Hi Bella
I had LD recon three years ago, so muscle taken from back etc…I did not have haemtaoma, so I can’t comment on that I am afraid, but I do remember being in a lot of pain for a few months and had seroma, but nothing I couldn’t handle. At some point,( when it felt I had been hit over the back with a sledge hammer,) I wondered what the hell I had done to my body… but it was my decision.
With regard to your arm, some ladies do find that their range of movement and strength is compromised, mine was not and I did 0 execises! It is very early days for you Bella, give it time. Do your exercises and keep active, I think it helps to strengthen the muscle.
You hate your recon, okay I get that. It is a massive body adjustment to get used to and with all due respect, unless people have been there, then they cannot possibly comprehend how it feels.
I have mourned the loss of my breast for over 2 years now, I have cried, been angry, been in a fog, you name it, I have been there! I am 5 years post DX and was fine for the first 3 years. Then BANG, i crashed - that was the end of 2012. Last year was better than the year before, this year will be even better. I am not going to attempt to get over my loss, but I will work at living with the new me and body. But that takes time and there is no set time frame. Some ladies seem to bounce back quickly, whilst for others, it takes far longer. You are NOT being ungrateful, never think that.
The BC/Recon journey can be a lonely one and even with support, you can stil feel isolated and lonely at times, I did and still do at times… What works for me, is doing something I enjoy each day, even if it is just a walk in the fresh air. Can you access any support groups or counselling/CBT? It might help stop you feeling alone?
Take things slowy, your body has been through the mill and you need to heal on the outside before you can consider healing from within.
Naz xxxxx