sorry to her you've joined the club but we are here to help and most importantly understand what you're goign through.
Generally speaking you start losing some hair from day 10-14 after each of your chemos so towards the end of 2nd week. Having said that I had still lots of hair after 2 rounds of EC and although it had thinned no-one could really tell but I still decided to shave it all off as I hated finding hair everywhere and my scalp was driving me mad (itchy and red).
Re outings - week 3 i.e. the last week before your next chemo will be your best bet as you start perking up a bit by then.
Hope you are healing well after your surgery and keep doign those exercises to gain full mobility xx
Hi kurup - read this thread yesterday and your problems with transport. Have just remembered that I have read about being able to request that you have your chemo at home, I think a nurse comes to your home and administers the infusion . This was mentioned by someone 5 years ago and the my brother in law who is a GP asked me if I was having mine done at home so it is obviously happening now.
It might be worth ringing the helpline and that of McMillan for advice. That would solve the problem of you not having to drive yourself such a long journey.
Also have you contacted the LEA about help with school transport for your children. They may already be supplying transport for someone else that you could share. Good luck. Marli x
Thanks for your response and suggestions.
I hope you find the rest of chemo better. You sound like one of thise that positively does get hit by a bus. Poor thing, but keep strong xxx
Your idea re hospital transport...do you know it never came into my mind. I know it exists but just assumed it was for really sick people or elderly lol !! I am most certainly going to check this out thanks for that.
Keep strong xx
Thanks for your suggestions.
We have considered all of these .. the kids b&b /hotel idea we would never do....at such a difficult time that would just be awful for them...they are very much coping alone in all this anyway with their dad away .... if it came to that my husband would just give up his job and come back to the U.K. .. simples ! College is just a stand alone Sixth form ... no accomodation etc. Kids have home responsibilities anyway of dogs and horses ... if kids not here then I have to try and find / hire help for animals..tried and failed.
No family close enough to do weeks college run sadly, and we have looked into hiring but very difficult to get temporary short term and most do not come as car drivers with own insured for purpose car / credentials. And it was not much cheaper than taxis. We looked in to the live in au pair, help exchange etc etc .....all sounds easy but we cant offer LIVE in and many can't drive, and we have to live in a public transport area, this list goes on and on.
Thanks for the chemo tips....again it shows just how different chemo can be from person to person...you seemed to have coped admirably for your first session and if thats the worse then I may get away with it if I am as you have been ..... my husband may be able to be here for that if it follows on fairly promptly from oncology appointment this coming monday :). We can always be positive.
I will certainly demain the best anti emetic drugs .. I am use to those anyway due to my Crohns disease. I am use to coping with a major chronic ilness that causes inflammation of the gut, sickness, stomach pain , overwhelming tiredness, anaemia, joint aches etc so I hope to already have a good grounding for what chemo may throw at me .... I still won't try to be superwoman but wonder if I am any better able to cope because of this...I hope this is the case!
Thanks for the tips and suggestions its been a real help.
When the going gets tough the tough get going ....... thanks ladies you are a real inspiration in coping full stop..never mind the school run xxx
Hi waiting....Well the children (2 youngest) have almost moved on thats my worst logistical problem. Son now almost 21 (infact he is on monday 23rd my oncology appointment day), working....been driving since 17 .... I may well have to get him to come back HOME and drive girls to college and me to my sessions if need be, but still positively hoping that this will not be necessary. My son will have to ask for time off or take his holidays.....but sure he will do that, but its a big ask really...but if it comes to that I'm sure he will.
I have not a problem accepting help from friends and family, just difficult with all of them being several hours away and abroad. I have one friend from the village that has offered help to me but only on her day off Wednesday....I will take her up on the offer if needed.
I again am just hoping that chemo doesn't knock me for six.....sorry to read that it did you ....again like many have said its hard to know until you start going through it
It sounds idyllic but be challenging when children need to move on with education/life. Mine would die without the city within their grasp independently but hay we are from different worlds. Our oldest boy drives which I must say has been a god send as also have a younger boy.
Breast Cancer is a great leveler and came as a great shock to most on here and sadly blows our lives/ routines etc apart but the chemotherapy for me has been the hardest part as each cycle has knocked me for six Im not going to lie to you.
Im sure college etc will support your children and it is amazing how people rally around and help out I have been touched by th genuine kindness of friends and family.
But, I had to accept that the help was needed first and this was hard for me.
I do hope things work our for you.
If life was that simple!I think where we live has a lot to answer for...no public transport, quite rural......and as for help.. I couldn't get anyone decent in for love nor money...I paid well too...have offered again to employ someone part time.....ponies to compete even HOYS & RIHS LEVEL....NO TAKERS. Sad really but there you have it. College have yet to be informed...its asixth form..daughters both doing a levels..one going thru uni application process...my illnesses I have not just the cancer but crohns have a lot to answer for..we are to go in soon as I feel the odd late arrival and delayed pick up may be the norm soon so they need to know. Kids old enough to cope with amusing themselves etc if lift doesn't come at the normal time....they could revise for exams !!!!! I'm sure we will get through it...all will pan out I am sure ! 🙂
Thanks for your response.
Sadly my 18 year old has not taken her driving test as yet and only been having lessons since her 18th Birthday feb 4th, she had 4 legs for her 17th birthday by way of horse...keen horse lovers in this family. With Crystal ball at hand I maybe would have gone for car option last year but who would have guessed what life throws at us. Anyways, we have nowsold the horse and my horse lorry and lesons and car purchase also in the not too distant future but sadly not in place by time its needed.
My eldest has been driving since 17 but is away most of the time so not that practical, However it has been discussed that if things get so bad he may have to step in.....other plan in the contingency bucket is the good old taxi but it is so expensive so will only be called upon if I am really ill. Other thought we had was to book her driving lesson early morning and eldest of two girls can drive to college with sister in back .... how practical this would actually be is debatable as lessons are usually booked in advance and I gues it will be hard to forward plan what day I can't manage in advance.
Gosh breast cancer is so complicated !
Anyways, I am sensible and wouldn't over do it ....just curious as to how chemo makes most people feel.
Never did I think the school run could be so complicated.
But hats off to all you ladies out there making itwork....hats off to the child minder too ... gosh I have hard job coping with breast cancer looking after my own brood ... never mind others..amazing
I would really, really think about some kind of backup plan. Do your older two children drive? If they do maybe a few dry runs to build confidence for the days when your unwell because there will be difficult days.
Some women cope with the treatment and even manage to work but some have a hard time and really struggle. We are all precious individuals and react differently to the harsh reality that is chemotherapy.
Please dont try to be wonderwomen and ask for the help of those who love you you may need them.
Good Luck x
Hi riverside dawn
I have not a clue as yet what I will be on...seeing the oncologist 23 feb. But thanks for the response...I now have some chemo drug names to look out for. Will look into the friends and sleep over idea but logistically not sure I can manage to get two girls with different friendship groups to sort matching sleep overs....and the next logistical nightmare would be without my two girls at home I would have to then sort out 3 horses & 4 dogs..my girls have been fantastic in managing own their own without my input......so on the one hand I couls save myself a journey but would have so much to do by myself at home with the animals that it may be worse.
I guess I am just trying to sound people out as to how doable 'life' is in general whilst on Chemotherapy.
I think I am going to have to hope and pray that I can manage....I will have to deploy mind over matter techniques I think.
My busy lifestyle without husband as he is abroad is second nature normality to me...I think.I am more irritated by what limitations has been put upon me with the surgery 3 weeks ago. I have driven the car once since surgery..7 days after...that side of things was fine...haven't ever since then as hubby been home to lok after me, but I will have to resume normal activities and routine as soon as he goes back. Just hoping and praying that I am given chemotherapy that works but is gentle on me in all other respects due to the Crohns and my no choice in the matter schedule....but even I know there probably isn't a 'gentle' chemo.
Will let you all know how I get on ... but reading all posts most of you seem to get by ok.
I am just about to start chemo too & it was the 'school' albeit college run in my case that has been giving me grief trying to fathom out whether doable or not. But guess I just will not know until chemo starts how it will affect me. I am slightly compromised due to already suffering from Crohns disease, have been warned I become sicker than most. But I keep chundering on to myself ' I will not be defeated'.
I have older children, aged 20, 18, 16 the younger 2 are doing A Levels at college, we live rurally and sadly I don't have the friends lift share options, and the college runs are twice a day 35 mile round trip twice over, slow winding rural country roads then queing into busy town (oh joy). So 70mile a day....at least kids old enough to be well behaved when they get in to the car! I hope I can manage.
I sadly also live 50 away from hospital. So I will be driving myself in and back from chemotherapy sessions, and believe a week before each cycle I also return for bloods etc. So that will be a 100 mile round trips for chemotherapy and it prepsessions on top of the actual school run.
Oh yes forgot to say my hubby not around either as he lives/works abroad. He's been home for the op/ results etc and for a period post christmas due to being hospitalised for Crohns prior to being diagnosed BC. He can only come home when built up enough holiday, as used all the 'compassionate' leave his company could give him (5 days).
We haveooked into 'contract taxis' for the girls at college twice a day but it is 35 quid each trip £70 per day £350 per week ....... errrrrr I don't think so!! We have already sold one competition horse and my horsebox to adjust to the momey struggles oh having hubby home and the loss of earnings for a few weeks. Alternatives for us are just not there, I so want to know if I can cope.
So even though you may feel poorly if you are bad what is it like......will I still be able to drive if I really have to ????? I have visions of pulling up at the traffic lights and being dreadfully ill over the dash and steering wheel.......
It's the unknown that's getting the better of me!!
But you ladies seem to have coped pretty well.
Well done yous !
Happiness, chemo didnt totally flatten me this time and hi ho its off to school we go...
Followed by mummys nap.
Thanks for reassuring me ladies.
oo thank you. ! Ramble is good. Ive just had a social worker visit to talk about helping the kiddlets through. Apparently theres a lot of things for them. Like art therapy, Cooooo00000ooool
Anyway I talked to my neighbour, and she'd already arranged to lend her car on the tough days so all the girls fit. Proof I should delegate and have more faith.
You've made me feel heaps better. 🙂
All starts on thursday. Girls having a sleepover next door as I have to leave by 6am. (Secretly pleased for a morning off and know they'll get fancy crepes for breafast, instead of vegemite toast)
You make it sound doable
Hugs..good luck with phase 2. They told me its better than phase 1. Xx
Thank you. Phew. Deep breath. 🙂
Just had to lean on everyone for the next 10 days as appointments back to back at the hospital before chemo starts. Have learnt my friends are great jugglers.
I shall trust them to pick us up.
Thanks for replying.
Thanks so much.
Woke up this morning feeling completely panicky and this really helps.
The school are happy to help, they've been really supportive through the surgical stuff.
I guess its a 'how long is a piece of string ' question really.
Deep breaths, shake it off and keep moving forward.
Due to start AC chemo soon and fretting about how it will affect our family life. I drive my primary school age kiddlets to school and home, theres no bus.
I have friends who will help with car pooling, hate relying on others..but I think learning that skill will be a side effect of bc...
Im wondering how badly side effects upset this routine, curious as to how families cope
. Their Dad commutes and is gone by 6am, not home till 6pm. They're 10& 11, perfectly capable of many things.
Just wondering if you have any advice, tips, heads up moments?