thanks to all who replied it's nice to know I'm not alone-I find it very hard to cope at the momement but I will take all comments on board and hope something strikes a chord for me personally. Know I'm lucky in lots of ways but at the moment that doesn't really help (selfish!!) but thats just the way I feel.
wow stella-very motivating-will give it a go -thank you
I was DX with DCIS in August 2010 and was where you are now. I got through it by firstly - praying. Not everyone's cup of tea I know but for me, it did the trick. I simply say every night the Serenity prayer - "Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can change and the wisdom to know the difference". It is dead simple but it has totally change my life. Give it a go. On the back of this I have started going to church every sunday. Hubby is RC so we go there. It is really spiritually uplifting and has helped me no end.
Next, every evening I try to think of about 5 lovely things that happened to me that day - even if I had a nice breakfast, someone smiled at me in the co-op, I made my grand son laugh - that kind of thing. Even when I feel really down there is usually something that went well or pleased me.
I also try to make each day score 8 out of 10 in terms of how good a day I have had. When I started doing this, I was at a 4 out of 10. Now I am at 8 and the other day, I had a 9. It took some doing.
Also, and this is personal to me, I changed my hairstyle and make up. I realised that I am not the same person I was before my DX so I changed me. I cleared out a load of old crappy clutter.
I still have my down days and even so, I still do all these things and just let those days come and the good thing is, they go away.
We can't change what has happened to us, only how we choose to deal with it. I hope this has helped you a bit.
dont be hard on yourself, this is one hell of a journey that we all struggle with! Im now a year down the line and back to work full time but had a complete melt down yesterday when somebody mentioned cancer on tv. sat and sobbed into my husbands arms that nobody understood what its like to think of cancer every day. I feel angry that my "innocence" to life has gone. my 8 year old mentions her 18th birthday and I dont think "how exciting" my first thought is "will i be here". I cant plan anything more than about 9 months away.....just incase it comes back!
I think these melt down moments become less and less frequent as the years come and go - god i hope so!!!
but in the meantime, we cant be hard on ourselves, pour a glass of wine, have a good cry and then carry on and hope that its a bit longer in time until the next one.
Your not alone and it helps to share your worries.
hi lizziebits ,are you in the early days after dx?i am 8 months in and have asked for counselling and have just gone on citalopram, i know it takes a couple of weeks to kick in. it is dreadful and when i see other ladies going back to work and enjoying every bit of life i dont see myself in that way yet others say i am so strong but i really dont feel it. my first thought in morning is cancer and i hate that word with a passion ,but please dont think you are not coping how the hell do we cope?i have dealt with it up to now but keep having ongoing probs and its just got to me,juat take a day at a time give the meds a chance sending you hugs x
I am finding it really hard to cope with the feelings of having been through this situation and I feel like no body understands and that i am going mad - i cant eat, sleep or function the doc has given me medication but it just isnt working - i dont know what to do