Hi nadinenic,
sorry to hear you have to go through this. It is hard, especially as a parent used to running round after everyone else. How old are your kids? Mine are 13 and 9 and have taken the news very well and have been very kind and caring (though of course are not angels, and have had their moments). Very young children i think adjust/cope much more on a day to day basis. My surgery was not as drastic as yours, only had a lumpectomy on one breast, so others will need to comment on recovery time etc. 2 weeks post surgery and my youngest and I have just walked the dog together for the first time since surgery, it was lovely. Both of them have had to lower expectations regarding their entertainment(!) not least because I've not been able to drive, but actually in some ways it has been nice, we have spent more time together, they've been painting, doing crafts, playing in the garden, watching DVDs with me, etc. so not the same as usual but still...not bad considering!
Dont feel guilty. this is not your fault. A friend of mine made me feel much better about similar feelings when she told me that her mother had Bc when she was a young teenager, and that although it was hard, it made her appreciate and admire her mother all the more as a result. It is hard to let your kids see that you are not invincible, but I also think kids cope better than we expect, in many cases.
Good luck and I will be thinking of you and sending strong positive vibes your way.
Jackie