thank you so much for your kind comments, i really appreciated what you said,
you are right of course, i am trying to do too much too fast, i need to slow down and take stock a bit.
i dont know about you but i feel o.k. one minute and totally confused the next, and the ses dont help, i have found i feel o.k. then back to square one the next day, with aches and pains and fatigue, but the head burn is what really gets to me.
i will keep plodding on and taking the tablets, lol
much love liz xxxxx
Hi again Liz, so sorry for you hunny. I'm in the very lucky position of not needing further tx now. My mum has just finished 5 fec (she's 73) and stopped it at that, so I understand how chemo can make you feel. It's so difficult to be at a low ebb with the surgery and body image, then to add on nasty chemo. Of course you feel crap, of course you can't move on at the moment.
I feel weird right now, I have a lot of other stuff going on (my aunt died after a long illness this morning just to add to the general nightmare), and I almost haven't reacted to the mx at all. I was sure I'd be devastated. I think it might hit me sometime, once the other losses I've had over the past few months have receded a bit. I've had a few ugh moments, it almost doesn't seem like my body. I'm glad your partner is being supportive, but that doesn't help much when you feel so bad physically and mentally. I don't have a partner, and haven't for some time. That's something that I don't know how to deal with at all, so I think I'm just ignoring it and trying to feel as positive as I can about myself (something I've never been very good at).
I would say please give yourself a break hunny, don't get upset about feeling bad and not being able to move on, this isn't the time to even try. Wait till you feel better, you're almost there with the chemo, that's a major achievement to get through! Think how well you've done, and how you're going to feel better soon, then you can start dealing with the body thing and the recon if you want it. Lots and lots of love, Lynne xx
so grateful for all your posts,
reconstruction is a real possibility for me now, i am going to be discussing it with my surgeon for definate, following my chemo and rads
once more thank you for sharing your experiences with me
Yes my life seems to be in limbo at the moment just waiting for a date. The 18 week gov target seems to mean nothing. I was sent a letter when I had to call to make my appointment with ps that mentioned it and raised my hopes but it was short lived because as soon as I saw ps he said a six month waiting list. I have made myself a nuisance with phoning the bookings sec since but no change. I'm hoping for August but I really don't know. Your wait sounds terrible. I hope you hear soon. Pam x
Ah, waiting times!!! My fav topic which seems to have overtaken my thoughts/life just now!
Im in Scotland and there seem to be ever longer queues, even though PS is supposed to be a govt target of 18 weeks.
I was put on the list in Feb last year and still have no date, but I know others who have been done much more quickly.
Must depend on surgeon/health board
Good luck with your wait-hope its a short one.
I had a right mastectomy 4 years ago, I always thought that i would be ok with one breast, but as the yeaqrs went on I hated it. Like a lot of ladies my husband always said it didnt bother him as long as I was ok. I went on to have tram flap surgery in Dec 2010. I has worked very well the results are great. I have had two previous C Sections b ut that wasnt a problem. Feel free to ask any questions.
Oh I forgot to say your c sections do not necessarily mean you can't have tram or diep it depends on where the scar is. If it is the low down horizontal one you could be ok. I have a scar there from a hysterectomy done a few years ago and I am still ok for a diep op so that is what I am booked in for.
It is a very difficult decision and a very personal one. I have always known I would want a recon. I had mx in Jan 2010 followed by chemo and rads. I would have had immediate recon but my surgeon wouldn't do it because of rads. I know it is different in other parts of the country. It may have been me who mentioned the book above as I know I posted a while ago on another thread about it. I found it a useful read before I saw the ps. I have been asked why I would want to put myself through more surgery but I am not happy as I am so think it will be worth it. With regard to if it fails - well I have seen the stats for my ps and the odds look good to me. I am now on the waiting list and wish I could go in tomorrow! My ps waiting list is about six months. I would be interested to hear how long others have to wait. I would expect this is one area where the lists will get even longer as it is non urgent surgery and hospitals will have to make cuts somewhere.
Hope the rest of your treatment goes well.
Its just another part of the difficult path we have to tread after a DX of BC.
You are right to take your time, ask questions, see pictures of surgery, get 2/3rd opinions etc.
It is a huge decision to take and given the complexity of the op, one which needs careful consideration.
Im waiting to have a TRAM op soon I hope.
I used the services of BCC who put me in phone contact with a well matched lady who had had the same op done and she was a great source of info and advised me what to ask surgeon.
The surgeon may have pics/video of his work or may put you in touch with one of his previous patients.
I saw 2 'real' results of friends who had had different recons, so I feel as informed as poss.
There are lots of websites with pics-both succesful and not so positive to give a balanced veiw.
My partner has always said it dosen't bother him but it was my decision and thankfully he supports me whatever. But it took me several months to decide if I wanted to even explore the possibilty of surgery.I know it will be a rocky road to recovery but I now know it whah I want.
I want to finish the treatment off with the recon-but Im also concerned about budget cuts and dont know if recons will be veiwed as not nessesary in the future, so Im glad Ive decided to get it done.
see some days i feel ok about having no breasts but then other days i look at myself and think how can i live the rest of my life looking like this
i havent come to terms with it yet, i know that and because i am on tax regime 1 left of 6. i feel crap anyway, its the thought of more pain and if the reconstruction wasnt a success,
i dont want to feel this way, one minute not bothered the next heartbroken, did you feel this way
i am 44, sorry to be personal but do you have a partner, i think thats an issue also, he says he isnt bothered he loves me anyway, buts thats the thing I AM BOTHERED
maybe i need to meet someone who has had reconstruction, again, there doesnt seem to be a lot of info available, maybe because i havent really come to the point yet where i am delving into it enough
sorry to ramble, but you know what i mean dont you, why carnt i just accept it and move on,i know i carnt do anything yet, i have rads and mx to left side to have, but i feel in so much turmoil,i will check out the website and hopefully find some useful stuff on there
love liz xxx
Hi Liz, I'm 49 had bilateral mx 5 weeks ago and am currently not intending to have recon. It's such a difficult decision, the good thing is you've had some time to think now. One person who's been really helpful to me is my bcc volunteer - if you call the helpline (or I think go via your bcn) they will 'match' you with someone who's been through the same. They could also help you with the recon pluses and minuses. My bcn said to me that if you decide to go for recon, you must be committed and be prepared for it to fail, I think it's important to know that there are no guarantees. I also went to a very interesting website which is about not having recon, and has a range of stories from people who've decided against or had failed recon and how they cope with it.
If you haven't seen it, it might be worth a read.
Lots of luck with whatever route you decide to take, Lynne xx
hi arnol007 thanks for that i will see if i can get the book too, all the very best to you
i would like the dolly parton look lol
happy reading liz x
I posted something quite similar a few days ago!
I had bilateral mx last June, am 45 and do not want to spend the rest of my life boobless(although initially it did not bother me - think I was just relieved cancer was gone). I am now considering reconstruction. Someone did post to me to get the book "breast reconstruction your choice" - it has just arrived from amazon,I am very excited looking at the before and after pics. Need time now to sit and read it, so i am well informed before i get an appointment with my PS. Will let you know if i find it helpful.
hi ladies, could someone give me a bit of info please, i have had a mx right side, i will be going back into hospital to have a mx on the left side after completing chemo and rads, this is preventative because i have a history
i am not happy about not having breasts but i am afraid to go for a reconstruction, i am afraid it will go wrong, i dont know what to expect, i have no one to talk to who can advise me.
i am 44, and i am kidding myself that i will be happy to live the rest of my life without breasts,
i have had 2 c sections, and as i understand it fat cannot be used from my tummy,
i dont want implants, i would rather my own body be used to re construct my boobs
please someone explain to me what it all involves i am really fed up at the moment, and could do with something positive apart from my last tax to look forward to
many thanks liz