I am stil waiting for my results am climbing the wall, i don't have an appointment to go back for my core biopsy results but like i said i know that they are back. I phoned the hospital this afternoon and they know that i am happy for my results to be faxed to my GP even if i have to go and see my consultant i would rather have the results knowing that they are ready. However my consultant has not made a report on them and her secretary is not sure if she will be okay for my results to be faxed rather than me going back to see her!!!AAAARRRRGGG. I can't sleep am working from 8am ti 6pm at the minute keeping a house for me and my 3 son's and pining for my husband who left. And can't stop crying try hard not to infront of my boys they have all cleared out tonight so thought that i would come on here and vent my frustrations. Am sure some of you who have been diagnosed must think that i am mad as you are living with bc and i am in this state and mabye don't even have it. Oh this is awful. My niece (my sister who died of bc's daughter) is so anxious for me to get my results she is not sleeping either what an effect this has on everybody. So sorry to rave on folks!!
well my results are ready and i want them from my gp rather that the consultant that i have been seeing on home ground is much better even if i hav to go and see my consultant it would still be better to get results from my gp.roll on monday as i hope they will send them then. At least the waiting will ber over!! x
Good on you girl, so glad you slept. Hope today was a bit better for you.
It's so hard moving on - or at least I've found it to be. There's a book by Paul McKenna called 'How to Mend Your Broken Heart' which has all sorts of tips to help manage the grieving process, as part of what makes it difficult to move on is living in the same pattern but with a hole where the other person used to be. Don't know if it might help you but there were a few tips in it that helped me. I was too chicken to get counselling, so just lived a half life for ages!
So glad you had a little red wine. Isn't life for living! And there's quite a lot of evidence to say red wine in moderation may actually be good for you! I love reports that say things I like are good for me and ignore the ones that say I should eat a ridiculous number of vegetables every day and exercise constantly!
Hope you're being extra nice to yourself at the moment.
Sleep well, E x
Thank you Emmeline that is lovely words, you are right i am going back a step with my husband cos i feel like i did when he left it was like loosing him again and i have to pull my self togeher as i had been moving slowly on. I will never truly get over losing him but i must concentarate on getting through this next week or so. I had a glass of red wine last night and would you beleive i managed a good nights sleep so not sure if it was the wine or just the fact that i was so dog tired. I won't tell my mam that i had wine as she had been reading an article in the sunday papers asking if there was a link to drinking wine and bc!! x
Lack of sleep certainly doesn't help - everything becomes magnified and so difficult to deal with. Of course you miss your husband now; other family are great, but no-one holds you and comforts you like a partner can.
And of course it's a very big deal for him that this shadow is hanging over you, both as his ex and as his kids' mother. It's great that he felt able to say those things to you. When someone moves on to another relationship, I think it's more usual that they either don't feel able to acknowledge the previous relationship, or they're so emotionally blocked that they convince themselves there was nothing there.
Be careful with your heart now - you're going through an exceptionally tough few weeks so I would strongly recommend you be as strong as you can and don't slip back to square one in your feelings for him. When you're so low and scared it's easy not to think of tomorrow but only of today, but you will have many, many tomorrows, whatever the diagnosis. So I would say to concentrate on getting through the days ahead - if there's still something there for you both, time enough later to explore that.
You poor thing, that's the toughest situation to deal with on top of everything else. Maybe after so many night's bad sleep tonight will be good. Really hope so.
Thinking of you, E x (ps really like your word 'bosie' - sounds very comforting)
Thanx Emmeline, yes my mum is some case, it's just her way of coping as she is worried sick til we get my results all my family are as they all went thru this when my sister had BC, we are a big family and quite close really. I have been very emotional since yesterday (sunday). I miss my husband so much. He knows about me but has never asked how i am this is upsetting me so much as he always said that he would be here for me and cares about me. When he was here yesterday infact it was him who asked about my mam he never asked about me and i started to cry explaining how i felt. He said that he did care but now that he had a new partner it was difficult for him, How can it be difficult to care about somebody who you spent 22 years with!! He said that he askes the boys how i am but i don't tell them things and try not to cry in front of them. I am a person who loves a bosie (cuddly) and i miss that when i explained how i felt that even a txt now and again would not go amiss i don't expect him to phone or come round but just a small justure like a txt would be fine. He did say that he thinks of me and does care, and that he should have made the effort to make contact, anyway he did give me a bosie and had a tear or two. However this has just upset me as i have so much feelings for him and i just need to learn to distance myself from him but it is so so hard. Every time i think i am getting over him something happens and i feel i miss him more. Oh dear I am rambling on tonight!! I think that lack of sleep makes me even more weepy. I jsut wish that the results were back. Am trying to keep busy!! x
Not sure if you meant to tell that story about your mum so amusingly, but it made me laugh out loud! What a perfect way for her to learn what you meant.
It sounds like you managed to stay calm at the wedding and get through everyone's good wishes - well done you. You're right, they do mean well, and I guess once they know you know they know (still with me?!) they almost have no choice but to say something nice to you, but glad for you that's over.
Hope you're doing okay.
Thanx Kharga somebody else mentioned that it would be magnified fingers crossed that i will hear by the end of this week.
Well i have been to "the Wedding" and all my aunties, cousins their partners and any other relatives that my mam knew have all been told about my "problem" and i was approached by them all and all good wishes bestowed upon me. Goodness knows how many prayers i am going to be included in and how many ministers will be praying for and talking about me in church today!! Bless them they mean well and i will accept any prayers but mum's eh!! she had a liver scan on thursday which showed that she has a fatty liver and i told her that i had mentioned it to somebody who had been askin after who knew that she was having a scan and she was angry that i had told to which i replied well please don;t tell everybody about me!! My cousin kept saying that she was feeling good vibes and that all was going to be well with me so i had to remember that!! Oh dear i give up. I know that they mean well. X
The view that is on the screen that the sonographer looks at is highly magnified - that is so that they can place needles in very small objects! When I had mine done he said that he thought it was about 6mm - at op it was 4mm!
Al lthe best
Hi Emmeline and thanks for your reply. Re the wedding i had anothere auntie on the phone last night with all her stories of people who have had breast cancer and that i won't be wanting to go to the wedding i reasured her that i was really looking forward to the wedding but that i am now worried that all the aunties are going to be making a b line for me!! I told her if she could let her sisters know that i am thankful for their concern but that i am at the wedding to forget about things for a while and although i know that they mean well i would not like to speak about things especially when my sons will be there as they are not fully aware of what is going on; Will let you know how i get on. X
Sorry to hear you were so sore afterwards and hope things are much better now. Three things:
1) if the sonographer said the lump is very small, I would absolutely believe it. Their equipment can enlarge things, so it could be that the lump you were seeing was magnified. I've always found them to be absolutely straight about whether anything is large, small or unusual.
2) Something very similar happened to a friend of mine. She had the lump out and it was fine. Sore, but fine. A truly horrible scare for her and one that she says she will never completely get over, but she is fine.
3) My sympathies about the cat being out of the bag for the wedding. Just about the only up side I can see is that if you get to the stage where you're screaming inside and want to leave, everyone would understand. What a shame when you were about to have a few hours of escape from this ghastly waiting game and get to enjoy the wedding. I personally kept completely quiet about what I was going through until I got diagnosed, because although it's a terrible thing to go through, dealing with other people's reactions really wasn't something I had the energy for.
The sonographer's information certainly isn't bad news, that's how I would look at it. 10 days can feel like an eternity though, I know. And there's just about nothing you can do that takes your mind off it.
We should start a thread for distraction suggestions! They would have to be great though, as it's soooo difficult to push the thoughts out of your head.
Hope the wedding (and concerned guests) goes as well as poss. Look forward to hearing how you're doing. Will be thinking of you.
just back from thr core biopsy started crying when i seen the lump looks bigger than it did last week tho i stil can't feel it.sonographer said that it is very small but it looks big to me!! have to wait 10 days for results that will be a long 10 days.he says that the last biopsy just showed abnormal cells no cancer and this biopsy just to see if same showing or if is stage C1 to C6 i think that what he said.he thinks that the lump will prob have to be surgically removed but have to wait for results.does anybody think that is reasuring? They said that i should not work today but the letter did not say this so am in from 1 til 6. am quite sore and it is on right side. do wil stop typing as doing it with left hand takin ages. just want to thank everybody for their good wishes.walton i will facebook you later if am not too sore. x
Thanks Emmeline yes would be good to be a head in the sand person. Well am sitting having a glass of wine in the hope that i will sleep tonight before my core biopsy. Was up and out for a long walk at 8am today i am so tired yet can't seem to manage a nights sleep!! I will go to my work from 1 til 6 am sure that i will be fine though not looking forward to it i must say. It is going to be the next few weeks waiting for the results that is going to be worst. We have a big family wedding this weekend and i would have prefered if my aunties cousins etc didn't know at the minute what is happening but my mum has told one af them and she was on phone today oh my i had so many stories of all the folk that she knew who had bc and i just know that is all i am going to get at this wedding on sat and i was so looking forward to it too. I know tha they mean well but i would just like to go on as normal. I haven't been diagnosed yet!! Must admit i am thinking the worst though but hope like walton that if i do have bc that it has been caught early enough!! x
I think you should be fine to work afterwards - after my core biopsies I did go in to work. Of course it felt completely unreal trying to be totally normal and talk about things that seemed so unimportant. I didn't go straight in but went and had a cup of coffee in a cafe near the hosp and took my time going in. After my stereotactic one I was much less fine, but if I had done my two tips [in my last message], it would have been okay. It is a bit like an assault though, so I'd plan some way of being lovely to yourself. And the bruising afterwards looked pretty impressive!
Ref thoughts of death etc, I was the exact same. You need to protect yourself by preparing for the worst, which means thinking through all of the possibilities and issues. This is why it's so awful to be going through the tests, because it's impossible to live through it without thinking those thoughts and yet you may hear on Thursday that you're absolutely fine (really hope so). A terrible experience. This is when being a head in the sand kind of person would be easier!
All best, and will be thinking of you, E x
P.S forgot to ask do you think that i will be able to work on thursday after my core biopsy at 9am? I work from 1pm til 6pm!! Would have to get cover if not. x
I wish you well Kharga! Am feeling silly to-night as i have not been diagnosed yet but am thinking awful thoughts about the future ie my funeral!! Is this normal? My god with being seperated i worry about my kids as 2 of them don't realy speak much to him. I don't want to be doom and gloom it just hit me when i was out walking i started to cry. I have been so strong too!! x
I am going back for a check-up 6 weeks after I finished reads, but am on a trial for rads,called IMPORT LOW, so will be checked more than most, who will have yearly mammos for the next 10 years.
Good luck with your biopsy.
Ok Lol,they are really good at this pc malarky I had to get my daughter to help me get on.Now my Oh has had to buy me my own as we keep fighting whose turn it is LOLxxxxxx
Thanks for your comments guys i have been so greatful of this website. My appointment is at 9am so hopefully i will be first appt that day and not have to hang about to long. My friend is coming with me for support. Am still not sleeping to well and i guess will be like that til i get the result and your right i guess what's going to happen will happen. I just wish that me and my husband were still together i miss him so much especially going through this!!
Walton i am going to ask my son to help me with your face book and see if i can send you an e-mail!!
As far as I'm aware there are two different types of core biopsies - the one described by redders and walton, and another which is called "stereotactic core biopsy". I had both. I had the same experience too as redders and walton for the first kind. The breast care nurse was lovely, held my hand, and seemed very nervous about its being painful for me, but it was absolutely fine - my needle biopsy had hurt much more. The hosp probably is just including waiting time etc.
Due to inconclusive results from that I ended up having to have a stereotactic core biopsy and this took what was probably 30 mins. I did find this a painful and miserable experience. Doing it again, I would take paracetemol beforehand as taking it afterwards had an immediate pain relieving effect, and I would insist on a foot-rest (they had me uncomfortably tilted forwards so that my arms got exhausted trying to hold myself upright). I think those two simple changes would have made it much better.
What I would also say to you is that I still look back at that pre-diagnosis stage as one of the worst parts of bc and I really feel for you - it's a terrible time. Until they diagnose bc there is everything to hope for that it won't be. I used to say to myself "what's going to happen's going to happen" which would calm me for a little while.
Take care, I'll be thinking of you and hoping all fine, E x
Yes I think it must be waiting time as mine only took about 10mins though was there waiting for about 90mins.Good luck for thursdayxxx
I had a core biopsy and it didn't take anything like an hour and a half. Maybe they are including waiting time and giving you the local anaesthetic etc. Once they got started the whole thing took about 10 minutes. Once the local was in I didn't feel a thing - just a noise like a staple gun going off! It's really not too bad, so don't worry - although I know that's easy to say. I've also had a cone biopsy where I laid face down on a table with my boob through a hole in the table, the table is then raised up and the doctor sits underneath you! Once again after the local anaesthetic I didn't feel it at all. The longest bit was the nurses trying to get me comfortable on the table before the doctor began. He removed a piece of tissue which they tested immediately in a thing like a microwave and told me it was just calcification - this was 3 years ago, before my dx this June.
Hi Lol.If you put my Name in the Send private message ,then write your message as normal only i will get your email name and adress
Hi Kharga, am glad that you are doing well. Thanks for adding your comment. I guess you didn't feel a lump either? That is what i find strange that i can't feel anything yet the mammogram and ultra sound picked it up and that it is so superficial just under my skin at top of my breast. I can't stopp poking at the area now to see if it is growing. I was told that it would take 3 weeks to get my results however i guess if it is cancer that i would be recalled sooner to be started on treatment. How often do you have to go back for checkups now?
Still waiting for my core biopsy appointment to come through have been trying the x-ray dept but no reply so left a message on answer machine i will take any cancellation. Like i say the waiting game is awful.
Take care x
Thanks Eleanor, i tried to set up a face book but i am not very good on the computer my friend from Americal sent me one. my address is it would be good to keep in touch. You have certainly had stress yourself what with your husband going through his lung transplant. I hope he is doing well. And a daughter of 21 to keep you going too!!
I have been reading through this forum and have been touched by everybodies individual experience of bc. It does seem that friends have been made through this site.
Thanks for your correspondence try me on face book and i will see if i manage a reply!!
P.S still no word of my appointment for the core biopsy.X
Like Walton I was diagnosed following mammo in June this year, had a recall for 4th july when i had another mammo, ultra sound and core biopsy. The chap doing the ultra sound said that it needed to come out. Returned the following week to be told it was tubular cancer.Wide Local Excision and removal of 6 lymph nodes at the end of july, followed by 15 sessions of radiotherapy and Arimidex. Now all done and dusted and getting on with life.
All the staff whereever I have been were lovely to me and very understanding.
All the best
Hi Lol.No I don't have a history of BC in the family.It sounds as though they have kept a really good check on you.This is why the site can help you.You can let all your feelings out on here,leaving you to be there for your children.I'm sure your thoughts are with your sister but you are so right that the advancement treating this dammed disease has improved,they can do so much now.As I said my cells were classed as nearly normal so thankful that it was caught early.I have been positive through out even when I was DX that I wouldn't get rid of it.I think there is a high factor of stress being one of the factors of BC and the fact that your husband left you may have contributed to it.Is there anyone who can go with you next time they can be your ears and pick up things you may miss.I was treated at Stepping Hill and Manchester Christies,I also said i'm not going to be doom and gloom and thought to myself I'm not going to worry as it won't go away worrying about it ( yes it was easier said than done sometimes )but intended to use that energy for my family,my Husband had a double lung transplant 5yrs ago and my daughter who is nearly 23.
You take that paper in with you and ask them questions nothing sounds silly to the breast cancer team.I really wish you the best of results please let me know .xx
Thanks what a good idea to keep a piece of paper at your bedside as that is when my mind is going over time.
Did you have any history of breast cancer in your family? you said that you like me did not feel a lump, was it found through a routine mammogram? My sister was only 29 when she had her cancer and died at 32 her children were only 6 and 4 at the time.her daughter, my niece is so worried that i will have bc also. I try to tell her that there have been so much more advances in treatment in the past 17 years since her mother died. but i guess that if i am honest that is where my thoughts lie with my sister and what she went through as this is my families only dealing with bc. i am trying to think positive though as i know that being all doom and gloom won't help me. I have 3 sons aged 20, 17 and 14 and i have to be positive for them. My husband left 2 years ago and i do find it hard and save my tears for bedtime when on my own.xx
I'm afraid it is the worst part The waiting game and theres nothing you can do.I like you kept busy cleaned everywhere,from top to bottom,went for walks.put a piece of paper at the side of the bed and write down any questions you may think of at the silly hours of the night.once you have your results there will be a breast cancer nurse who can go through them with you,they are very good and no question that they can't answer.She should pass you a bible of soughts that have all the abbreviations.rest when you canxxxxx
Thank you to everybody who replied to me. I got it wrong in my message i had a cone mammogram and have to go for a core biopsy!! all these words with letters are confusing. It would be nice to have had somebody to come into the consultation with you as you tend to forget what was said and as the doctors are dealing with this all the time they seem to take it for granted what they tell you. I was stunned to be honest and my consultant asked i had read the leaflet that was handed to me when i arrived (it was about a breast trial survey) and if i would be keen to take part and of course i said yes so she just left the room and i had to wait for the nurse to come and explain things to me and she was so cheerful sayin what a nice day it was and that i would be happy to be going home to enjoy the rest of the day. To be honest i couldn't get out of the hospital quick enough i felt sick.
I find the waiting game awful i am trying to keep busy but i am so tired as i have not slept since the recall and now having to wait for an appointment to come through and then wait for the result will probably take another month!!
Hi lol2705 and welcome to the forums,
I can see you have received lots of support here already, in addition you may find it helpful to call our helpline where you will be able to talk to someone in confidence about the concerns you have. Our helpline is on 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2.
Hi Cathy,Yes i was told that mine was tubular cancer grade 1 a 6mmlump.I couldn't feel it,the specialst said because it was grade 1 there isn't much difference between normal cells and abnormal.I had the lump removed ,radiotheraphy and Arimed to be taken for 5yrs.Hope you get the very best of results and the waiting for results not to long, as the waiting seems to be the worst part.take care and please let us know how you go onxx
When I had my fine needle aspiration, they knew there were malignant cells present and I had to have a core biopsy too. This is just so they can get a bigger piece of tissue to examine. Abnormal cells don't mean malignant and may not even mean pre cancerous - a benign growth can show up as abnormal but never go on to be cancer. Abnormal simply means not typical breast cells.
I was told my fine needle aspiration result was C3 - no idea what this meant and I thought I was told that I needed a cone biopsy, not a core biopsy so I wondered why I needed a sample of my cervix. C3 when you look it up on the internet means that you probably don't have cancer but there is a possibility of it, so maybe that's the result you got. I think they find some abnormal cells but it's the proportion of them that is crucial.
There's a scale from atypical hyperplasia ie abnormal cells and too many of them, through DCIS/LCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ/lobular carcinoma in situ) - a lot more abnormal cells but still in the duct/lobe, through to IDC and LDC (invasive ductal and lobular cancers).
I wish someone had explained it all to me but I was too anxious to ask and the doctor I saw didn't look particularly keen to explain.
I had an appointment at a one stop clinic today. My sister died 17 years ago with bc and i am a high risk. I have been getting mammograms for the last 17 yrs through the genetic clinic and was recalled just last week. The letter said that it was most likely a shadow but had to be checked because of my family history. I received a core mammogram and had an ultrasound with a biopsy and although the lump! which i cannot feel didn;t look suspicious as the radiographer told me there was still some abnormal cells tho the consultant said that the cells were more normal than abnormal!! this did not make sense to me!! I have to go for a core biopsy!! i am worried senseless about this and have to wait for an appointment to come through! i don't know what to expect if cells are abnormal is this malignant cells or pre cancerous cells. I know that i should have asked these questions when at the clinic but after i was told that there were some abnormal cells i seemed to be in a dase and can't remember much!!