well i have another week of waitin to have scans then further waiting for results am feeling so strange i feel quite full no real appetite and quite headachy and whoozy today some days dont feel too bad but this is scary i am sure its secondaries as 3 wks since chemo (was supposed to be the last)but am now in waiting limbo my local recurrence will not have rads til scan results so just feel a s though this disease is growing with every day just need to get it off my chest i have dealt with all this and tried to be strong for my kids(they only have me their dad died aged 38)but i get so bloody angry with what lies ahead my hubby had brain tumour and was awful to see him with that but i nursed him day and night til the end but who will do that for me dont want my kids to be my carers.sorry if i have brought anyonedown but i have never been jealous of anyone but feel jealous of everyone who is healthy(i know thats wrong)thankyou for listening just so glad to have this site where u all understand love rachel grumpy knickers!!!x
Sorry you are having such a hard time, wish there was a magic wand to wave to make it all go right. Waiting round really is the pits, you just can’t get on with doing or planning anything.
Hope that being able to vent here will help you through. Scream away .
Hi Rachel,
Its not wrong to feel jeolous of healthy people its a normal reaction to your situation. I have had similar feelings in the past.
The waiting is the worst bit and sometimes it feels like you are always waiting for something, blood tests, scans, results and treatment.
This site is very supportive, however have you considered getting in touch with a McMillan Counsellor/Psychologist in order to help you cope with this very difficult period. Your BCN should be able to refer you. I use McMillan for support. I also use amytriptline and ovaltine for a good nights sleep. I also find keeping myself distracted helps, planning things to do i.e. days out, going to the cinema anything really.
Alex
Alex
I wish I could do something to help, I feel for you so much. I hope things are brighter than you fear xx
Just so sorry that anyone has to feel like that-this is such a cruel disease-I do hope the results are good for you.
The after effects of chemo can be cumulative and can drag on for ages and stress doesnt help either.
All I can offer is a few cyber hugs and a hand to hold from a fellow triple negative person.((((0000))))
Valxx
thankyou all felt bit guilty about my post hope it didnt sound self centred as i genuinly feel for everyone on here and you are all so understanding still like it or not we are on this rollercoaster and its good to know we can have a good scream if we get scared… thankyou again hope you all have a good sunday love rachel x
hifaiyqueen feel the same love miss allyson