Hi All - had a real shock yesterday, went to the clinic to have a cyst aspirated, and an irregular lump showed up on the mammogram and the radiography. Had biopsies, need to wait until Tuesday for results. Its only a small lump, but the doctor is fairly certain its cancer. My hubby is away competing in a World Championship event, and I didn’t even tell him I was going to the clinic - I daren’t tell him about this at the moment, he’d freak out. I’m at home with my 13yr old son at the moment, going on hols to Spain with him the day after I get the results, and I certainly won’t be telling him about it! Won’t see hubby until I come back, and its my son’s birthday on Sunday. I feel like I’m in a sort of bubble, trying to make everything look normal on the outside, but I’m really struggling when no-one’s looking.
Hello Sue48
Welcome to the forums, this must be a very worrying time for you but you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi Sue
Just responded to your other question and didn’t realise your full situation. How dreadful for you to be coping with all this by yourself - the waiting and the unknown is the worst.
Can you confide in anyone else (friend/family member) who, ideally, can come with you for your results? There will be alot to take in and a second pair of ears is always helpful - not forgetting the moral support.
If the results are as you are expecting, you may find it difficult to hide from your son - especially at that age. Your call of course, but how would he feel knowing that you had kept something so important from him.
Sending hugs
Dx
Whatever the outcome you need lots of support right now. Now is the time to find a good friend or family member to hold your hand.
My children were older than yours but I had to tell them straight away as that was the best way for me to cope. This waiting period is the worst and if the lump is a “problem” it can be sorted. The best of luck to you. You are certainly not alone! Keep posting as we all know how it feels and it helped me get my head around things by using this forum x
hi, I found a lump which everyone said was a lump and turned out to be cancerous. My husband was just leaving to drive to denmark and i felt i could not tell him becuase he had to go and would have worried for the whole trip. On his return he said he was glad that I did not because he would have wanted to come home and would not have been able to.
My daughter was visiing me and i was not going to spoil the visit by telling her, but in he end it felt as if i was lying to her and so i cracked. She said she was so glad i had because she would have been very upset that i had not told her.
This was 7 weeks ago, and by now the lump is out and i am waiting for radiotherapy but no chemo.
It is going to be so hard for you waiting for your results alone, it is hard enough for those of us that have support. I did not tell anyone until i had told my husband, it seemed wrong that he should not be the first to know, but he understood that i had told my daughter. Do you have a relative or very close freind that you could share it with, it would be especially good if they could come with you for results.
Hi Sue sorry you had to join us here, your in a difficult situation but understand your decision to keep it from your husband for now. This is the most unsettling time waiting for results I agree with Janipi you need someone you can confide in right now & give you some much needed support, dont try to take this all on yourself, it would be a good idea to have someone with you when you go back for your results as either way you never take in all that is being said & having someone with you helps with what the consultant is telling you.
All the best do keep us posted
hugs
Mekala x
Hi Sue
How horrible for you, but I completely understand your unwillingness to tell your husband, particularly as there’s nothing practical he can do about it. I agree with the others, if you have someone who is very discreet that you can confide in in complete confidence, you might find it easier to deal with.
Regarding your son, because there is still a chance that it won’t be a massively serious thing (there’s no harm in a bit of optimism) then I think you’re being very kind to him not telling him just before his birthday, butit very much depends on your son how you deal with things. Is he one of those boys who’d have to have a note tied to a brick and shoved in his face before he notices things, or is he the sensitive, perceptive type? If he notices that you’re not your usual self and are fretting and worrying, that might be more of a worry for him and he would want to know. If children see there’s something wrong but don’t know what it is, they can fret that it’s something they’ve done. On the other hand if he’s a typical lad he might not have the faintest idea that there’s anything wrong. 13-yr-olds are very strange creatures, you’ll be the best person to know how to talk to him.
Give the helpline a ring, they’re very good at letting you get it all out, if you need to speak to a human voice rather than typing to a bunch of strangers.
Thank you so much, everyone, for your replies, it has really lifted my spirits. I’m trying hard to stay optimistic and carry on as usual, although really not looking forward to Tuesday, I wish my husband could be here.
Sue