It's great to be normal isn't it !!!
I had to have a colonoscopy a few years ago and the hospital sent me a very strong laxative which I duly took at the appropriate time but it didn't work as soon as it should have. It got me up in the middle of the night and it continued......
My dad was taking me to the hospital and picked me up and half way there I said I need to go to the loo and it's pouring out of me. He had a newspaper in the back which he quickly shoved underneath me. We got to the hospital and he went in and got me a chair and so I walked alone the long corridor pulling this chair behind me and no doubt leaving a huge stink behind me. I got to the department and told them so had to go and wash myself and then had the procedure done. I was telling the people there and we had a good laugh about it and one bloke said my dad most probably gone home for a trailer to put me in on the way home !!
I hasten to add that my dad's car didn't get dirty !!!!
OK here goes, I have always avoided breaking wind in front of my partner, apart from what I said about under the duvet and obviously we all agree that whatever happens whilst alseep doesn't count...
Anyhoo, we were on holiday about 6 months into our relationship, and sitting outside a restaurant and I had had a fart brewing for a while and normally I'd have gone to the ladies' room and let it out BUT I didn't actually need to visit for any other reason and frankly I couldn't be bothered, also it was one of those sensations where you can tell that if you just DO the fart it will not be a noisy one, so as we were sat outside I went for it. What I had failed to register (after about 2 bottles of wine) was that although we were sitting outside they had erected a plastic awning because it was off season and got quite chilly at night... so there was nowhere for the fart to escape and it was possibly the WORST "silent but violent" one I had ever smelt (from myself or anybody else) since we'd been eating loads of fish and garlicky foods all week. Sorry if anyone's having their elevenses reading this. There was no way my boyfriend would NOT have noticed it, and I couldn't exactly blame it on a nearby table because with it being off season the place was more than half empty!
We settled the bill and walked outside and he said "that was a nice meal and a nice restaurant I really enjoyed it" and I just blurted "IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEE OK??!!" to which he went "hmmmmm I have no idea what you're talking about babe" and nothing has been said ever since, if he had taken the mickey out of me for 5 minutes I would not have felt so embarrassed.
Anyway, nothing to do with chemo but I've had friends in stitches with that confession.
For the record I have only noticed HIM fart about twice in 2 years.
having first FEC thursday, cant decide if i should warn my OH or just let him find out.. I havnt laughed so much for ages!! thank girls.Only been with OH for 4 years and always try not to fart in front of him.. he says i fart all night ( i say if im asleep it doesnt count) so he has a big shock coming to him.
umm, I did a bright green sh1t after my op and I racked my brains for ages wondering what could possibly have caused it, I hadn't eaten spinach for ages, LOL, and then at my first FEC the nurse warned me that with some of the chemo drugs being bright red my wee would probably be the same colour for a while... then I mentioned the green pooh and she explained it was cos of the dye! It simply didn't cross my mind, and nobody had thought to warn me!
I never thought a thread on embarrassing bodily functions would cause so much mirth, or end up so many posts!
I have a flatulence story unrelated to chemo if anyone wants a laugh
Oh girls you have brightened my day. Feeling the fall out from FEC5 last Thursday & pretty sorry for myself, you have cheered me no end (literally). I find that there are 2 main categories. The toot flute and the machine gun. The toot flute tends to play involuntarily when you bend down to pick something up or stroke the dog and of course always happens in front of a work colleague or the Tesco delivery man. The machine gun although can crop up anywhere, at any time, seems to occur more often in bed. My daughters boyfriend (just out the army) actully dived for cover when walking past my room shouting INCOMING!. If you are unlucky enough to have the machine gun, you really need to be on your own. I find it the more embarassing of the two and much harder to control.
Love you all xx
Best one was when I was in hospital and had the sentinel node biopsy done where they used the dye and when I eventually went to the toilet my poo was green/blue !! Bet that frightened them cos it wouldn't flush !!!! Aliens
Ladies, thank you so much for making me laugh. I'm sat here with tears rolling down my cheeks - you've cheered me up no end.
Better out than in . . . .
I will leave the room if I feel a parp coming on and I am in the company of other people, no matter who it is. But I will confess that if I feel like having a fart when I'm in bed with him, I will part my bum cheeks and that acts like a silencer! (that is a tip I got from a friend who drinks beer, LOL) But I still have to hope he will not move in the next couple of minutes in case a whiff escapes from under the duvet. I know he must have noticed one or two but he is too polite to say anything. I have now admitted to him that chemo makes me fart like a good un.
When I told my friend about the "wind" and it was the chemo - her reply was well you ain't been on chemo for the last 50 years !!!! The same friend who told me when I was in tears because I was going to shave my head that day - "get up, have a sh**, shower and shave" made me laugh.
I only found out it was sympton of the chemo because of this site otherwise I'd have been thinking it was me !!
a natural bodily function buts its so hillarious. i've been feeling really depressed over my cancer and needed a good laugh and now i got one. when i start my chemo maybe i'll get my own back on my hubby!
Rollicking thread, ladies. Made me very glad that my husband is decamping for a month the day after my first chemo, to be replaced by big old dad - now THERE'S a farter. Finally I may be able to offer him a real run for his money! Something to look forward to. I have this kind of embarrassed grin on my face as I realise that after 22 years of marriage, I still don't fart in front of husband (what goes on when I'm asleep is beyond my control) because he is a tight-a*** who confines his own 'bottom squeaks' to the bathroom where poss. I fart cheerfully - eloquently - in front of my natal family & son, however. Oh dear. I better not go down this road - divorce lies at the end.
I am so glad this topic has been aired, so to speak.
If the chemo hadn't made my hair fall out, the farts would've done it! (or made my hair go white, at least!). Who needs biological warfare with these little beauties? I mentioned it to my onc who said he'd never had that complaint (other people are probably too polite to mention it), but to warn him if one was imminent!
Firstly, why is it most women don't fart before marriage? I NEVER used to fart! With plenty farts under the marital duvet now, I must admit I hadn't noticed if my 1st FEC made any difference! I know I wasn't constipated and at one point I had to go to the loo to fart, just in case. But, I don't think I was actually farting more than usual! Oh well, at least I finally have an excuse for my disgraceful behaviour! How long can this excuse last? One year? Ten?
Sue (the smelly farter in the corner!) xx
I have always been a 'farter' but found what I called the chemo smell during mine, it was def different to normal.Colin tries to match me but says he fails miserably.
who said it had to be all doom and gloom on here? Glad if the can of worms I've opened has made people laugh.
My best ever was actually before I started chemo so I don't know if it counts, but I was in Tenerife and one day after a wonderful lunch we walked back from Los Cristianos to Puerto Colon (unfortunate name for a marina but quite apt in the circumstances) and something must have disagreed with me cos I started having stomach cramps, luckily I didn't disgrace myself, anyway when we got back to the marina I went to the bathroom in this nice bar while my boyfriend got the drinks in and everything was rushing out the bottom end, and then I did THE longest fart I have ever done in my life, I SWEAR I am NOT exaggerating when I said it lasted for 20 seconds! It could potentially have gone on for longer but I couldn't fart for longer (think about breathing out your mouth for as long as you can manage, eventually you have to stop for a breather)
I actually had to tell my boyfriend, but he didnt' believe me.
I am laughing with tears pouring down my face. I especially love: 'whoever is around should be grateful that I am alive enuff to fart' and Julie's 'bottom squeaks'!!
I used to get it terribly while stuck in the chair receiving the chemo for 6 hours!! There was no escape and I just had to let it go! Oh the ambarrassment....
Thanks for giving me the best laugh in weeks
Ha Ha Ha that's sooo funny! What is it about toilet humour that makes me laugh so much?
I thought I was the only one who had this embarrassing problem!
I normally try to keep them to myself but just have to share these! They last so long when they do come. My daughter can't believe me and my poor husband doesn't say a word.
I think we should have a competition to see who can make them last the longest. Bet I win.
Yes I know all about this one, so does other half, Im auditioning for a whole brass section of a very large orchestra most of the time, and its uncontrollable and often in public places. Im nearing 6th fec.
Im talking especially about bottom squeaks.
Try and say "archbishop of cantebury" all in one burp for the top prize.
I actually enjoy farting just not in front of other people especially my boyfriend I want him to think I'm a laydee!
Hi, I'm on my third FEC and terrible wind! Good job I am single, only my fourteen year old son here. I have always suffered too but it's really bad at the mo. Will rename the treatment "Schemo" !!
not had chemo but did find that post-surgery and whilst settling into medication I got a little extrea wind ... the way I look at it whoever is around should be grateful that I am alive enuff to fart.
Thanks! I think it's worse in bed because you're lying down and everything's straightened up as opposed to in the daytime when you're scrunched up at your desk or in the car. My best ones are in the morning, I am sure my upstairs neighbour can hear them but tough.
I did FEC & Tax last year, can't remember now which one gave me wind, but it was quite bad at times! Like you, it seemed to get worse at night when in bed. But it stopped after the chemo finished, if that's any comfort.
I'd have added a "blushing" emoticon if they were available ;o)
Anyone else on FEC experiencing really bad WIND?
I have always suffered with it to a certain extent and I put it down to the amount of fresh veg in my diet and especially things like Onions really set me off, however I am sure it is much worse since I started chemo.
I don't care when I'm on my own but I hate it when my boyfriend is staying over. The other night I could not be bothered to get up and leave the room cos I was so warm and comfy and the bathroom's freezing, so I just let rip but it was much louder and longer than I had expected and I KNOW he heard although he is far too polite to say anything. It was the sort of fart that I would have been proud of if I had been a bloke but me and him have always tried to maintain a certain amount of mystique 😞
Sorry if TMI