Why am I on here?

[Carolyn52]

Sorry it was meant to be lad ..not lady ..stupid predictive text.

[Carolyn52]

Hello craigy
Wow its been a while since you checked in but nice to hear from you and all the fundraising you have done too.
House moving is so stressful but hopefully you have found everything again now ..always seem to mislay things in transit !!
Hope the little lady is doing OK too ..enjoy the time with him.
Your mum is looking down on you with a big smile on her face as she's so proud.

[Craigy]

Well hello there it's been a while since my last post,things have been busy i've moved house and life is good.Even though it was a long boring night i loved volunteering at the pink ribbon walk so much so that i did a bucket collection at the glasgow fort on saturday there and i loved it! My sister says i was born to talk rubbish to the public (i think there was a compliment in there somewhere) and also that my mum would be proud.Although i came on here thinking about my mum and her loss and to volunteer in her memory i am now struck by the amount of people afected by this disease and the wider impact of it all.The people i have met have been awesome whether there volunteers,family or battling this disease.There are sadly people lost everyday to this disease but the wider family is so much bigger! To everyone out there stay strong you are not alone 🙂 until next time x

[Craigy]

So I went to the filming of Mrs browns boys last night with Jacqui (the missus) lol and got talking to a lovely couple from Troon. Just general chat but somehow drifted into cancer and in particular Breast cancer (cheery eh ha ha) turns out there passionate volunteers and fund raisers! The guy is doing the zip slide over the river Clyde this month and has modelled at the annual fashion show. Was nice to talk about this horrible disease but almost in a positive way and share our stories for an all but to brief encounter. Just goes to show there's strength in numbers. Gave me a wee lift and I now can't wait until June to volunteer at the ribbon walk 🙂

[Carolyn52]

Hello craigy
Well we are very much into 2017 now and sorry to hear about your partners grandad ..not many families are cancer free these days and it will bring back a lot of painful memories but life has to go on .
A few days ago it was 42 years since I lost my mum and its still painful ..especially as we cremated her on Valentine's day ( bad date ) and for many years I wouldn't celebrate Valentine day but now I look on it as a special day and usually get spoilt by hubby !!
I hope that you spoil your partner too and maybe buy an extra red rose in memory of your mum ...all these things help .
Anyway enjoy that little boy and treasure every milestone you share with him.
Carolyn

[Craigy]

Hi Mary grace thanks for your comment I hope your in good health,not sure what stage your at. The thing about grief and coping with loss is there's no handbook and no right or wrong as I guess we all deal with it differently although having bottled it all up for years I now advise anyone in difficult situations to talk it over. For years I couldn't face it and didn't want to even visit the garden of rememberance as it was to hard but without realising it at the time it had a big effect on me with regards forming relationships etc on the surface I am a bit of a hoot,always the joker and the centre of attention and have a positive attitude but under the surface I was a complete mess and being a man it was taboo to show this side. I'm now in a good place but find the old waterworks don't take long to kick in at the mention of my mum lol big softy! Even reading your lovely message Carolyn about the star on the Christmas tree has me pretending I had something in my eye lol my partners grandad was diagnosed with cancer yesterday and things ain't ideal about that but that's life and time waits for no man! The messages left on here give me a boost and make me smile. It's a pleasure to speak to strong inspirational people such as yourselves. Never stop fighting,one day at a time x

[Carolyn52]

Hello craigy
Well I hope u enjoyed xmas and new year with your family and that special little son. For many years I put a special star on Xmas tree in memory of my mum ( and dad) and maybe that would be nice for your little boy to do next year ..in remembrance of a gran he never met .
Sorry about all the extra expense before xmas ..always the way it happens.
Anyway a new year now and hopefully 2017 will bring good health and wealth to everyone.

[MG]

Happy New Year Craig, and welcome. 

I lost my mother to this horrible disease when I was in my early 20s but she had been ill since my teens. A cruel and indiscriminate disease and I still feel angry at mum being taken so early, for what she lost as well as the life we would have gone on to have together. Definitely worth talking about. I didn't realise until I was diagnosed myself, how much of that hurt and anger was still bottled up inside of me and have - in great part thanks to the wonderful friends on here - been able to talk it through. I never think it is good to keep these things bottled up. How lovely that you now have your own son. Your mum would be so proud of you and her grandchild. Hope 2017 is an excellent year for you. Mary Grace

[Craigy]

Haggis is lovely! Lol inevitably at this time of year our thoughts turn to those no longer with us or people worse off than us however as I'm reasonably new to the site I'm impressed by the positivity of people. This time of year is filled with joy and loads of gifts etc but after having expensive car repair bills (yes both cars 😩) washing machine breaking etc etc it makes me realise that really the best gift you can give someone is time. This forum can have you laughing and crying in minutes but it hammers home to me the importance of family and friends. I've got to do some last minute shopping tomorrow I think I'll pop to the crematorium and say hi to my mum it's been a while. The last time I seen her was Mother's Day I was eleven and I had made a home made card for her. I was so scared seeing her in that room god I miss her what I wouldn't give to hold her hand one more time. Thanks to everyone who has welcomed me on here with open arms you lot are a special bunch,may I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year,cheers! 🍷🍻

[Carolyn52]

Hello craigy
We are very happy to welcome you to our family of support and kindness ..sometimes it helps to let out the anger and sadness of being deprived of loved ones especially when so young like you were .
You are lucky to be able to focus on your little son ..enjoy him and never be afraid to love and spoil him too much. Enjoy every milestone with him too.
So you are Scottish ..lovely place to live at Xmas and new year time but must confess to not liking haggis !!
Anyway ..don't be sad ..post here any time and there is always someone to support you with kind words .
Carolyn x

[Craigy]

Thanks for the comments. It's amazing what a few texts can do to your spirit! 😊 Carolyn I kinda get the sense you'll be around for a good few years to come your positivity shines through and not only are you having your own battles you have the time to offer encouraging words to others! I recently tried to volunteer for a breast cancer charity bucket collection but it was over subscribed but I'm definitely keen to pursue this next year. I work full time and have a beautiful one year old boy so don't have much spare time but I'm going to look into it or maybe organise a wee fundraiser 😊 P.s. I'm Scottish so "wee" means small and not pee 😂lol I'm glad I stumbled onto this website last month it feels cathartic writing on here and may provide me with opportunities to help others in the future. Thanks x

[Carolyn52]

Hiya Craig
Glad u posted here and hope u had a good 40th birthday.
Breast cancer is a very cruel disease and I was robbed of my mum by it age 21 but its made me stronger and here I am now 41 years later with secondary bc too but with better treatments now I'm hoping to be around a bit longer for my kids age 48,41 and 36 and the grankids.
We are here for support if you need us.

[Jill1998]

Hi C,I think what you are reflecting in your post is what I have noticed over the past 18 months on this forum that the vast majority of people in this world are kind and caring and want to help and support others in times of crisis .All the best .Jill.

[Craigy]

Hey pat (snow leopard) thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. It's kind of nice in a tragic sort of way that people are brought together by this disease but we can all embrace and support each other in times of need or even just on a down day. Tonight I sat and watched the news and read some papers for a change,over the past few months my lust for current affairs has dwindled to the max. I used to buy two papers a day watch countless news progs etc but with all the tragedy etc I've kind of tuned out. That's what makes pages like this all the more heartwarming. Yeah there filled with tragic tales and ongoing struggles but at the end of the day there are no different races we are all simply human beings and as human beings we do what we do best in times of tragedy. We offer comfort,a friendly word,a hug,a cup of tea,it doesn't matter.What matters is at that very moment when our world comes crashing in there is always hope. Sure the story might not have a happy ending but people are inherently good and if you let them in and give them a chance then they can help. Apologies for rambling on I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say,maybe I'm getting a bit more philosophical in my old age or maybe I'm just wittering on who knows lol it's just nice to know people care. Goodnight x

[Snow Leopard]

Hi Craigy, I'm so sorry you lost your mum at such a young age. It's so good you are now able to talk about it and come on here and write about it. You sound like such a lovely guy I'm sure your mum would be so proud of you. I have a 44 year old son so I know what I'm talking about!

Happy Birthday 

All the best for the future, 

Pat xx 

[Craigy]

Bottyboo thank for your kind words and taking the time out of your schedule to comment it is greatly appreciated. Not sure what I want from this forum whether I'll continue to post or if it was a one time thing but for now to receive kind words from a complete stranger that'll do me 🙂 we all deal with things differently and with grief there is no handbook. It took me a very long time to speak about my mum and many years before I could visit the garden of rememberance,even now it's still hard. That feeling of why me,the anger at having her taken etc but I also try and draw any positives from the horrible situation. It's taught me to embrace life,to laugh to love and to make the most of each day and that's what I do! So I say a big up yours to cancer and let's enjoy it while we're here cos this ain't a rehearsal x

[Bottyboo]

Craigy I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It just shows how this indiscriminate lodger doesn't give a monkeys who it invades and also the complete devastation it has on the whole family circle. A girl I went to school with lost her mum at age 12 to this disease and I can remember clearly her struggle to cope although at the time I didn't realise much, it is only as I've got older the things she used to go through made sense. Very best wishes.
Oh and HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY x

[Craigy]

Erm from the title I guess I'm not sure why I'm here really. I lost my mum on 24th march 1988,I was 11. I still think of her everyday. Even as I type this the tears roll down my face. I guess I'm just feeling a little reflective tonight as I turn 40 tomorrow. I guess inside I still feel like that little boy who went to the hospital on Mother's Day with a little home made card not really knowing what was going on. It was 28 years ago and it still hurts. It's a poxy indescriminate disease. Don't really know what else to say. Just I wish other families and people affected by this disease the strength and positivity to cope,fight and get through there's struggles. P.s. That's me 40 now, bugger lol