Next month is the year anniversary and i seem to be getting myself into a mess worrying about the up coming mammogram - life has only just gone back to “normal”. whilst going through my journey my partner had his own personal problems (with his kids) and left for 3 months when i felt that i was at my worst emotionally. I now struggle to share my fears and worries over this scary time. He cant understand why i wont talk to him and why im sometimes quiet and in thought. I realise he cant understand the “will it come back? will i die? will i see my kids grow up?” concept but i feel like a little sympathy wouldnt go amiss!
sorry, needed to get it off my chest (so to speak!!)
Hi
I am coming up to 6 years since DX
It still worries me. I am now open with my husband and we talk alot
but we didn’t and it led to all kinds of problems. Please try and tell him how you feel else how can he give you the support you need
take care
love Louise
Hi Deed, every scan, every test, every twinge, every anniversary. The whatifs sneak up on us all. There is every chance that you will get the all clear and float out of the hopsital and wonder what the fuss was about but it is totally understandable that you are worried now. Some OHs on here seem wonderful. Mine was bad at empathising - I think scared and unable to express in some ways but this came across as disinterested and acting like I was being hysterical/ hypochondriac. I guess unless you have been there you will never totally understand what it feels like, when the emotional takes over the rational part at times. Oh, and he’s a man. Not all but many are terribly emotionally repressed and interpret any discussion of feelings as weakness or hysteria.
You can talk, you can talk to us, you probably have other friends who you know will understand and sympathise and none of us will think anything less of you for expressing worries or ranting and celebrating when you get the all clear x
Thanks girls, its soo wonderful having this site and knowing that the most stupid of questions arent going to be laughed at and the best first hand advice will be given. Hugs to you all
If there’s one thing about this disease that we all need to remember it is that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A STUPID QUESTION.
And I have to say, Deed, you look absolutely gorgeous in your photo. Every time I see your avatar I think “Wow!” but haven’t got round to saying so yet. But Wow.
I had my first mammogram from DX last Friday, can’t help worrying about the results.
My OH is very good at listening to me, and I have loads of friends and workmates who have been so kind over the past year.
I still think like you that it takes somebody in the same position to understand how it feels, and the ladies on the forum certainly can help us with that.
Hope all goes well for you, andIi will let you know how I get on.
choccie muffin, you made me laugh - thank you!!
Anne, thank you for sharing, I really hope all the results are positive and stop you worrying. Some days are good and others i could sit and cry for hours worrying about the “what ifs!!”
I remember you going through surgery just before me last year and was wondering how you are getting on!
I too am feeling exactly the same as you when I wonder if I’ll be starting the rollercoaster again. My little girl is 6 and I feel awful for her that something might happen to me.
For ages I assumed because I “only” had high grade DCIS that the chances of recurrence would be small, but every time I see the Oncologist he is checking my other boob and round my neck and then the panic rises again as there is obviously a chance of it happening again or else he wouldn’t be doing it.
I’m seeing my surgeon on Thurs for a check up and I have a mammo and ultrasound at the beginning of April.
I really do feel for you, and quite selfishly I feel comforted that I’m not the only one having these thoughts 12 months on!
The problem with my OH is when I try to tell him when I start feeling worried he just tells me I’ll be fine, as he thinks if he sympathises then I will just spiral.
Good luck with the mammo and let us know how you get on!
xxxxx