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Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

12 REPLIES 12
LizzyM
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Thanks, Sue, sent you a PM
Lizzy XX

sueinspain
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Lizzy ...... good luck with everything on Thursday - will be thinking of you.

Love and stuff
Sue xxxxxx

sueinspain
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi Lizzie .... I was tempted to call the hospital yesterday but then thought I wuold give it another day - you are right about it being a "woman" thing though .... why are we so rubbish at taking - but pretty good at giving eh!!!!??!

You are correct I dont even have an appointment ofr the results, they said they will just call me - so mobile is permamently in front of me so I dont miss the call. I think Im going to call them at lunchtime today - despite me feeling reasonably confident that if they are leaving me this long it must be good news - it makes me angry that waiting all this time is seen as ok .. like you said its happening to me and my body and its scarey.

I appreciate your support as always....(Bella - there´s always someone around to help you along as you can see from my rantings and the absolutely brilliant effort that Lizzy, Freddie, Jane and others all put into making us feel better, and not facing this alone)

Sue xx

LizzyM
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Welcome Bella, this is a great site, loads of support and information, I have found it very helpful. No way are you a fraud, take each day at a time, when is your clinic appt? You will probably have mammogram, ultrasound, possibly biopsy, ask as many questions as you need, someone here will have an answer.

I'm sure it is a built in female trait - feeling guilty / fraud / don't want to waste peoples time......What are we like?! If it were men - just think how often we get a cold - they have man flu....

Sue, you are justified in every way, never feel that you have wasted anyone's time. The waiting is horrid, and whatever your results are - this has been a trauma. As Jane says, would it be an idea to give them a ring? Am I right in thinking that they haven't given you an appt for your results, that they will ring you "at any time"? Have to say, I think that must be FAR worse than having a set appt to work towards. Still have to wait, but at least know WHEN you will know! OUR results are, understandably THE most important thing right now, however someone in a busy hospital.......might need a bit of a nudge to get them to us? I know in some ways - you feel "No news = Good news", but if it was me, I think I might be chasing them up now, whatever they turn out to be - hopefully what you want; if not then you can start the journeyu to put this behind you.

Freddie, my op Thurs this week, will try and catch up with you again before yours, everyone seems to say the op isn't as bad as we think it is going to be - that old imagination running away with us again!

Keep posting, rant when required,

(((Hugs))) to all
Lizzy XX

sueinspain
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi Bella .... I think the reason I feel a bit of a fraud is because so many women on here are going through so much with treatments etc - and because I dont actually know if there is even anything wrong with me it sort of feels like Im taking peoples time and going on and on about something that may not even exist ... having said that without the ladies on here I would have gone MAD these past few weeks - because the not knowing for sure is the hardest thing (and like you I have more moments when I think its all going to be ok).

I live in Spain, so my experience may be different from a lot of ladies in the UK ... apart from the last 12 days of waiting for biopsy results! my experience of the Clinic / Hospital here, and the nursing staff has been excellent - I hope you experience the same.

I think the forum here allows us all the opportunity to just talk and be ourselves (ourselves as we feel that particular day!!!) ... and its such a relief and a support to be talking to people that know how we are feeling - and be able to share experiences and concerns .... Best of luck with your appointment at the clinic - and dont hesitate to "talk" on here if you need to.

Sue xxxx

bella_1
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi everyone
i was on the internet looking for some info on breast cancer as i went to the docs today as my left boob is quite swollen, sore and burning. I thoght it was possibly mastitas but im a bit old for that as im 48. Anyway im being sent to breast clinic for tests. Found your forum and you all seem pretty down to earth. Dont know what im trying to do looking on the internet just pretty scared. I know what the women means because i feel the same a bit of a fraud as im sure it will all be fine. What has been your experience at the clinic.

Cheers Bella

freddiecider
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi

Thanks Sue

Sorry if I went on about 'me' in my earlier post.

What I meant to add on was that I think every situation and every diagnosis is different. Sometimes they seem to know instantly and get people in straight away. Other times it seems to be a long and agonising wait. I think this is for a combination of reasons too- sometimes the diagnosis or sometimes the system. In short there seems to be no rules.Like you say, it makes me angry at times too.

Hopefully as each day passes you are closer to getting your results,

Best of luck,

Love freddie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sueinspain
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi Freddie - thanks for sharing your own experience with me. I know its not done on purpose, but I sometimes feel so angry that we have to go through all this waiting. I think when there are so many experiences on here about how and when women finally got a diagnosis, it makes it even harder to wait it out - because there is no set pattern to the time for tests, results, follw ups etc.

Im sorry that you are going through all this and I truly hope you get a defintive answer soon. Im working on the no news is good news theory today - who knows what I´ll feel like tomorrow or the next day!!! onwards and upwards eh!

Take care Freddie - best of luck with everything.
Sue xxxxxx

freddiecider
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi

I know what you mean. My diagnosis isn't completely certain and I don't know what bracket I fall in completely

Week 1- found lump
Week 2- Ultrasound and FNA results- all fine -given all clear
Week 4- unexpectedly recalled, had mammo, ultrasound,both unclear.
so had punch biopsy-had to wait for these results for 2 wks
but told it was BC and probably lobular

Week 6- punch biopsy results still 'suspicious' but not conclusive
However now definitely not lobular-probaby DCIS possibly
with some invasive.

Week 8- Lumpectomy planned for.

So , all in all, I'm in for a lumpectomy next week and still won't know full results for another three weeks!

I really don't know what to think!

It all really does play mind games with us. For me, I kind of think, if it was that bad they would have whipped me in eralier, but who knows!!

Good luck and thinking of you,

Love Freddie xxxxxxxxxx

sueinspain
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Thanks Sandra, and you too Jane - I feel like I have moments where Ive had a personality change! The usual "Sue" most of the time then a raving lunatic the next ... and the hubby is the one feeling the brunt of the lunatic side ! He´s been great - but he falls into the "dont know why you are worrying" ... "its time to worry if you get bad news" ... I know he means well, as do a few close friends who know Im waiting .... but I agree with you Sandra its blo**y well pees me off when people say that - this experience has taught me so much about how this disease can affects people in so many many ways - I look forward to the day when they can do all the test and results in one go ! ... thanks for listening, and for being so patient.

I can still very much feel the lump, its still there, and a constant reminder of what started all this - so given I feel it every day I need those results just to stop me from going mad.

Sue x

sandra44
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Whoa ! Don't be daft, you aren't a fraud in any way shape or form.

This is a huge thing that you are going through,you can't help the way your mind is thinking, I was the same,did try and think the best but always had the niggle of "what if....."
What really did pee me off was the amount of people who said "don't worry ,you will be all right " They didn't know that any more than I did,and the only time you will know will be when you get your results.
I was fortunately prepared for bad news as when my mammogram and ultrasound were viewd I was told it didnt look good and was very suspicious,needle biopsies taken that day inconclusive but got the core biopsy result only 48 hours later and that confirmed that it wasn't good news.
Don't know if the length of time you wait for results is an indication of how they will turn out,I do know it varies greatly from place to place.

Whatever happens,you come on here and let off as much steam as you want,it helps to let it all out,we have all been in your position,am keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope you get to hear what your results are soon. Keep chatting though ! Big hugs.

Sandra x

Jane
Member

Re: Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Sue - I think it makes more sense (even if you feel silly to be troubling people) if you phone and at least get a progress report. Two weks is quite long to wait when you are worried and good communication is essential in allaying your fears. Even if you are only told there is no news till whatever day it may reassure you.

Best of Luck

Jane x

sueinspain
Member

Why do I feel a "FRAUD" !!

Hi all,

Well its will be two weeks this Wednesday since I had my biopsy at the Hospital which was scheduled within days of me having a mammogram and then ultrasound on a lump I had found myself a few weeks before.....the mammogram and ultrasound were "suspicious" ... but the Doctor who did the biopsy said it looked "fine" .... I was told the longer I had to wait for results the better my results would be! so here I am almost two weeks later ..... part of me wanting the phone to desperately ring just so I can put this behind me, and part of me feeling a FRAUD for having gone through what feels like weeks of hell, with the high probability of there being nothing wrong with me (and of course thats what I am hoping for)... plus of course I have posted on here many times in the past weeks and am starting to feel guilty again for taking up peoples time ... its not as if there is anything wrong with me .......... OTHER THAN THE STRESS OF ALL THIS WAITING!!!

Sorry - rant over - do you think "no news is good news" applies in situations like this ????

Thank you ladies for your time as always
From Normally Very Happy and Cheerful Sue xxxxxxx (Spain)