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breast cancer

20 REPLIES 20
Jo_BCC
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi San

 

As I am sure your fellow forum users will also say, it's not stupid or unreasonable to feel like you do.  Please give our helpline team a call when they are open again tomorrow and have a chat, they're here to offer both emotional and practical support for you.  Calls are free 0808 800 6000 lines open 9-5 Mon-Fri and 10-2 Sat

 

Take care,

Jo, Moderator

San_d
Member

Re: breast cancer

I'm having mastectomy and hopefully reconstruction on 8th October . I was out shopping for things to take with me when I had this awful feeling of panic. I couldn't choose anything because I don't want to be in this position . I want my 'normal' life back instead of having breast cancer always on my mind . I thought I would be able to cope better than this . At first I just wanted the mastectomy to get rid of the cancer but now I'm so frightened. I don't want to loose my breast it's part of who I am. This is the first time I've said this . I've not told family or friends because, partly I don't want to worry them and partly because I know it sounds stupid and unreasonable .
I'm like this now I don't know what I'll be like on Tuesday !
San x
Lols
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi sugar flower, believe me all your feelings are normal. I don't think there's many of us dx with bc that don't have the same fears. I felt a lot of pain after biopsy s that went on for weeks but realise now it was all stress related.
Try not to worry to much about pain after op it's not that bad and they give you analgesia, you will cope its easier when your in it if you know what I mean.
At some point you find acertain acceptance of what your going through and I suppose we all have to learn to live with these damn fears for the rest of your lives, my view I'd that when I get through chemo and rads then its my time again and it's not having the control, yes il give it a think and probably have some fears in the way but I'm doing this to have a life so I'm determined to have one.
Once surgery is behind you and all your treatment plan on paper you might feel better, hope so. Your not alone stay on the forum it really helped me. Thinking of you for surgery xx ju
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

Hi thanks for sharing your story ,it's getting closer to op date ,had talk with b.c.n RG me being scared it would spread too the other breast .i could not go through this again , they just want to do single mastectomy , and remove axillia nodes I don't deal with pain very well , I'm so very much frightened , every ache and pain I get I think it's spread why is life so cruel xx
Lols
Member

Re: breast cancer

Dear sugar flower, couldn't just read and go. I know how your feeling. I was dx in may grade 3 . 4 /25 lymph nodes involved I'm a nurse how did I miss that. Didnt have mx apparently according to bc nurse due to brill surgeon, got biggish boobs though !!! Had 2 wle and full ANC all much improved now. ANC ( lymph removal) worst part as you have a sunburn feeling for ages but going at lat op was June.
Anyway reason I'm posting is that I felt I needed to be on my own, but after op and got a plan I coped better, just had 3 rd chemo Monday , not the best times but you cope and after the first you kinda know what to expect, surprised at the tiredness though so do take it easy.
Can only say don't isolate yourself I had so many lectures of my bcn and chemo nurse , your family and friends want to help they must feel useless sometimes as they can't physically take this away for you. It's an emotional time but I promise you it gets easier, you find a level of acceptance and you will deal with it, life changes but its not all bad, I've never felt close to my family so that's a positive. Take the time to leave other stresses behind if you can Hun and just be kind to yourself.
Your not being negative , your looking for help and support that can only be a good thing. I'm normally on August chemo thread but if ever you feel you want any support please pm me, I don't mind at all.
Good luck with surgery on 9 th just think it will be gone. Take care xx ju
Lucy_BCC
Member

Re: breast cancer

Dear sugar flower
I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low, it may help to call our hepliners to talk through how you are feeling, they are on hand with a listening ear for you so do call if you can, lines are open 9-5 on 0808 800 6000 (sat 10-2)

Take care
Lucy BCC

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

hi  im feeling very low i no i have grade 1 and grade 2 in same breast ,lobular cancer ,will need  single mystectomy ,axillia nodes removed ,radiation and chemotherpy  , i go for pre op thursday ,and surgery 9th october , i have been feeling numb inside since being diagnosed ,but last few days i have had panic attacks ,i have large breasts  i cant have reconstruction  right away due to treatment ,the thought of having one large breast just hanging there is makin me feel ill  ,im so very much frightened of whats ahead ,thankyou fori listening to me ,  im sorry for being so negative ,i feel like im starting to isolate myself  ,i just want to be alone ,has anyone else felt this way .

ljmostlyautumn
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi Deborah - it's such a stressful and scary time, you are bound to be anxious. Some ladies are helped by reading others' experiences. If you want to read about my mx and node clearance and what followed with chemo & radio, my story is called 'The Big C in my bra' and it's on Amazon. My tumour was large - 5cm - and they were surprised that I had only 2 nodes involved out of 12.  I'm sorry to hear you need this op but please don't be too scared. You'll

get through it and you'll be fine - don't underestimate the relief you'll feel afterwards!

 

Good luck with your op and if there is anything you want to ask, I'm here for you and there are lots of ladies on here who are extremely supportive. We know how you feel. xx

goldengirl
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi P did you have reconstruction surgery? x

 

hawkie
Member

Re: breast cancer

I hope your anxiety settles down soon, try to look at it as a positivve thing in that it will make you better and fix you.  The medical people are fabulous and can do amazing things, we will all get thru this in the end xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

hi i had a call today they have brought my operation date forward to 9th october ,wish i could stop this feeling of anxiety , x

salkei
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi Deborah

 

i had stage 2 lobular BC with DCIS and had a mastectomy around 6 weeks ago, whilst it wasn't surgery i would wish upon anybody, it was not anywhere as bad as i had imagined. Yes i lthere is discomfort and some pain whch we all have different thresholds for, but i was happily doing most things for myself straight away. You may well have drains in place when you are discharged and they were the nusiance for me i kept forgetting to takinf them with me around the house!

Look upon it as i have done, it is a means to an end - getting rid of the squatter that has taken up residence without permission!

 

Sally xx 

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

hi had my biopsie results today the area picked up by mri scan ,showed another tumor i have to have mystectomy i broke down in front of consultant ,i thought i would just have lumpectomy ,i have taken this news badly ,i am to have counsilling ,im not a strong person ,im so dissapointed in myself for breaking down ,i no i have to be stronger ,i have a lot of support from my loving family ,which im so thankful for ,my operation is 16th october ,i will also have lymph nodes removed ,radiotherpy ,im so frightened having this procedure done .  

hawkie
Member

Re: breast cancer

Yes I agree, I had a bone scan on 13th and CT on 18th, the waiting was awful but both results were in the following morning and my BCN rang me straight away, even left one result with my OH as I was out, not sure I could have rang her back if she hadnt of done that.  But like you every little twinge had me thinking the absolute worst.  You are most probably so tense that your entire body is aching all over, I know I was.  Once the results were in, all clear, I felt so much better and ready to face it.  I had already met with my Oncologist to find out what treatment I was having so just wanted to get started after the "good" news was in.  Im only 39 so quite young to have this **bleep**.  I have grade 3 BC, I was told there were 3 lumps ranging from 1.5cm to 0.5cm, its in my nodes too and Im HER2+ so need herceptin.  I start chemo on wednesday for 6 cycles then will need a mastectomy followed by rads and herceptin til this time next year.  Sounds a lot if I think about it but thats the only thing that will make me better so Im seeing as a positive thing.  Not doing this is a worse option so Im trying to see it as a positive in that I know its there and I know what I need to do to get thru it.  It could be worse in that I didnt know it was there and it was getting bigger.  Chemo if you need it will be nasty but Ive got some many tips  off here on how to get thru it so Im ready for that, surgery wont be great either but Im thinking "its just a boob" and they can make me another one (hopefully giving me a tummy tuck at the same time so all good there really) and the rads are just an inconvenience that will add miles to my car so nothing to worry about.  None of us can make the wait go away and its pretty hellish but you will get there and thru the other side, its just going to take a bit of doing.  I hope the time flies by for you and you get good results but you will get thru it in the end, take care, love Jayne xx

poemsgalore
Member

Re: breast cancer

Dear Deborah

 

I am so sorry to hear of you losing your husband. That must have been an awful time for you.  And here you are, having to go through another.  Don't ever apologise for having a moan, that is what these forums and all we members are for. 

 

It is perfectly normal to feel as you do while you are waiting. Every little ache and pain worries you and makes you think the worst. When you have your results, and a treatment plan is in place, you will begin to feel more in control again and less worried. Sending you massive hugs and best wishes.

 

Poemsgalore xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

Hi i cant stand this waiting for results im so very stressed every ache or pain i get im thinking  it has spread is this normal to feel like this ,waiting for more biopsie results to see if other area shown on mri scan is another cancer ,my gp has signed me of work for a month ,im hoping i find out whats ahead of me mond what treatment i need ,i can deal with lumpectomy ,but not mastectomy ,i no i will crumble at that news ,iv been through a lot ,my husband died in my arms on valentines day ,6 yrs ago ,i soo need him ,ive had 3 heria operations ,a year of work with broken arm ,i now have been told i could be of work  for approx 4 months when treatment starts im now afraid i could loose my job with having more time off the stress is unberable ,i must apoligised for having a moan xxx

hawkie
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi Deborah.  The waiting is awful isnt it.  I was diagnosed officially on 11th, had a bone scan on the 12th and got the results on the 13th, got CT tomorrow which I must admit I am beside myself about, then ECG and MRI the day after.  I was told that my MRI is simply to give them a marker to see if chemo is working prior to surgery so Im trying not to worry about that but even though things are moving quickly it feels like an eternity.  Met my oncologist yesterday who told me what treatment Im having - docetaxal, herceptin and pretsomethingorother and I do feel better knowing that but the scans are still hanging over me.  Im 39 and work full time as an HLTA in a school but have been told to stay off for risk of infection from all my "little germ machines" so Im going up the walls!!  Day time TV is rubbish too and Im so tired but if I sleep during the day I dont sleep at night.  I just want to start treatment now tbh as awful as it will be.  I really hope things move quickly for you and you get some answers xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: breast cancer

hi ,thankyou for replying to my message i have since had mri scan ,and today was called in to see consultant before my scheduled appointment ,the mri showed another abnormal area in the same breast today i had 3 more biopsies ,i get results on monday i will then no if i need lumpectomy or mystectomy ,i it was mentioned that i may be going on hercepin after all treatment ,i have made myself ill with worrying im trying to stay positive  xxx

poemsgalore
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi flahertydeborah

 

I am so sorry to hear you are having such a worrying time. What Anne has said is correct. At the moment you are in limbo and don't know what to expect.  It is very rare that breast cancer has any symptoms unless you can feel a lump, or like you, it is picked up on a routine mammogram. I notice that Anne gave you a link to a very good booklet. Here is another one. 

 

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/bcc45_invasive_lobular_2013_web.pdf

 

I think when you say stage 1, you mean grade 1. They won't be able to tell the stage until after your surgery.  Have they told you whether it is Oestrogen or Progestrogen sensitive? or HER2 sensitive? As Anne said, when you have had your lumpectomy, they will tell you more about it and put a treatment plan in place. Then you will feel more in control, and less scared.

 

I found my lump in October last year. grade 3, had mastectomy  and sentinal node biopsy.  3 nodes removed, one had cancer cells in it.  Had chemo but no radiotherapy, and I'm now on Anastrazole for at least five years,  as my tumour was hormone sensitive.

 

Do not Google, just use this site and the Macmillan. Sending big hugs and wishing you all the best.

 

Poemsgalore xx

apandy
Member

Re: breast cancer

Hi Deborah

 

I feel for you.  It is very frightening but you are in the right place. There are people here to support and advise you.   

 

The surgery isn't too bad.  I had mine 12 days ago so I know.  Remember, you are asleep throughout!    You will just be a bit sore afterwards.  About a couple of weeks after surgery you should have more information about your type of cancer and what the treatment will be.  You will feel better once you have your treatment plan in place to zap the nasty beast. 

 

There are lots of people on here who can help you understand what you are going through and the type of cancer you are dealing with.  It's a mine of information!  Just know, you are not alone and other people who have been through the same thing are here to support you. 

 

The good news is that you say your cancer is stage 1 so they have caught it early.  The surgery and subsequent treatment are to  ensure it doesn't come back.  Try not to get to worried.   I know that's hard but remember breast cancer is survivable these days. 

 

You might want to read this link to this site's information page on your type of cancer.  I hope it will help you understand what you are dealing with. 

 

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/breast-cancer-information/about-breast-cancer/primary-breast-canc...

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Anne  

Guest user
Not applicable

breast cancer

HI ALL ,IM NEW TO THIS SIGHT YESTERDAY I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 1 LUBULOR BREAST CANCER ,IM SO FRIGHTENED OF WHATS AHEAD OF ME ,TODAY I HAD MRI SCAN WHICH I FOUND HARD TO COPE WITH ,I AM T0 HAVE LUMPECTOMY AND LYMPH NODES REMOVED ,I HAD NO SYMTEMS OF THIS AWFUL DISEASE ,AS IM 50YRS OLD IT WAS A ROUTINE MAMMAGROM THAT PICKED IT UP  ,DONT NO HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN THERE ,I I HAVE TO HAVE 4 WEEKS RADIATION THEREPY I FEEL SO ILL WITH ALL THIS .