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Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

66 REPLIES 66
familytree
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

It's never easy Barry...sorry to read it's in lymph nodes but it's still treatable. It's all a Damn nightmare..no one wants chemo but if you are told you dont need it you still worry it may be lurking somewhere undetected. You have a journey ahead of you all but it's doable and there is life after this vile disease...hold that thought because it will get you through. Lorna x
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I thought the day after being officially diagnosed was meant to be easier to deal with.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I hope my wife is similar to you June. Fingers crossed, everything will move quickly now which can only be a good thing I suppose x
catchpole
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Hi Barry,

 

Can i just say my first node was suspicious so they took them all, same time as lumpdectomy and i thought yes take them,nowhere for the cancer to lurk. The surgeon mentioned chemo to me   But thankfully my others were all clear but didnt bother me they had gone, i just wanted any possibility of it lurking anywhere away. .  I was then borderline chemo, but as my margains were clear also, the oncologist said no chemo necessary, just rads and Tamoxifen, Finished the rads in June and been on tamoxifen for over 5 months, and feel fine.  Hope your wife is same.  June

Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

She will be fine, get the buggers out if its on the move then it can't do any more damage! I would have had everything chopped off if it meant being free of it, after the initial shock wore off I got angry and wanted to take it head on, nothing was going to stop me enjoying a long and happy life! 

bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

The scariest part is them taking all of the nodes out.
Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

That's a positive Barry, I'm on Tamoxifen and it's good to know I can take something long term to help prevent reacurrance, Your wife's remaining nodes may be clear then Chemo might be questionable, I know plenty of women on here who have declined it as it would only add a few % extra protection and they felt it wasn't worth it , but if she needs it then it will do its job, it's no walk in the park but doable, I've not had it but have friends who have and they got through it, things get less scary the more knowledge you gain and you will find a way to come to terms with it, 6 months ago I was convinced I Was going to die and now I feel like I will live for ever!! 😊

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Yes ,Tamoxifen is very helpful to women with certain types of cancer .I think that's how a lot of people feel about chemo,pretty much guaranteed to get rid of anything that had been missed
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

That's what I thought about tamoxifen and I've told her chemotherapy is good as it will kill anything in it's path!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

If you are considering children make sure you discuss with oncologist before chemo cos there are things they can do to give you options once chemo is over and she is well again.Good that she can have Tamoxifen ,additional help to stop cancer coming back once you have got rid.Things will get calmer and you will feel less anxious and more in control.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

She'll need tamoxifen but not herceptin.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

No Children, we had hoped for some but I'll take her getting through this over any kids!
Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I had two weeks off after my surgery which included just 2 sentinel nodes being removed so a month sounds about right with a full removal but just play it by ear as everyone recovers at a different rate, did they give you any other results like ER status or HER2 ? 

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

May well be able to remove all cancer cells in breast and any cells in lymph nodes during op.The lymph node clearance can be quite painful afterwards and may need drains to get rid of fluid build.Best get organised this week with anything that needs doing in house, get meals in etc then you can just concentrate on giving your wife some TLC,do you have children Barry?
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

She's having lymphs out so has been told she might need a month off work!
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

They said they won't know for sure until the examine the rest of the lymph nodes, with the size as it stands it's stage 2 about 2cm
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

It's a horrible time Barry but you have a very quick date for surgery and you have a good idea about what happens next.The op may well remove all the cancer and then chemo would be a preventative measure to help reduce chances of a reoccurrence .
Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Barry I'm so sorry your wife has been officially diagnosed but now you know what you are dealing with, everything now is a step closer to this being over with, invasive ductal is the general name for cancer that has escaped from the duct and is what I had, did they tell you any more about grade or stage? Lumpectomy surgery is fine honestly, it's a day case and I walked out 2 hours after coming round, please try and dry your tears and reassure your wife that she will get through this and life will be good again because it will 😊

bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

We're in tears she has ductal invasive cancer and the lymph node they tested was positive so they're doing a lumpectomy on Tuesday and will have chemotherapy
tiffany montmoulineix
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

i saw one girl wearing bodysuit she was loooking so femini
Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Barry in all honesty nothing is worse than the waiting for news, we all pray your wife gets the all clear of course but if not as Jill says she will need you more than ever to help her take it all in, my husband asked all the questions and wouldn't let me panic , although he was devastated that this was happening his attitude was right what happens now? Let's just get this thing dealt with, It really helped me no end as he was strong and positive and said whatever it takes we will do this,he was on such a high the day of my op as he knew it would be gone from my body and It rubbed off on me as I was on cloud 9 afterwards, I'm telling you this because in my experience I needed him to be strong and positive,if I saw him panicking it would have made me worse, I trust him with my life and when he said we will sort this I believed him, it's what I needed to hear! 😊

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Fingers crossed.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

That sounds promising for you. Fingers crossed her diagnosis is similar.
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I have surgery in June and I am due to have radiotherapy for 3 weeks from Friday,that is to help stop reoccurrence as all cancer was removed by the op (lumpectomy ).
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

How far down the line are you Jill. We're out with her friend and we've had tears 😞
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Thats good ,even with 2 of you it's hard to remember what they say.I asked them to write some things down,the size of the tumour and grade of the tumour are important as well as the ER status which affects the drug treatment that she can be given to help too.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Thanks Jill. Her mum and dad will be with us too. Mum has already written questions, while I've read so much I could be a doctor!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Barry make sure you write down what questions you want to ask before out go,when you are anxious it is difficult to remember what you wanted to say.If it is cancer try and hold onto the fact that most women diagnosed with breast cancer will still be around in 10 years time and advances being made all the time.Your wife needs you to stay calm and focused if you can because she will be feeling very scared too.Jill.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

We find out tomorrow, I'm hoping my panic attacks will stop.
catokitty
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I know it is a horrible shock because I too was told I had cancer on the day of my biopsy.  I felt dizzy and thought I was going to faint for a minute.  I was alone because my husband was in bed with flu.  Your wife is lucky to have you at her side.   Radiologist told me she could tell by the appearance on the scans that it was almost certainly cancer, and the biopsy would just be confirmation.   She asked me if I wanted to know rather than wait so I said yes because I couldn't stand the thought of waiting.     Please don't google because there is a lot of misinformation out there with so called experts. The waiting is awful but it is only a few days now.  Better to stick to looking at info on this site.  MacMillan is good too for information.   Good luck with results and treatment.  

Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

You will feel better once you know the facts and what happens next.They do often tell people it is highly likely cancer before biopsy results , that leaves you with many unanswered questions and in limbo but very anxious,not good.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Tuesday is taking forever to arrive and I must stop googling breast cancer! I will complain to the doctor about telling us my wife had breast cancer 2 weeks before the biopsy results. If I was older my heart wouldn't have taken it!
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

The waiting to know what happens next is really hard,but try to focus on the fact that the vast majority of women with breast cancer will still be here in 10 years time.
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

37 and self examination.
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Try and not research too much til you know exactly the nature of your wife's cancer, it is easy to get overwhelmed and freaked out by the amount of information that is out there .I didn't realise how complicated it was,but they take many factors into consideration when deciding how to treat each person.How old is your wife Barry, did she find lump herself or through mammogram ?
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Once she gets treatment I know I won't feel so helpless or google so much either!
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I don't think it's her thing. She might get involved when diagnosed but I think she doesn't want to worry herself.
familytree
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Yup...afraid so..a rollercoaster! Depends what side of the bed you get out of x
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Yes Barry it is, but the good/calm days get more frequent and the panic days less as time goes on and it gets better once you get treatment under way and you both feel you are doing something to get rid of the cancer.Has your wife been on the forum too or is it not her thing?
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

One moment I'm feeling positive and the next sick to my stomach. Is that normal?
Jill1998
Community Champion

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Yes ,and also a few nice treats food wise as well as the healthy stuff( for both of you ).You both need cheering up.Like you say spinach ain't gonna make a lot of difference right now .They have some pretty effective treatments coming her way to get rid of the bugger and to stop it coming back.
Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I hope your pouring her plenty of her fav tipple to wash down the spinach Barry!! 😜

bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

It might be too late this time but help reduce the chances of it coming back.I've even got her eating spinach!
familytree
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Lol we all become specialists on the subject...knowledge is power. Just be selective what you read..some utter rubbish out there X
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I had to take a long walk rather than go to the gym at lunch today. Plus at this rate I think I could be a breast cancer specialist with the amount of reading I've done!
missmore
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Hi Barry
probably best for your wife if you can hold off with your feelings and let her know that you are going to be strong and supporting. She's probably the most scared she's ever been in her life. Treatments are great and medical teams very supportive as are the helplines here
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Thank you hopefulholly, yours and everyone else's words really do and are helping me through this. The tears are difficult to control no matter how positive I'm feeling but I think that's natural now rather than holding it in.
hopefulholly
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Hi Barry, just noticed your posts and wanted to share how my husband dealt with my diagnosis. Of course we were both in shock as my breast cancer was found during a routine mammogram. I tried to stay strong and play it down for the sake of my family. It was frightening to see my family so (naturally) scared for me. It's a fine line between acknowledging my fear but remaining positive and hopeful.

 

My husband is diabetic and within days of my diagnosis his blood pressure shot up affecting the nerves around his eye resulting in a turn which prevented him from driving so I had to do all the running around preparing for hospital!  On the morning of my operation, he was being treated in the eye clinic in the same hospital -- honestly, you couldn't write it!  Thankfully, a prism sorted his sight so he could drive. My poor husband was and looked distraught, he couldn't think straight, I used to send him out to walk the dog to calm him down. I actually told him that I needed him to be strong for me and that seemed to pull him together. I hope I don't sound harsh but I was worried about his health and I couldn't have our 3 sons worried about us both, that wasn't fair on them.

 

As others have said, once you know what you are dealing with, you'll have a plan and get answers to all your questions (write them down so you don't forget). To be honest, I've lost loved ones to cancer (not breast) and think that if this is my turn, it's the most treatable one which has had so many advances in recent years and is constantly improving. It sounds as though your wife's cancer has been caught early so she is very likely to have a good recovery. I don't believe that being positive changes the outcome, that's the science / medical bit but I do believe that it's what gets us through this - and a sense of humour! You're both still in shock but that will change once you get results and treatment starts. 

 

Sending you both my best wishes and positive vibes. Take care x

 

Jobey68
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

Good plan Barry! We flew off to Menorca 3 weeks after radiotheraphy finished, just the tonic! Xx
bazza7676
Member

Re: Wife diagnosed with breast cancer, biopsy in 2 weeks

I know when we can do a plan of action I'll be more positive. I'll even tell my wife I'll book us a holiday as soon as she's given the all clear.