I was very analytical and practical before surgery but now find that any little thing can set me off crying. Maybe it’s all gone a bit fast - 3-4 weeks between dx and op.
I have had 2 general anaesthetics in the space of 2 months, had a mirena coil inserted and removed (lump was hormone positive), had a scary callback and loads of further tests, been injected with a radioactive isotope, had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy, found i was allergic to a painkiller (diclofenac) which has left me with a numb leg, taken loads of paracetamol, ibuprofen, diclofenac, co-dydromol and co-codamol.
But feel like a bit of wimp when others have it so much worse.
Oh your poor thing, I just want to give you a hug! Doing the same myself I had my surgery 23rd nov WLE and ancillary node taken out, I have been so nauseous for the two weeks, and then I got my results yester spread to nodes so op chemo and rads, that’s if the scans come back ok, anyway OH said he is sick of all the talk of cancer and want us to act normal and get on with Christmas , but I keep crying and the littlest thing sets me off, to be honest I feel so sorry for myself and that’s why I cry, then I saw your post and cried again right pair aren’t we!! Look at the time and we are still up, you have had a rough time so cry it all out ,that’s what I am doing, then I take a look at some of the other ladies who are ahead of us in treatment and I feel better when you see that they have done it and they are so positive and encouraging to others, keep your pecker up Hun your gonna be fine no pain no gain sending you love and hugs xxxx
Ladies, this is normal reaction and you should not feel guilty about it. The shock of the news, keeping strong or pretending to be strong, can get too much. You need those tears. This is not a competition as who had it worse and who dealt with it better. We are all different and adjust to this in a different way.
This is why I found this site so helpful, I did not want to overburden my family with my issues; here I found the support I needed. This does not mean I did not discuss it with my OH and kids.
Your OH is finding difficult to cope with what is happening to you; don’t blame him. His life has also been turned upside down.
If the crying is going to put extra strain on yourself and your family, then talk to your doctor or try to see a councellor.
We can’t pretend we are strong 100% of the time.
Take good care.
Its sounds like you are both finding things pretty tough at the moment. As well as the support you are receiving on here it might help to talk through your feelings with one of the trained members of staff on the BCC helpline. They will be happy to offer you a listening ear as well as emotional support and practical information. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and Saturday 9 to 2pm.
Hi Ladies,
Your posts are so reassuring that all the emotions we feel here are completely normal.
At least what cancer’s done for me is to make me listen to MYSELF— if i wanna cry, i cry—if i wanna feel sorry for myself i allow it with no guilt!----Letting these emotions out means that they can pass through you like a river and then you can move forward into a place of calmness or acceptance, if you know what i mean.
My worse time was after final dose of chemo, and waiting in limbo for the date of my next surgery–i think i cried for a month and could not make a decision about the slightest thing.
I found that being on a beta-blocker has helped to calm my anxiety/panicky feelings, rather than going onto antidepressants.
I am on herceptin now, and get the results of my first annual mammo in just two days time; I dont think i’ll ever get used to all these appointments and tests without trepidation, but just being able to express these thoughts on a site such as this, is therapy in itself!
I think your responses are absolutely normal. Chicci you’ve had a rough ride, especially with your response to the pain relief, but as you’ve seen there are plenty of alternatives and the side effects will wear off. Pain relief is very important at this stage - don’t worry about necking as much industrial strength pain relief as you need to stop it before it starts. Pain is a symptom we are programmed to respond to and it can be depressing as well debilitating. So don’t wait to see if you need it.
I had a bit longer between dx and surgery because I had some hormonal treatment beforehand (on a trial) but I know now that I was completely fixated on surgery. Once I’d had the surgery I realised I’d just reached 1st base and not the top of the mountain and felt very down. Chicci you haven’t mentioned what treatment you are moving on to now, but I guess you will be having something. So part of both your responses is likely to be linked to that and for Chico your OH’s response. You’ve been through a shocking experience which has made you feel vulnerable and nostalgic for your BF free life. However it is worth remembering that your OH is also trying to cope with this too and probably thinks that trying to put it behind you for the next couple of weeks is the most positive thing to do for both of you. You can’t help feeling sad but try not to reject attempts to take you out of that grim
space. However much friends and family love us it is boring and wearing to hear us going on all the time. They do say some extraordinary things but go and look at that thread on the forum and have a laugh at it rather than feeling hurt.
Come to this forum when you feel down and we’ll take it on. It hasn’t been my experience that many people are in the game of oneupwomanship on how serious their BC is compared with others we just try to share experiences and offer some understanding.
Thanks filosfie,truddles vercors and sam,
I think I am just having some low days at the moment being christmas and I forget that my OH is too,It just seems so sureal with everyone talking about there plans for christmas and I have none because it will depend on how I feel, so quite right I do need to get my tree up and write my cards, I was never the negative one always looked on the bright side, but when I hear christmas carols I burst into tears, silly moo that I am, so any offers to take me to luch or shopping i will gladly go and get into the swing of it, hugs to all xxx
i too am having difficulty with the whole xmas thing, i think its normal we would feel like this. were you dx in november, there is thread for ladies dx in november if you want to join to give each support and advice throughout out treatment.
i have also had wle and radioactive thing and centinal node biopsy. i know i will be having rads in new year not seen onc yet about how many weeks of them i will have. i hoping just for a few days over xmas without any appointments or anything before it starts up again in new year. its good that things have moved fast getting things done but it is tiring, and not at a good time of year (not that any time would be good) with people going about getting ready for xmas but i just cant be bothered with it all at minute. i have managed to buy a few presents in last couple of days but only written 3 cards. my husband says he will do them. normally i am so organised but my head is all over the place at times and my memory at minute is rubbish.
Thanks so much to all who replied. The feelings seem to come and go.
I’m moving onto tam and rads next (rads in new yr like ticklemouse) which seems to bring home the fact that this is a marathon not a sprint. Thanks for understanding.
Hi TTM results of my op was that it has spread to lymph nodes, CT scan tomorrow bone scan Monday results 23rd if all clear then op booked 4th Jan for clearence then 6 months chemo plus rads.
I joined the September group as I was DX in early October, and was in the waiting room with some of the ladies, piggy in the middle as their was not an October thread, but I have been reading posts in the November thread, have you had your results from your op yet?