breast Units/Hospitals have counsellors who might be able to help you. Go and chat to your GP if he/she is understanding. Get in touch with BCC - I\'ve spoken to their nurses before and they are incredibly helpful and supportive.

And use these forums. I promise you that you will be overwhelmed with love and support. You have mine.

I do hope that you feel better.

Love
Anne
xx

[WendB]

Why a year on and well am I SO low? Diagnosed with BC April 05 , had treatment and am well with good prognosis.Last Mammogram few weeks ago clear.
But I am on an emotional roller coaster. Swing from fine to angry to very low.
Had lymphoma five years ago and long period of treatment-unconnected to the BC-so I should be used to all this.
Have dreadful survivors guilt having lost friends to BC-yet that should make me want to live life to the full.I do-but I get so frustrated when I can\'t get on with it.I feel as if I must be here for a purpose and work my socks off but feel as if I am hitting a brick wall.
I feel a fraud writing this because being alive should hardly be a problem!

Always seem to be in tears and wondering what it\'s all about. I hate self pity so it\'s all beginning to get to me and I am angry with myself.

Is there anybody else out there feeling like this?

[WendB]

Why a year on and well am I SO low?