73.3K members
1.2M posts
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

dont know where to turn

23 REPLIES 23
Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hey Coza
Yeh i will keep you posted i'm not to sore today under my arm but my nipple is really sore strange. my breast care nurse told me about the cold cap but don't think i will have it if i have chemo can't stand the thought of brain freeze and i'm always cold lol. Keep me posted hun take care big hugs.
Becky xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi becky, good luck with the wedding plans. A very exciting time for you. I too am very sore under the arms and round the side of the breast today. Drains came out yesterday - the nurse said they were the deepest drains she had ever removed. But at least I feel more human now, with out the obligatory carrier bag hanging from my hip!

Let us now how you are getting on and what your treatment will be. I have been riveted to the cold cap thread in anticipation of chemo....

Xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hey Coza
I didn't have drains thank god but had the blue dye and they took the main 2 nodes out under my arm is so sore :o( Good luck with your results they haven't told me anything about my treatment but i will be glad when i do know as I'm getting married July this year
Good luck keep me posted
Big Hugs
Becky xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi Zumba, I hope you are now at home and starting to feel a bit more normal. I was lucky and didn't have any sickness after surgery, although four days on I still have two drains in. They have to come out tomorrow as it will be day 5. I find out next Wednesday re future treatment, but it is likely I will have chemo and radio according to the breast care nurse. Good luck x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hey coza
Hope your op went well had mine the same day as yours i had to stay in over night as felt to sick and light headed but just glad its over for a few weeks.Can't wait to get my results in 2 weeks time,just fed up of the waiting game you seem to take 1 step forward and 10 steps back.And my emotions have been all over the place laughing one min and crying the next but we will get through it keep your chin up
xxx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Had the best night out ever last night! A really good time with school friends - laughed more than I have done all year. Am going to have a quiet day with the family today and doing some housework (yes, I am a freak but it will make me feel better knowing that everything is tidy for tomorrow!)

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Well done keep your chin up,enjoy yourself tonight i had a few good nights out after biopsy and before surgery it helped to keep me up! let us know after monday HG xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Wow, I can't believe you three ladies have made me cry with your kind words! Thank you so much. I will post again after Monday and let you know how it went. I think I am super emotional ! Thank you again

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi Coza, if it is any help; i had no pain prior to biopsy, but then leading up to my lumpectomy i had a lot of pain in the breast and under the arm where the fine needle aspiration of the lymph node was taken. I also had a lot of shoulder pain; in hindsight i think a lot of shoulder pain was tension and holding myself awkwardly. It is common to have pain after the biopsy i found that worse actually than the lumpectomy which felt quite numb after the operation as they cut through nerves. The operation was no where near as bad as i thought just a bit uncomfortable. Hope that helps and i have found a lot of support on here i was a mess in the beginning, I dont know how i would have coped without this sight. Love HG

supertrouper
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

Hiya Coza

I totally understand and relate to how you are feeling right now. I was pretty much the same as you when I was diagnosed, feeling I had to be strong for the people around me. The pains you are feeling will be magnified at the moment as your body will be in hyper alert mode. You don't have to stay strong all the time - it is okay to have melt downs. I did. I was diagnosed in May 2011, invasive lobular carcinoma grade 3 with lymph node involvement. I had 8 chemotherapy sessions, then a mastectomy and axillary clearance and have just finished 15 session of radiotherapy.

I am sure many other ladies will follow to leave their messages for you. Stick around - we are a good bunch and we support each other.

Sam_BCC
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi Coza

Welcome to the forums, sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. It sounds like you are having a pretty tough time at the moment, I’m sure some of the users will soon be along to offer you support and advice.

In the meantime maybe you would like to talk to a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open today until 2pm and Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

This is my first post. Never thought I would be here. I came on for a look about 8 weeks ago when first diagnosed but thought it was not for me. Well, here I am, after 8 weeks of supporting everyone else, with surgery due on Monday and now feeling very very scared. I have been very positive "what will be will be" and I just have to get on with it. And now I find myself with no one to tell my fears to cos they all thing I am coping marvellously! I can so relate to everything that you ladies are saying. I am having a lumpectomy on Monday and my 9 year old found paper work yesterday and I had some very tricky explaining to do. I think I told her that having a tooth out would be harder. Woke up at 3am and went into melt down. Having the OH asking "what is wrong" didn't really help - I just wanted to scream "WTF do you think is wrong?!". Whenever I have told anyone I have BC they have cried, and I have been strong for them. I think I have coped really well, but suddenly I need someone to talk to who doesn't know me and who isn't going to break down so that I have to remain strong. And then I feel selfish for feeling that way.

My concerns are that I have recently been feeling pain in my breast and underarm which wasn't there before. Surgery is on Monday so not a lot I can do about it now, but did anyone else feel like this. Is it a real pain or psychosomatic?

If anyone can advise, that would be great. I am going out tonight with my girlfriends as an early birthday night out, but am suddenly feeling quite wretched about the whole thing.

Love to all of you on this site, and thank you for your posts!

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

All of us are scared its a natural reaction, the trouble is everyone who hasn't got it, cares, is grateful its not them and thinks that telling us to stay positive is the best way to help us cope. My Dr even sent me for some hypnotherapy (the type that Paul McKenna practices, cos he said the brain can't take the tapping on the head and thoughts at the same time, and the tapping wins. Somehow unbelievably it has helped and my mantra now is that I'm living in the moment, which has calmed me down quite a bit. All sounds a bit mad but its all worth a try!

lottie63
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi All
Ive just had surgery ( Monday ) and waiting for reslts and treatment plan 8th march, couldnt agree more with you all I dont feel very brave at the moment just scared,angry one min im laughing with my OH about something the next im crying my eyes out, but just being able to come on here and share how I feel has been beyond words, I wish none of us were in this position I truly do but we are and everyone here wants to help the other get through this,

Love & luck to you all

Keep up the good work girls x

Janice ((((( hugs )))))

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

I used to hate people saying to me be positive! I used to think 'I am positive! Her 2 Positive and that's the problem....' people just don't understand. You have got to experience what we've experienced to understand. I still don't know we're to turn. I have good days and bad. Sadly the latter seems to be winning at the moment. I had my 6th Herceptin yesterday and I'm afraid it isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be...it doesn't help when every one around you seems to be having the time of their lives and I'm just so cream crackered...I feel like a real miserable cow!

Annie22
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

I've come to think that we're all very British about this, and deny ourselves encouragement. We could just decide that someone saying we are brave is well-meant praise and not think more deeply about it.

As the months and treatment have gone on, I now think 'Yes, I am brave'. Brave simply means 'able to endure danger or pain'. We all do this, we may cry, get angry/depressed, whatever...but we endure it and get on with it.

So, if anyone says that to me now, I just say 'thank you'. Getting to the end of the journey to the best of our ability is what it is all about. So, take it as praise and let it make you feel encouraged.

Annie

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Wow ladies we must all think and feel the same. I too am a strong positive person and brushed aside lots of things, the usual if anyone will get through this it's you Carolyn was said by so many people, and that's what I also felt. But just pre chemo when I git the call that's not how I felt so had a few days of minor meltdown. I'm sure everyone else goes though the same emotions.

Like previous advice speak to BCN or councillor they've heard it all and know what to say and how to give practical advice. The waiting is whats worse funnily enough not the treatment.

Use thus site as well everyone is going through the same things and the advice from more experienced ladies is amazing.

Love and hugs Carolyn xxx

Mazzalou
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

Hello Can't believe imhere

Of course you are in shock having just had your diagnosis, but try to remain calm. I found it helpful to think that at least I had found my lump, and that something could be done about it rather than be ignorant about it. Try to find positives in your situation as they are there even if everything seems rather negative at the moment. Once you start your treatment you will be one step nearer to your recovery and you will start to feel back in control of your life as your treatment progresses.

You will receive the very best of treatment I am sure, and there are 50,000 more women in the UK alone each year who share your diagnosis. Take comfort from the fact that you are not alone and a lot of these women are on this website suppporting you, and others like you with your treatment. One of them is me so join hands and follow me as I am now further down the line than you, following a mx with reconstruction last April, 3 FEC and 3 Docetaxels, 15 rads and herceptin.

I think that every woman on this site who has been diagnosed will have been just as scared as you currently are regarding the prospect of what lies ahead.

Cross the bridges of your treatment as you come to them, and take things one day at a time. You haven't mentioned if you have had any treatment plan yet. I guess that one of the biggest fears we all have once we are diagnosed is having to undergo chemo as prior to our diagnosis we only seem to have heard horror stories about chemo. I think that the fear of chemo is worse than the experience so try and take it in your stride and mark each chemo session off as you have them. I had to have 6 sessions so after 2 I was 1/3 through, after 3 I was halfway, after 4 I was 2/3 through and then after 5 it was just the last one. This bite-sized approach to my treatment worked for me.

Just remember that chemo is different things to different people, but most of us who have undergone it will agree that it is 'doable'. Just let your oncologist know if you really can not put up with any of your treatment as they can always find a way round any problem, but you must let them know and don't suffer in silence. The side effects are what you MIGHT experience, but then again you MIGHT NOT.

Take a look at what is already in your bathroom cabinet and the chances are even a headache tablet has side effects listed that didn't stop you from taking them and that you never experienced either.

I have also kept a diary called 'My Journey' and I would certainly recommend it as not only is it quite therapeutic in recording how you are feeling on your good days and your bad days, but it will also serve as a memory of your treatment should you need to refer back to it for any reason in the future. After all, do you remember exactly when you had measles or chickenpox? And you will have good days, even if you can never imagine it at the moment.

Take the support of your Breast Cancer Nurses who are there for you. Mine told me told me that they will see me through this, and they will. Together we will beat this as you will too.

Life will get better - I know for I have almost reached the 1 year anniversary of finding my lump when my life seemingly turned upside- down, inside-out and back-to-front in a moment.

Take care

Mazzalou x

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi, I remember feeling exactly like you, please believe me it does get easier. The mind is the most powerful part of our body, I felt totally alone, scared and believed everything I read was going to happen to me! 6 months down the line I feel better, I will never be the person I was but I can cope with that, I still have dark moments but it does get easier. Good luck xx

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

You will have ups and downs and people don't generally see the downs. I get the 'brave' and 'positive'remarks all the time. For me it's a case of getting on with it as best I can. Sometimes I can cope well, sometimes not. A neighbour said to me the other day that he didn't know how I coped with chemo. Because the alternative would be a bit terminal I said. He looked at me and then said, yes I hadn't thought of that. Sorry. And then we went on to chat about other things.
Try not to think too far ahead. All of the treatment is manageable. Some more so than others. You will have a team who will help you. If you have a problem speak out. They will have seen it before and be able to give you advice and help. I'm glad you've found this site. It has been my lifeline.

Xx Sarah

SamLee
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

I entirely agree with Magda, I too am a very practical, positive person and the thing I hated the most was people saying how "brave" I was. It isn't brave just doing what you are told to get better, but people don't tend to see it like that.

I found sometimes, coping with other people as bad if not worse than coping with the treatment and the disease.

And of course you are scared, you wouldn't be normal if you weren't. But I would say that you will find it easier as time goes on. We all do and we all get through it, despite and inspite of everyone else.

Take care.
Sam

Magda
Member

Re: dont know where to turn

What you are experiencing is completely normal. If anyone says to me " keep positive' ' youre so brave' I say that I'm more of a pragmatic person and I do what I have to as I don't have much choice!
Of course youre scared who wouldn't be...
People arnt being cruel they just don't realise that these remarks just make it harder to communicate with them.
My heart goes out to you we've all been there and you know it does get easier so be kind to yourself and don't give yourself any ANY unnecessary stress.

Guest user
Not applicable

Re: dont know where to turn

Hi there,
You don't give much info. But you are entitled to be terrified. People do care but they need you to be positive for their sake really. I am very lucky in that I am a positive person.
I'm 66 and 15 days post bilateral mastectomy with immediate tummy tuck reconstruction. Yay!
If you need to yell, then yell. Scream if you need to. Breathing out harshly is a great fear reliever but at the end of the day you have had a huge shock and cancer is a HUGE thing to deal with so do not let anyone tell you how to feel or how to behave. You do what is right for you.
Use your breast cancer nurse. They are unshockable and have seen everything before and will not judge you. Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself.
Make sure you ask the questions (nothing is too silly) and make sure the answers you get satisfy you. Knowledge is power over fear. be prepared to argue and get stroppy if you need to. This cancer is all about you and other people are just going to have to deal with that.
Please accept my good wishes. victoria

Guest user
Not applicable

dont know where to turn

Everyone is offering advice 'keep positive" "don't be a victim" I know someone who "had it" "They're all better now'

But I am so scared and don't feel positive at all.

Am I being negative and unfair?