So sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I can sympathise as I was dx last February just three weeks after my mum had died of an unknown cancer (I would have pushed harder for a post mortem if I'd known about my BC then - as it was I was persuaded not to ask for it). It is a lot to cope with all at the same time, and it is difficult to know what causes all the ups & downs - is it the cancer or is it the bereavement? I find that I cannot separate the two in my head.
A BC nurse suggested I go for counselling, so I was referred by my onc. I had counselling for several months, just stopping after the anniversary of my mum's death. I would definitely recommend it, it was useful to have some 'me' time each week, when I could discuss my fears/problems without having to worry about upsetting anyone else, or without having to appear strong infront of the family.
Debs and Jacquie, thank you for your kind words and love and hugs, it is the first time I have used the forum, and wondered if anyone would reply to me, that really meant alot xxx
Hello Sue and Debs,
I am sorry to hear you are both still unhappy about your mastectomies/recons. It is a huge thing to go through, and it is bound to take a long time until your mind/heart catches up with what's happened.
Sue, that is so sh*t that your Mum has died, especially as you say she was your best friend. I really hope you have some good support from other friends/family. I am sure some other people on here will reply soon, who have been in a similar place to you.
Sending warm hugs and cyber-support
So sorry to hear you are feeling down at the moment, it is hard enough going through the trauma of the ops and on top of that you have your personal loss as welI. I know what you mean about finding it hard to accept, I had a mastectomy last March at 35 years old and found it very hard to accept what had happened to me. My breast care nurse was a real help and I had regular chats with her on the phone and after appointments at the hospital, she also put me in touch with a counsellor at the hospital who I have been seeing on a weekly basis and that has really helped me deal with everything, he made me realise that how I was feeling was completely normal and gave me a much more positive outlook. I have been unhappy about my reconstruction and I am going in for another op on 10th March, I'm having a second mastectomy and work on my reconstruction - my consultant told me that it takes an average of 5 ops to get them looking really good (I had a becker implant). It must be hard after what happened to your mum to think about going into hospital again but maybe you should have a chat with your breast care nurse about how you feel.
Treat yourself to something nice at times like this and remember that there is always someone out there to help.
Love & Hugs
I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34, I have undergone several operations, including a bi-lateral mastecomy and reconstruction, I dont feel happy about the way I look and find it hard to accept that this is me now, I could have further surgery to correct what my surgeon thinks is scar tissue that has formed, however I dont know if this will change the way I feel, also I lost my mum who was also my best friend 2 years ago after she contracted MRSA and a serious lung infection after reconstruction surgery. She had battled and won a fight with cancer twice. I wonder is I will ever feel 'normal' again, I think I've forgotten what this is!