It sounds like you're having a tough time at the moment. Whilst you wait for the other users to reply with their experiences do give the helpline a call and talk things through with a member of staff. Here you can share your concerns with someone who will offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 10 to 2pm.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator