diagnosed today and so worried

[applestreet]

Hi

haven't been on here for a while but as the sleep fairy has moved out I am reading through the posts.

I can really understand how you feel and can say that in all honesty where you are at the moment is quite normal in relation to the situation you have found yourself in.

I was diagnosed last August with grade 3 tumour in my right breast. I can honestly say that from being an independent and strong woman I turned into a gibbering wreck. 5 months on and I have had my op, and started my treatment and am now in a completely different place in my head.

All the ladies have said everything else but I offer you all my support and best wishes on your journey. M

[Guest user]

Hello Choozysuzy!
How are you doing?Its nearly 4 weeks for me to. So strange how bc does this to you.
What a thing for a "friend" to say to you! My attitude is to ignore everything people say if they haven't been through it. I will listen to the drs and nurses and of course my nearest and dearest! I have to say all I have heard is positive stories about bc. I haven't heard a bad one yet!
I've had a wle and snb just last week and still may have an mx depends on results but just take each day at a time! Honestly its the best way.
I haven't had much to ask yet! I will find out eventually about my treatment I don't want to rush it. I'm not normally a laid back person but I find I'm quite relaxed about this current predicament I find myself in. My OH is brill and my two kids.
Good luck with everything
Love fran xx

[sarssquatty]

Hi Suzy

You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself, let it all out I did!

My experience was as soon as you tell someone you have cancer, they have a tale to tell, some people are very insensitive, and you soon learn who to tell and talk to and who to ignore, you will find out which friends will listen and support you and those who don't want to know and cannot cope with your illness.

As others have said, everone is different, everyone's journey is also different.

Take each day at a time and deal with what they throw at you.

The first few days after DX are very dark indeed and I remember that well, I will never forget the day I was DX, like you I went for a routine mammo and I was recalled, now I can say 4 years later, Thank God I went and was recalled.

Take care, and as others have said this is the best place to chat and ask questions and get advice and information.

Hugs xxxxx

[DJ007]

Hi ChoozySuzy

There's a whole thread on the 'Well meaning (but annoying) things that people say'.

Your friend's(?) comment definitely counts. Of course, you'll also get the folk who don't know why you're worried cos their neighbour/auntie/colleague had BC 20 years ago and they're fine. Almost as annoying Grrr!

S is right - your BC is personal to you and everyone is slightly different.

Once you have your op and they have the full histology report, you'll know exactly what your treatment plan is - what ever the results, it all seems a lot easier once you know what you are dealing with.

A year ago I was in a similar position - dx on 22nd Dec, knowing I had to have an mx, but waiting for an MRI (my cancer was lobular) and not knowing if it had got to my lymph nodes etc, etc. I had my mx, node clearance and immediate recon Jan last year, have had to have chemo and rads and am now on Tamoxifen. Despite having the 'full monty' I managed to keep working through most of it and I've now been back at work full time for over 2 months. It is all doable.

Good luck on your journey.
Dx

[Guest user]

I fully understand. It is a real whirlwind, I was diagnosed 29th nov, had sentinel node biopsy 3 days before Xmas,,got results today and have mx on the 14th. The waiting was by far the worst, once you have a treatment plan you can focus on getting rid of the gremlin..
Hope all goes well xx

[Guest user]

Choozysuzy, why do friends do that? Everyone is right we are all different and so is our diagnosis. Iv had many days where I think the worst, mine was grade 2, no chemo, why can't we focus on the survivors? More and more ladies and men are getting this disease, that we are all going 2 know somebody and just sometimes we hear the bad news. Onwards and upwards, x

[ChoozySuzy]

aww thank you for your post xxx I am feeling a bit sorry for myself I think ... I go for MRI scan on Thursday and then pre op on Friday and I hate hospitals!! I am dreading the surgery next week but hey ho I know I have to go through with it all but I just wonder what has happened to my life?? 4 weeks ago I didnt even know I had BC .. now I am just sort of getting through each day as best I can
Thank you all for your support xxx

[Guest user]

Choozysuzy, 30nov66 is absolutely right that every case is different and even if you appear to have the same as someone else, there could be many differences that could impact your overall prognosis and treatment plan. I know it is so hard to think logically when waiting for results but once you have your plan it will get easier I promise.
Take care
L x

[ChoozySuzy]

thanks for your reply xx I hope to have a better day tomrrow xxx

[Guest user]

Hi Choozysuzy,

Ah, that's not good to hear. But until you're in this situation people all think bc is all the same. Eeveyone's different and everyone's diagnosis is different so don't let what others say get you down!

Hope you feel better soon.

S x

[ChoozySuzy]

Bad day today ....... a friend(?) spoke to about how a friend of hers had had same as me ... lump then lumpectomy then radiotherapy then died 12 months later .. I just went down to ground zero!!! I am afraid I took it ut on my OH when he came home from work and now I am feeling so darned negative I just dont know what to do???? Tearful and being very silly I know cos I am normally a strong person but this has just knocked me for six.

Suzy xx

[KatyD]

Hi Suzy

I agree with what Ruth said the MRI scan is ok but it is noisy. I had headphones on and was spoken too at every stage when they were not talking I had the radio on. I was really worried about having the MRI and it was no where near as bad as I imagined it would be.
All the best
take care
KatyD

[Ruth13]

Hi Suzy,

The MRI took about 20 minutes, you do have to lay face down with your breasts in two holes!! It is however very bright in the machine with music playing in ear phones and I didn't find it very claustrophobic, even though I can get so. It is also very noisy.

As Sheil said I have lobular BC and they use MRI scans for this type. I have to say that the MRI scan did not show it up very well either, I went on to have a wide excision but the edges were not clear, so I had a MX 2 weeks later.

That was 1 month ago, and I've now started chemo, but I'm fully recovered ftom the surgery which I did not find too bad. It is all one step closer to the end!

Any questions please ask, you'll be fine.

Fiona xx

[sheil]

Hi Suzy
I was where you are just a year ago and remember how awful it is. I had two MRI's, one in an older machine which is more enclosed, but still very doable. The other in a new, shorter, wider machine which is much more open-feeling. Both are noisy, and you'll probably be upside down with arms upwards, so I hope you don't find that position to uncomfortable. I just went in and counted the time they said it would last (I think it was about 15 mins but really not sure) and it was over before my counting was finished.

Do you know if you are 'lobular'. I think that's a common reason for doing MRI's - it was for me. Not a bad thing, usually very 'treatable'. I had more than one tumour (all smallish) but still ended up with WLEs and rads, no chemo necessary. And the fact they are doing a sentinel node biopsy is a good thing too, means there's no obvious signs of it in your nodes. Wishing you much luck with the results there.

I got a bit freaked out at all the tests they seemed to be throwing am me which most others weren't getting, made me think I had something worse than usual. But then one nice doctor said what I had "was more complicated than serious" and I could have hugged him.

You will get through it but it is just awful at the early stages when everything is just very scary. I was just too afraid at that point to ask any questions in case I didn't like the answers, but I gradually absorbed lots of information and now am out the other end except for having to take aromatase inhibitors for another 4 years and have quite a good prognosis.

Good luck with the MRI, its not something to worry about unless you are very claustrophobic, and not even that if your hospital has a newer machine. Let us know how it goes.

S
X

[ChoozySuzy]

Thanks Fiona ... I do feel a bit better after reading your comments ... how long does the MRI scan take? I am just dreading all the visits to hospital but I am trying to take one day at a time and just get through it. I would like to thank everyone on here who has reassured me that this is a fight I can win.. Thank you so much all you nice people xx

[Ruth13]

Dear Suzy,

Hope you had a great weekend away.

Good luck with the MRI, I didn't find it too bad, just try and relax and listen to the music. There is nothing to worry about with the sentinel node marking, the injection I didn't even really feel and if the lady doing it is anything like the lady I had and reaaly nice and reassuring, I'm sure you will be fine.

Fiona x

[ChoozySuzy]

hello again ... i just thought i would let you all know that my other half has booked us a 2 night stay at a lovely hotel for New Year and he says I must get a lovely outfit to wear for tomorrow night .... not sure if I will be able to stay cheerful but I will do my best and have a few glasses of wine lol ... hope you all have a lovely New Year and lets raise a glass to all of us as we fight our new foe .. and lets win!!!
Suzy xxxx

[Guest user]

Hi there,

I was diagnosed just a coule of weeks ago and go for surgery next Friday. I read in the folder they give you about the feelings you go threough and the disbeleif and completely agree. I also just read today about the stigma and myths still attached to the word cancer and that it is so much more treatable and curable in this day and age. It doesn't stop yoou feeling that your life as you knew it has just changed forever, but it is true that it doens't have to be doom and gloom! Nobody seems to understand ...except the people here so thanks to everyone!

[ChoozySuzy]

Thank you all for your response to my post .... I have been very emotional this afternoon and I am sure I am getting on my other half's nerves. It has been so helpful and comforting to me to read the posts and I feel as if I am not so alone anymore. I go for my MRI scan next Thursday and my op is scheduled for 12 January.I also have to have a radioactive isotpe injection ( sounds scary) on 11 January so it will be like never being away from the hospital. At present I am wondering how I will cope with all this and if the cancer doesnt finish me off I am sure the worry will ha ha! At least I am attempting to keep my sense of humour which has helped me through hard times in my past.
Thanks again to you all and I shall be a very regular visitor here.
Suzy x

[Guest user]

Hi choozysuzy

Im very sorry that u have to join this gang but u will find lots of support and info to help u along this journey. I was dx 16th august, had lumpectomy and sentinal nodes removed 1st sept, I remember the horrible place where u are now where it is very scarey and upsetting but once u have a plan of action from the docs it will become easier to deal with.

Dont google some very outdated info out there, keep posting, no question is a silly question, all the ladies on here will help u through this, I have found this site a godsend when ive been worried or needed reassurances.

Take care of urself, big hugs

Clare x

[Ruth13]

Hi ChoozySuzy,

You are not alone in being frightened and confused at the start.

I had a small breast thickening that also turned out to be a Grade 2 invasive cancer. I was diagnosed on 2nd November. It is a real roller coastal ride, I had an MRI scan too at the start. I have since been on and had two operations and have started chemo.

To begin with you can think of nothing else all day every day and everything else seems so trivial. It does get easier, but I still have very low times. It helps to read these forum entries as it makes you feel less alone.

Good Luck, I'm sure you will be fine.

xx

[Lakeslover]

Hi,

My experience is very similar to yours.

I had my first routine mammogram on the 2nd December....except it turned out not to be so routine after all. I had a recall and biopsy, was given the diagnosis of grade 2 invasive cancer on the 15th, and then lumpectomy and node clearance on the 20th. All very fast.

Now I am waiting for the final histology and staging and to find out what comes next; definitely RAD, possibly chemo.

I too have good and bad days, days when I think I can't cope with the speed and scale of it all. My OH just keeps saying take one day at a time.

It has really helped me reading the posts on here and finding that other people feel the same as I do. It makes me feel more "normal" somehow.

[Louise_BCC]

Hi there ChoozySuzy

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I'm sure you'll find them a great source of support and information.

I thought you might be interested in our Resources Pack which is available to order at the link below. It contains lots of information to help you understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available:

http://www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications/diagnosed-breast-cancer/resource-pack-primary-early...

Also, if you feel it might help to talk to someone other than family, our Helpline staff are available. They can direct you to other sources of help and information or just listen if you need to offload.

They're on 0808 800 6000. They're open today until 5pm, closed over the Bank Holiday but then back to normal opening times from Tuesday. Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Kind regards.

Louise
Facilitator

[3network3]

Hello ChoozySuzy

I'm very sorry you're joining us. We've all been there, the numb feeling, the ever so scared heart of "what next?". The feeling to be your own stranger and alien to yourself. I found the day of my dianosis the worst time in it all, this is now six weeks ago and I have started chemo since. It will get better, they all say that and it is true. There are days you feel you can cope with this and there are days when you feel more down, but altogether it does get better. You get to learn your new you and you learn to accept it.

We're with you on every step, the sharing helps a lot.

Cyber hugs and love from Christine xx

[ChoozySuzy]

Hi
I have just got back from the hospital and, to be honest, I dont feel as if I am in a normal world anymore. I had a routine screening mammogram four weeks ago and now I just feel that my life has spiralled out of my control. I have to go in for surgery in two weeks to remove a cancerous lump, but before this I have to have an MRI scan to make sure they have picked up everything. I am just so scared and wondered if anyone else here is at this stage. My cancer is assessed as a grade 2 which isnt very aggressive but it doesnt help me much knowing that! Just hope someone can offer me some advice as I am not sure how to cope.